Tuesday, November 13, 2012

NaBloMoPo 13 - What is the bravest thing you've ever done?

I think one of the bravest things I've ever done was be open to talking about my ectopic pregnancy - If you like you can read about it here.

And one of the other bravest things was standing up to my childhood bully in the middle of a history class, to say I wouldn't take her crap anymore.

I suppose taking a one year contract when I had a permanent job was pretty brave too.

I try and be as open as I can about the pregnancy.

There are these little pockets of life that we don't speak about. That sex is messy and you'll usually need to clean yourself up a bit afterwards. That death happens, and bodies have to be washed and dressed and readied for the grave. That some people have more or less money, and use it in way A or way B.

I think of my ectopic pregnancy like that. When it first happened, I felt like I couldn't talk about it, like it was shameful. Because I'd got pregnant without planning it, because we weren't married, because it didn't end up in a baby, because I was using a long term contraceptive at the time. All these things are not shameful. But it felt it a bit.

And because it meant the world would know I had had sex. *gasp*

It also makes me feel sad. A lot then, a little every now and again nowadays.

So talking about it is hard. But then I think, if I don't talk about it, some woman might ignore the warning signs like I did. Someone might be feeling ashamed too, or sad too. And I want them to know they're not alone.

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