Thursday, May 17, 2007

All good things must come to an end.

Another ending


Its always this time of year. Chris just ended our realtionship. After we'd been to the gym together. I asked if he'd been being solitary becasue he'd been stressed with his work or for another reason. He said he didn't look forward to spending time with me anymore because I made him miserable, felt that I needed someone who could understand my huge outpourings of emotion, and because I was selfish in the relationship and not supportive enough of him when he had problems even though he had dealt with all mine.

I was good. Considering I thought everything was great, was loving being with him and enjoying every minute, I was shocked. I didn't cry, I calmly asked if we could try and sort it out, why he'd not told me earlier so I could try and sort things then, and asked if we could try again after the exams when we have more time to do fun and enjoyable stuff together. He said I'd be hiding bits of myself rather than being myself if I tried to change, and just wanted to be free. I collected my things from his house. Laughed and joked about it. Asked if we could be friends becasue I still want him in my life. Told his housemates it was over.

Then I sobbed all the way home.

I feel like I've been lied to all this time. But I want him to be happy, and if not being my boyfriend will make him happy, then its more loving to let him go than to try and keep him. I really hope we can be friends in the future, because I really do care about him. Really care. Besides he's great fun.

It was always going to be too good to be true. I don't regret it at all. He was so gorgeous and out of my league. I was always going to drive him mad with my neediness. He was always going to be too emotionally detached for some one like me.

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