..please note, not thoughts on getting married. I'll save those for a new post. These are thoughts on the having the party bit.1. Just get on with it.You're never going to be rich enough, thin enough, your family stopping arguing enough to "get married". You can have a beautiful wedding on a small budget that will feel fantastic as your friends and family will be there. If you really want to be married get on with it, and...2. Focus on the things that are important to you.For me and Tom that was the ceremony, and the food. As we did have a small budget, we spent most of our money on these things, and worked out ways to save money on everything else. We also switched around the traditional UK style wedding byt doing it the way they do it in Normandy in France where Tom's dad lives. The church part was the most important thing to us, so everyone was invited to this bit, and then we had a tea and cake reception with champagne and wedding cake and speeches for all church guests. Then we had a smaller meal in the evening with family and closest friends. This meant we could have the big ceremony, and the really good food without spending the equivalent of a house deposit!3. Plan everything, get a good team, then give it away.I made sure I planned everything in lots of detail, and asked lots of friends and family to help out on the day. Once we got to the week of the wedding, I could relax knowing that the whole wedding team knew exactly what needed doing, and on the day they were AMAZING, and I didn't have to worry about a thing.4. It is is nerve wracking.
Before the wedding, I was very nervous, but once you get down the aisle you'll be fine.5. Reflect you and your partner.
Whilst the overall look of our wedding was fairly traditional, we threw in lots of things that reflected us as a couple. Beer and Hymns during the signing of the register like Beer and Hymns at Greenbelt, Chaplaincy and SCM. Green shoes. Having our uni chaplain marry us and give the sermon. Me doing a speech. Not being given away, but asking our families to accept a new daughter and son. Asking everyone to wear hats.and the day felt amazing.We didn't throw my bouquet or have table plans, because well it felt odd to us... and so on!6. Call in all favours.
We had friends make cakes, a friend design the stationery, gran making dresses, and so on and so forth. People like to be asked to be involved, and everything feels more special when its made with love. However...7.Know your limitations.
I did a floristry course whilst I was engaged and toyed with the idea of doing my own wedding flowers. Except I realised I wouldn't want the hassle of making up my bouquet the morning of my wedding, and so hired a florist. Somethings are definately best left in the hands of the professionals!In a similar vein, we were going to get caterers in the church hall to do the meal, but it was so much easier to go to the restuarant, and not have to worry about the washing up.8. Make space in the day.
Tom and I went off to have some couples photos done whilst our family was going off to the meal at the end of the church reception. It was nice to have my new husband to myself for a bit for a quiet catch up and a breather.9. Remember it's only a day.
There were times where the whole thing stressed me out enormously. And what kept me going was that it's only a day. A fabulous lovely nice day. But a day in the rest of your life which you will spend with this special person. So sometimes I'd stop doing wedding things and we'd do something else.