Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Fear

If nature, silence and writing are the ways to make you feel happier and more at peace, then that's what I'm going to try.

Maybe gardening is the ultimate combination of silence and nature? Certainly our garden needs some attention, tidying up the debris from the last tidying session that we've left in the centre of the garden. I've found that each evening as I peer into the miniature plastic green house my spirits rise slightly. There are the tiny plants I planted in trays sat on the kitchen doorstep in the dark in early March. It's probably time to move them to larger pots.

Silence is so hard to come by. Work surrounds me with chattering, and life has not time for it. In my silence yesterday I could hear all my hearts cries pounding with every breath and pulse. It was an odd prayer session, with God being very present, and I having so much to say to him, over and over again. I wasn't sure if I was talking to God or if God was talking to me.

And here I am writing...

Things haven't been so good for me this last week. Fear of life, and my future, have been intruding in what was a happy existence. I wonder how one can ever be sure of anything? How can we be sure of God's salvation? How can be sure that we've chosen the right thing to do?

Posted via email from Alex E Jones

1 comment:

Mel said...

I've asked similar questions. I don't think you can be sure.

When I asked God how I could be sure that it is him talking to me, he said that I just have to trust that it is- logically speaking, there is no way of proving that it is God speaking to me.

In the same way, you cannot be sure about anything. You have to trust God and trust yourself. That may take time.

Matthew 6:34
Proverbs 3:5-6

Hugs and prayers,
Mel