Radvent 2: Self Worth
1. Consider the origins of your self-worth. Think about when you feel self-conscious or less worthy as a person, and what context that is usually in. How can you increase the sources of your self-worth and diversify the sources you can pull strength from when you do occasionally feel down?
I measure my worth through my performance. Am I achieving? I think this comes from being a first child, being praised for my marks at school, rather than being praised for the hard work. The little sisters are much better at this than I. I work in a field where success is easily measured and demonstrable.
I feel most self concious when I think I am failing. I also feel often that I am being judged, and the opions of others matter to me.
I am working on taking my worth from my inherant value as a human, as all humans are equal and worth something, especially to God. I am also working on taking my value from my usefulness rather than my performance. Being there for a friend, creating something beautiful all have value.
2. Consider a compliment you received recently.
Lots of people have been very complimentary about my new hair cut. Vain, but pleasing. In taking small risks with my appearance, I hope to help teach myself that playing it safe is boring, and that it is worth trying something that may go wrong. I normally try and avoid situations where I might fail.
4. Realize you affect others.
I have noticed that lots of people have started asking me for advice. I don't claim to have my life sussed or sorted. But I am good at listening, and I've made a concious decision to be open and honest, and not to stand any nonsense. This seems to have led to me having an affect on others. I hope I can inspire them to note their own instrict value, and to love themselves a little more. We all need more love.
Radvent 3: Compilation
1.Make a greatest hits list for your year
Here are my songs for the year. Songs that I have jived to, songs I have sung to in the car, songs I have cried to and songs that have inspired me. Can you guess which are which?
2. Audit your life playlist. Consider how the media you consume but maybe don’t even think about makes you uncomfortable. Does it perpetuate standards you don’t agree with? Once in a while I think we have to check this because bad media habits are so easy to form.
I have been becoming more aware of the marginalisation of women in society this year. Not one to notice lyrics, being more of a music and rhythm girl, I have found myself becoming uncomfortable with song lyrics that promote the oppression of women in some way. Sometimes the music is still too infectious to ignore, like the Bellowhead track above, but I have been editing what I listen to.
I have also found myself taking a break from listening to lots of news. I used to listen to Radio 4 all the time whilst driving, but the relentless news coming through so often found me worrying about things I cannot change. I'd rather focus my worrying.
Radvent 4: Sincerely
Let someone know how they’ve made a difference to you.
You make a difference to me everyday. Your food fills my belly and adds pounds and curves, some of which I relish. Your influence and dose of cynicism makes me want to change the world. Your calming presence and insistence I rest from time to time have improved my mental health. And knowing you love me and support me have improved my condfidence.
Ben, Laura, Jon, John, Hannah, Sandy and Marmers
This year I know what it means to have a community around me who loves me and wants to help no matter what again, just like when I was at Chaplaincy.
I can't say thank you enough. I love you all very much, and I want you all to tell me how I can love you back. You make a difference by physically showing up.
Mel, Ian, Andy, Jess, Cecil, Amey, Jo, Sarah, George, Holly, Nikki.
I love that you love me enough to keep in touch no matter how far apart we are.
Mum and Dad, you influence me everyday when I remember the outrageous radical hospitality you show people. Nothing is ever too much trouble. Thank you.
Rich and Clair and Riley.
I love having family that's my age. I love that I can talk to you about anything. You influence me by showing me how things can carry on no matter what, that family is important no matter how oddly shaped it is. And you give me hope.