NaBloPoMo 22 - 26

 Fri 22 Nov

Difficult morning getting Lydia out the house, worked from home until school pick up time. Went and got Lydia from school and then drove to Leighton Buzzard to stay with Jess and Andy for the weekend. Everyone tired and grumpy, low point was having an argument with Tom in a lay-by as we tried to wake Phoebe up as sleeping in the car causes bedtime issues. Had Subway for tea in Oxford, everyone a lot happier after that. Arrived at bedtime, Phoebe did not want to go to sleep, spent evening chatting and catching up over wine and chilli with the Treharnes when all the kids finally asleep. Lots of emergency closures at work to sort out because of Storm Bert, am on call this week.

Saturday 23 Nov

Phoebe awake at 5am, managed to get her back to sleep, but she still got up for the day about 630am, waking the house up with her. Tom sorted kids in the morning with Jess, I had lie in until 930am which made me feel more human. Kids played all morning whilst we got dressed and sorted, then went out to Canal Museum at Stoke Bruerne. Very good museum with a kid friendly floor and a grown up floor, and cafe and small shop. Had a good time looking round whilst waiting for John and Adele to arrive. Over the canal for lunch at the Old Boat Inn for very nice pub grub, then a very wet and windy walk. Back home for tea and cake and chatting, buffet of cold bits out the fridge for tea and beige party food - always goes down well with our kids. Adele went home mid afternoon, John stayed the night, so again much catching up and wine after kids all finally asleep.

Sunday 24 Nov

My turn to get up with the kids, but they woke up a bit earlier, much less painful. Lots of lolling around in our pjs breakfasting whilst we waited in turn for the bathrooms, much tea. Once everyone sorted, kids played around adults chatting. Gammon and roast veggies for lunch expertly cooked by Treharnes with Dorset Apple Cake for pudding. Trip to St Barnabas Church for their very sweet Christmas tree festival in afternoon, nice rainy walk to tire everyone out. John off home after this, then another buffet tea and PJs for our girls before we drove home in torrential rain. Big chat with Tom in car on way home about trying to parent better and chill out more.

Monday 25 Nov

Everyone easy enough to get out the house today for a nice change. Day at my desk at home again in back to back meetings, find this frustrating as I don't get the rest of my work done. Stopped work at 5 to sort dinner, had chat with kids about our house rules over food which was semi successful, then went to get dressed for dance. Had crisis of confidence over what to wear, went with clown trousers and baggy top, Lydia joined me to choose my makeup for me and have a chat which is sweet. Dance really good again to tonight, loads of lovely lyrical dances. Home very late, had to have midnight snack as starving.

Tuesday 26 Nov

Needed to shower this morn as had crawled into bed unwashed last night. Managed to keep my cool when came down at 8:20 to find Lydia part dressed when it was time to leave already, got her out the door with minimum fuss. Another day of back to back meetings and not feeling like I'm getting anywhere. Meeting at school for the parenting course. Found it really hard today, felt like it was all  my fault the kids misbehave and I'm a bad parent which coloured the rest of the evening.  Makes me feel like I have to be strict and hold boundaries whatever, rather than going with my instincts and flexing to make life work for us, the exact opposite of other parenting books I've read. Not sure what to do about it.

Tried having 10 mins with Phoebe 'special time' as per the course whilst Lydia did same with Tom, went OK. Bedtime difficult, Phoebe on one. Had a parenting low moment shouting at Phoebe and trying to hold her in the bed where she just wouldn't stay in bed and Tom had to tag me out. Spent most of evening crying in bed and being angry about how I'm a bad parent who can't do the simplest things and why don't I enjoy parenting like other people seem to. It all feels very hard. Tom being very nice to me and bringing me tea and chocolate. Have had realisation that my period is due tomorrow and I'm often struggling at this point in my cycle. Good knowledge for next month.

NaBloPoMo 19 - 21

 Not really feeling this this year! I think because nothing very interesting happens to me anymore.

Tues 19 Nov

Full on day of work, parenting course at school, feeling a bit under the weather, so doom scrolling and housework in the evening.

Wed 20 Nov

No swimming for Phoebe as pipe had burst at swimming pool. Walked her up to Bitterne to drop off a parcel after the school run. Killed time looking at shops and buying snacks before back to school at 11am for a school tour for Phoebe as she's incredibly starting school next September. She'll only be 4 years 1 month when she starts, so one of the tiniest ones. She was quiet and apprehensive as we walked round, but liked spotting some of the siblings of Lydia's friends in Year R. 

Walked up to bus stop and then caught bus into town to meet Alex for lunch at the John Lewis cafe. Phoebe very excited to be going on bus and to walk through the Christmas market looking at the giant Christmas trees and Christmas pyramid. Bit wriggly at lunch, but so happy to see Alex, her curly friend! Then got lift back home with Alex, did a bit of house work whilst Phoebe played, including scrubbing dog poo off Lydia's walking boots. Phoebe also very happy to have a go in Rosa's big girl car seat on the lift home. 

Tom's mum arrived and read Phoebe some stories, then went to pick Lydia up from school, whilst I got Phoebe changed for ballet. Frost had melted enough so cycled up to ballet in the cold. Went to drop parcels off and pick up parcels on the way home. Absolutely baltic weather, but Phoebe liked the fairy lights everywhere.

Home for dinner - smoked salmon, mash and veg, with cream sauce. Then bedtime for Phoebe. Knitting and TV for us once kids in bed.

Thurs 21 Nov

Walked Phoebe to preschool as Tom needing to go out early for work. Started snowing on walk home, was quite heavy for a few hours and settled. Had mostly melted by mid afternoon. Lydia super excited by it, think only the second time she's seen in. Tom's mum less enthusiastic about walking Lydia to school and driving home in it. Lots of phone calls today, feeling under the weather, had lunch time nap. Rallied in evening to go dancing. Popped in to Hedge M&S on way to pick up some new tights as loads of mine had holes in. In the gym at the school tonight rather than the main hall, extremely cold. Had gone in tights under my dress intending to take it off, ended up putting more clothes on, and didn't take off my coat for ages!

NaBloPoMo 18 - brain fatigue

 My brain is so tired.

Took both girls to preschool/school today as Tom had an early start. Lydia up and dressed which was a huge deal and so helpful.

Then back to my desk for loads of calls back to back and leading GDPR for images training. That involves me being 'on' my best shiny sparkly self. It makes my brain hurt by the end of day. Lots of trying to bring people out of their shell and getting them to contribute.

Dancing in the evening, brought my friend Bev along with me. She had a great night! Good night to come along for your first night as it as the Charity Bake Off night - I got asked to judge - so many tasty cakes!

Had a fab night of dancing, loads of people in. So relaxing and all consuming.

Interesting conversation with Tom before bed about how I use my people skills in different aspects of my life. I am a chronic flirt, I want people to leave a conversation, interactions with me feeling good about themselves, and wanting to spend more time with me and there's a fine line between 'flirting', charisma and manipulation. Lots to unpick there, but it was a great conversation.

NaBloPoMo 16-17

Fully familyfied this weekend

Saturday was a picnic at Dearleap in the forest for Aoife's birthday followed by a walk/cycle, then tea at the Wickens with all my siblings, parents and Papa. Went dancing after the kids were in bed but the freestyle was a bit quiet so came home early.

Today was roast dinner at ours for everyone, then Tom and Andy took the kids to the park whilst Ellie and I did the washing up. Wickens stayed for tea, then bed and bath for our girls after they went home. 

Phoebe and Aoife thick as thieves running around the house playing, best friends one minute, falling out there next, then hiding under Phoebe's duvet. 

Actually feeling a bit peopled out which is rare for me, so hiding in bed post kids bedtime.

NaBloPoMo 15 - still at my desk

Writing now whilst I need a break from work - still loads to do on the to do list. Had 1:1 with  my manager, she's pleased with my digital interp work, and confidence course call, chatted about how to make better allies of men in the workplace to help women, particularly in meetings.

Booked October 2025 trip to Efteling for Verity's 30th birthday.

NaBloPoMo 14 - Dolly

 Another grumpy morning getting the kids out to school, then dentists for me, and a flat out day of back to back meetings. Stopped in time to get jacket potatoes in the oven for kids tea and to madly get changed before rushing to the theatre in Chichester to see "Here You Come Again". Went with my friend Darren, who lives round the corner from the theatre as a birthday treat. Really sweet and uplifting show. I love Dolly Parton both as a musician and as a person, so it was great fun!

NaBloPoMo 13 rush

I don't work Wednesdays so I can hang out with Phoebe but we spend the day rushing around between the school run and ballet. 

No one tells you how much of you like as a parent is spent as a taxi service and personal assistant. The ferrying about and endless admin. I swear I go to work for a rest! 

Currently chilling for 30 mins whilst Phoebe is in her ballet class. She started in Sept and seems to absolutely love it. She has great rhythm and throws herself into it. 

Tom out to work early this morning, Lydia pleasantly surprised me by coming to wake me fully dressed and ready for school. I could have cried. 

Had enough time to wash my hair before Phoebe got up, but then was scuppered by the bike seat post being done up too tight for me to put it down to my height. Managed to squeak to school between first and second bell, but was very shouty about it. Will need to apologise to Lydia later. 

Then off to swimming with Phoebe, doing some admin whilst I waited. Left bike gear in lockers at pool and nipped into the high street to get the last of the autumn socks and a snack. Some Christmas lights for the bike may have fallen in to my basket too...

Home via a cake delivery to the Diaz' to thank them for picking Lydia up today. Tom's mum is away, so they're kindly getting Lydia so I can take Phoebe to her class as it clashes with school pickup. 

Made Phoebe's traditional Wednesday cheesy pasta and sorted out washing whilst she watched a bit of TV. Then made a new Little Red Riding Hood hair band to replace the one that didn't make it home from Halloween at preschool between putting washing away. 

Quick dash to Phoebe's ballet and here I am. Enjoying eavesdropping on the ballet mum's conversation. Southampton being an international city, you get people from all over, and currently someone from somewhere in the Southern hemisphere, I think somewhere in South America, is comparing Christmas tradition notes with someone from Eastern Europe, saying how much they like British Christmas compared to drinks and BBQs at Christmas!

Early night I think tonight before another jam packed day.

Oh, also have been invited to join a LinkedIn live to talk about my experiences of the confidence training. Feel like an imposter but have agreed to do it to practice my skills!

NaBloPoMo 12 intense

Today has felt injuries throughout. 

Phoebe's turn to be grumpy this morning. Lydia managed to get dressed nicely for a change. 

Did school run and rushed back for early call with IT bods working on new starter to talk digital interpretation.

All my lunchtime calls were cancelled so worked on confidence training and Jan/Feb planning, trying to workout all the deadlines to be able to handover to the new hire. Also had 1:1 with one of my reports 

Fisher up at 3:30 to go school for parenting course. Lots of paperwork and homework to track Lydia's tantrums for the week. I walked Lydia home via chemist to get advice about a rash on her face, whilst Tom walked to get Phoebe. Amazing conversation with Lydia covering the Reformation, Restoration Britain, the British political system, the difference between terrorism and activism, all kicked off by her studying Guy Fawkes Night at school.

Tantrums over bread Vs toast but did cold bits out the fridge for tea, worked well being low key and eating together in kitchen. Ended up playing 90s chub bangers to the kids after an ear worm which they enjoyed. Phoebe trying to copy my hand dancing.

Tantrums at bedtime over Lydia not wanting to wash her poorly hands, but got over them. She went to play quietly with her Lego whilst I convinced Phoebe to do a poo and then got her to sleep. 3 stories later a cup of hot milk and a dark room andi managed it. Tom out to home group, so I then got Lydia to sleep via some school reading and a Thomas story 

Then a couple of hours of catching up with work before bed. I've always done my best work between 8pm and midnight. Imogen Heap playlist on tonight for some uni nostalgia.

NaBloPoMo 11

What a wonderfully clear night.

I love winter nights when it is clear and you can see the stars and everything feels crisp and cold.

If I hear high heels tapping down dark streets I'm transported to the anticipation and promise of going out at a student. 

Extremely busy work day. Lydia had 30 min tantrum over not having right PJ's in evening which was wearing for all of us. 

Very happy to be out dancing at my Ceroc modern jive class this week. One of my new (-ish) dancing friends Peter was back this week, so lovely to catch up with him. It's great this year developing a few dance friendships to pass the time with between dances at class or in freestyles. I was really proud of going to a dance weekend this year on my own, and I think the only thing that could get made it better would have been going in a gang of mates. Going to try and keep being friendly to see if I can build that for myself. 

Was the masterclass with Max Rycroft this week, a champion dancer and great teacher. Really enjoyed the content and it's always fun if Max is taking the class. Even managed a dance with him in freestyle without my nerves getting the better of me and falling over like I normally do if I dance with a teacher. 

I'd love to get some feedback on my dancing and improve even more, but not sure how to do that. With the kids it's hard to get to all the workshops. I'm not interested in competing, just becoming the best I can be and giving the leads I dance with a really enjoyable dance!

I'm also loving what dance has been doing to my body positivity/confidence. I've existed in an increasingly large body as I've aged due to PCOS making losing weight difficult. With jive, it's not a performance and I get to enjoy how my body feels in this conversation of dance. Sometimes lyrical, sometimes sexy, sometimes being silly and having fun. It's also made me want to take better physical care of myself, to wear the clothes that make me feel confident and swish on the dancefloor, to wear the make-up that sparkles and catches the light.

Here I am all sparkly at the dance weekend

NaBloPoMo 10

Neck still oddly  aching, might need a chiropractor appointment.

Both girls slept in a bit, which was good after Lydia's late night on Friday. 

Got up and got Lydia dressed and made the rest of her packed lunch for her dance show. Phoebe very upset at me not taking her with me, bit she was right as rain playing with Tom by the time I got home. Dropped Lydia off at the Thornden Hall in Chandlers Ford, today's show venue and missed about how much better the facilities are in suburban schools. 

Stopped on the way home to pick up some flowers for her as I have a core memory of my granny presenting me with flowers after my first ballet show and being very pleased with myself.

Home to tidy up the dining room for lunch. Eunice and Phil arrived about 11:30 and finished up whilst Tom and I sorted out lunch. Coq au vin and pasta today. Left for the show around 1:15 and got there with plenty of time to find our seats.

Lydia's class on third. She did well, remembered to smile a bit, pointed her toes and didn't freak out when someone was stood on her spot. I barely recognised her when they entered, hair all slicked back in a bun and long legs!

Rest of show pretty good, a number of lads in a few classes and a big number of older dancers which is always nice to see. Think that says a lot about the ethos of a school. 

Big scrum to collect kids after, Lydia chuffed with her flowers and wanted to keep her stage makeup on. Tom was called out for work as the show ended, so dropped us home and went off on his job. He's just text at 8pm to say he's moved on to the second one of the night, but still lots of Christmas money. 

Gave the girls doctored leftovers for dinner and we all watched Strictly. Then a busy bathtime as they want to be in together and now trying to get Phoebe to sleep. Hopefully won't take too long as I will need to listen to Lydia read.

NaBloPoMo 9 angst

Woke up late after my late night to a cup of tea from Tom in the hospital, we got back about 12.30am. Lydia has a small buckle fracture. Going through adult A&E to get to x-ray from Paeds was an eye opener, patients on trolleys lining all the corridors.

Helped kids get dressed and then Tom and I began clearing out Lydia's cuddly toys and books. Kids 'helped' and played around us. Got lunch out when everyone started to get fractious. Post lunch went to go to town to pick up Autumn socks for the god-children and Christmas presents I'd ordered. Bikes weren't charged so Tom and I had a rare arguement about that. When we'd eventually calmed down went and got bus into town instead. 

Spent afternoon in West Quay getting all the bits we needed via a afternoon snack in the John Lewis cafe. They really need to sort the acoustics in there, but my scone was great. 

Home again on the bus, kids loving seeing everything all lit up. Soup for tea then bed for the girls via a quick bit of a disco, Lydia practising her ballet show dance and Phoebe giving it large with a Martha Graham style contemporary number in just her tights 😂

After they were asleep, sorted through house jobs with Tom doing a bit of forward planning and then went to see if I could get the smart bit of the car charger to talk to Tom's app on his phone. Which I was partially successful in doing. 

Had to get up in night to take painkillers because the right side of my neck was hurting. Odd dreams all night about dancing 

NaBloPoMo 1 - 8

 I had a sudden urge to blog, to record the fleeting passing of time, the bittersweet sense of the children getting older and the pang in your chest when you look at videos or photos of them as sweet babes.

And so I logged in to Blogger and suddenly realised it's November and I've missed out on NaBloPoMo already! Even though I can't bring myself to blog often, my life being so boring and insignificant these days and having no time to make anything much, I want to still have this annual snapshot of life floating somewhere in the ether.

Here's what we've been up to so far in November,

Friday 1 November 2024

Was on annual leave as it was half-term, looking after Lydia. Finished packing in the morning to go to Tom's mum's for the weekend. Lots of sorting etc to do. Lydia did actually pack her own stuff which is a big achievement. Drive down a nightmare - my period due, very grumpy with everyone, kids being extremely annoying. Got there in time for afternoon snack having left when Tom got home from work with Phoebe at lunch time. Kids played whilst we chatted with Eunice and Phil. Tom's nephew Rich, wife Clair, and kids Riley and Benji arrived not long after, much catching up. Phoebe wouldn't settle at bedtime, but got there in the end. Lydia kept everyone awake all night coughing.

I always feel massive anxiety going to stay with Tom's parents, that the kids will misbehave and I will be judged on my parenting. Need to work on that.

Saturday 2 November 2024

Went to Sherborne Castle to do their pumpkin trail, had lunch at the garden centre there, then went to Minterne House for their Halloween trail - all very low key, but beautiful grounds. Kids all played really nicely together. Gave our kids early tea to prevent them kicking off, and then they stayed up a little bit to have marshmallows on the firepit and watch some fireworks. Very jolly evening dancing around in the barn with the kids with hotdogs and marshamallows. Took Phoebe off to bed, she's such an amenable little soul, hardly any complaining, and then helped with Lydia's bedtime once she came in. Tom to bed early feeling rough, sat up talking with the other grown ups.

Sunday 3 November 2024

Stayed at Eunice and Phil's until kid bedtime, Rich and Claire left after lunch. All took dogs for a walk round the farm, kids played with the horse jumps for a bit. Our girls rode their bikes on the drive in the afternoon whilst I had a chat with Eunice. Got home about 8:30pm, and unpacked some stuff before bed. Lots of washing to do.

Monday 4 November 2024

Working from home today. Phoebe had 8am docs appointment about lump on her neck, Tom had early start in Poole I think so Lydia in breakfast club, then took Managed to get everyone out the house and where they needed to be on time on their own which feels like such an achievement. Docs think lump is post cold lymph nodes, need to go back in a few weeks again if they've not gone down. Busy day at work as I'm covering the Kent portfolio whilst we recruit a vacancy, working on the Christmas press release and some email marketing. Christmas offers sound lovely. Started Upfront Confidence for Women course too - sounds all a bit intense but making an effort. Went to dance in the evening. Pleasant surprise to see one of my dancing friends Darren there as he doesn't go to the Monday class often. Back to bed about 11.30pm.

Tuesday 5 November 2024

Working from home again, morning a bit rougher today but managed to get everyone out. Budget training, lots of meetings about digital, a team meeting, but felt rough all day with the same cold as Tom and the girls. Kids both a nightmare to get to bed.

Wednesday 6 November 2024

Home with Phoebe today. Took her out for swimming this morning after taking Lydia to school. Took car as feeling rough rather than the bike. She did a great job swimming, she loves it. Then went to get some grocery shopping, managed to get some Christmas presents, and home for cheesy pasta which is Phoebe's favourite. I make it for every Wednesday as she and I are the only people who like it in the house. Tom's mum arrived mid afternoon, and spent some time playing with Phoebe. I had a HUGELY productive day housework wise, got washing on, washing up done, putting shopping away, making lunch and getting dinner ready and so on. Big win for me as I really struggle with getting things done. Tom's mum got Lydia from school and I took Phoebe to ballet on the bike. It's so helpful that she comes to help like this on a Wednesday as Phoebe wouldn't be able to go to ballet without it, as the times don't work out with school pick up. Brought her home and had tea together, then did Phoebe bedtime whilst Eunice did Lydia's. Chatted to Eunice in the evening whilst doing the ironing as I wanted to alter a dress and needed to press it. 

Thursday 7 November 2024

Working from home again, lots of meetings, trying to get content out the door, feeling dreadful, had afternoon nap. Went to bed after kids went to bed. 

Friday 8 November

Working from home again, got Phoebe to bring her clothes up to our room and dressed her from my bed, then went back to bed till it was time to take Lydia to school. Feeling a bit more human today. Worked on forward planning and confidence course today. Wrapped up to take Lydia to swimming, managed to slam her fingers in the car door on the way home, so currently still in A&E at 22:25 having arrived at 19:20 on the advice of NHS 111. We're both bored and tired...