Sunday, July 29, 2007

More running down....

For the rest of this week, in between working fairly hard, I have been keeping very busy and all sorts of things.

Firstly counselling. I appear to be making quite a lot of progress. I have been assessing my feeling regarding my relationship with Rob, and my low self esteem issues. I have moved from guilt to anger, which is apparently a good thing, and I've made some realisations about myself. One is that the problem does not always lay with me. My low self esteem makes me think the problem is always with me, when it could be other people, and I have to work out a way of assessing and coping with that. The other thing is that I'm often accused of being fickle, changeable and shallow, changing my character for the people I'm with. However in light of the above issues, I've come to realise that I'm not necessarily changing my character at all, and its not a problem with me. My character is just fluid, and I have many complex parts that I reveal to different people as I see fit. That was a big deal for me. Other people may have a problem with it, but that's just me.

Anyway other things....

Andy and I went pubbing on Tuesday and caught up on the weeks events.

Wednesday my boss lent me her copy of the latest Harry Potter book. Wednesday then was LOTS of reading, and a review of that will follow as well. In simple and shorter term, I found it much better written than the last two, much darker, and the fight scenes were really exciting and pacey. Wednesday was also a really pleasant evening at the cinema with Nick, enjoying the Orange Wednesdays deal of 2-4-1 cinema tickets for Orange mobile owners. We appeared to be the only people left out of our group of friends who'd stayed in Southampton, wanted to see the Harry Potter film, and not yet seen it. That meant of course, we saw Harry Potter and giggled together at bits other people didn't seem to find funny, and dissected the quality of the film making on the drive home. Nick also valiantly jump started the car of a poor couple who'd run down their battery.

Thursday was exciting for me! I started a mini revolution at work, mentioning that I was going late night shopping in Southampton with Tom. Half the office decided to take advantage of the late night opening too, and we spent Friday morning discussing our purchases. I abused Primark, sent happy thoughts to the poor people in Chinese or Bangladeshi sweatshops who probably worked so hard for so little to make my cheap clothes and shopped. I bought a yellow shirt dress, a beige dress with a jewel toned floral pattern, sunglasses and a belt. The beige dress is for my Uncle's 50th birthday party as I have to look quite smart and grown up for it. Tom then whisked me off to the big 24 hour Tescos so I could get some groceries having no food in the house, and we ate a picnic supper watching the yachts at Hamble. I love the sound of the masts clanking like slightly off note bells in breeze.

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