NaBloPoMo 29 & 30

29 Nov

Tom sleeping off last night, so took Lydia to preschool. Home to feed Phoebe, then coffee with Hetty, my mum's goddaughter who is in her first year studying law at Southampton. Don't think I've seen her since she was a small girl. Channelled my mother and rustled up plenty of small talk out of thin air. The gift of the gab or blagging. Offered use of my washing machine, proper home cooked dinner. The usual.

Then much needed chiropractor appointment. Tom off today so he and Martin arrived to look after Phoebe. Feel sore but in a better way today. Still not used to the crunches and cracks. Really need to find time to squeeze in my exercises.

Lunch with the boys at Diego's Rotisserie, very nice, not been there before. Went halves on a skewer of prawns and sea bream with Tom. Phoebe charmed the wait staff.

Home to feed Phoebe then off to the Christmas tree farm near Hinton Ampner for a car load of offcuts for £20. Absolute bargain, stopped to get extra wreath base on the way home.

Leftover lamb and mushroom stroganoff for tea, then made a fascinator for the baptism out of some red ribbon. Not sure about it.

30 Nov

Phoebe up very early for milk, then got Lydia dressed. Tom sorted her breakfast whilst I got ready to go. Lydia chose all Christmas things for Phoebe, very cute if a bit early. Squeezed her into the 3-6 elf outfit from my mum, don't think it will fit by Christmas!.

Off to the 16 week jabs. Receptionists and nurse all very taken with festive Phoebe. Jabs went fine, in a change since Lydia you give 3 lots of Calpol as standard after the meningitis jabs now. Makes for much happier babies.

Tom's mum had arrived by the time I got back, off to climbing for her and Lydia again. Another feed for Phoebe and then I went to collect some shopping I'd ordered and to take some food and clothes to someone from one of the free FB groups.

Home to lunch of cold bits with mum and Lydia, then a walk to the baker for bread, and cakes to eat in the park. Phoebe mainly asleep in the carrier. Quick play in the playground before Granny needed to leave to get back to the  puppies. Tom arrived home just as we got back and started dinner. TV for Lydia and another Phoebe feed. 

Went to feed Phoebe lying down as back hurting. Tea at 5.15 ish when Martin got back, pork and lentil Curry with paratha.

I did Phoebe bedtime, need to pack car for ballet, swimming and seeing Ellie, Andy and Aoife, lateral flow tests willing.

And that's the end of NaBloPoMo for this year. Feels like another small insular year. 

NaBloPoMo 28: cosy

Lydia in really really for a cuddle after Phoebe woke really really for milk. Tom got Lydia dressed before heading out for the day as he was on call.

Bit of TV time after breakfast to catch up on Strictly whilst Phoebe had second breakfast. Lydia and I liked John and Johannes' Argentine tango with the 'lucky legs' 

Then chores time. Lydia helped unload the dishwasher a bit, and hang up washing a bit, and clean lay the table for lunch a bit, not bad for a 3 year old. Shout out to Martin for washing up and keeping an eye on Lydia whilst I squeezed a shower and cleaned the bathroom to a cursory level. Phoebe bounced in her bouncy chair whilst I scrubbed grout and enjoyed watching the dirt rinse away.

Made chocolate cup cakes with Lydia, she revelled in using the electric whisk and spooning out mixture all by herself whilst I kept stopping to feed or change Phoebe. Came out really nicely.

After a bit of a haphazard lunch of cold bits out the fridge due to Lydia being a bit testing and lateral flow tests all round, we took the cakes to Jon and Hannah's. Jasper had asked when 'my Lydia' could come and play again after Wednesday. Very cute.

An afternoon of kids playing relatively nicely together followed suit whilst grownups drank tea and babies fed and were passed around. Life almost felt normal for a bit. I love having some friends with kids a similar age to ours, it's so nice to be able to socialise regularly without fear of being judged for what your kids are doing.

Tom made it back to join us for most of the afternoon with a short break to take a generator in Fair Oak off supply. Fairly busy on call for him after the storms,  he's only been back on call a few times since moving back to networks after a stint in contacting, and most of those have been quiet. Delicious roast lamb for tea.

Home after tea with a grumpy Phoebe ready for bed. Boys did Lydia's bedtime whilst I sorted Phoebe, Tom back out on call after Lydia in bed. Watched Strictly results with Martin about 830 when Phoebe done feeding, put washing on, and sorted out clean washing.

Enjoyed Phoebe's little grins today and her face of joy when I alternately kiss her cheeks very quickly or nom her cheeks.

NaBloPoMo 26 and 27

Tom took Lydia to nursery whilst I sorted Phoebe, tried to do Pilates and failed as Phoebe needed feeding right at Pilates time. Read tweet from Ireland account that reminded me to check if Irish Foreign Birth registrations are open, which they are with a two year backlog. So took some pictures of Phoebe for her British passport application. Couldn't find my passport which meant I needed to attempt the filing pile to find it.

After breakfast, eventually got dressed, went up to church to do the advent wreath. Happily Jenny was there setting up for the quiet day, so she played with Phoebe whilst I worked which saved some time. Need to go cut some more Holly for wreath making too. Fed Phoebe before I left.

Went and got bread and posted out the godchildrens' autumn socks at last. Got soaked in the rain so went and had my free cup of tea at Mbuntu and fed Phoebe, as I won a years free tea earlier in the year. They're not open in the mornings so I don't get much chance to make use of it.

Tom had been to collect Martin and Lydia, we all arrived home at pretty much the same time. Had a late lunch of cheese and crackers all round then went shopping as we had nothing but cheese in the fridge. Lydia ate her tea in the car, had short Friday night disco before kids bed, nice to dance with Martin. 

Started the filing before bed, made good progress.

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Very windy in the night, Lydia woken up twice by the wind. Phoebe woke up earlyish, fed her until Lydia came in at 730. Got everyone dressed, breakfasted then off to the Vyne.

Had to change Phoebe's nappy in car park before we went in. Weather cold wet and miserable, some sleet and snow. Phoebe wrapped up in snow suit and waterproof cover on carrier. Went straight to house and briskly went round looking at Christmas trees. Had to feed Phoebe again at the chapel then again in the tea room. Sausage rolls, pasties hot chocolate and cakes all round. Then a brief walk around the garden before home. 

Tom and Martin made fish pie whilst I fed Phoebe and hung some washing up, and Lydia had some telly and crafting time. Baths for both girls after tea. Will finish the filing when I put Phoebe to bed. 

NaBloPoMo 24 and 25

Phoebe up super early, I went back to bed for a once Lydia sorted. Tom off work yesterday due to having minor surgery. Took Lydia to swimming, Tom took her in whilst I fed Phoebe.

Took Tom to docs at Chandler's Ford at lunchtime, Lydia and I played in park till we got cold, bought hot chocolate to warm up, which Lydia loved.

Home to drop Tom off to rest, then got Lydia ready for ballet. After her class, took her to play at Jon and Hannah's and have her tea whilst I went to parents evening at nursery, nursery very pleased with her progress. Likes playing babies and with dolls, crafts and playing in the garden. Next steps are to work on sharing and writing the letters of her name.

Late difficult bedtime all, I got very shouty.

Today, had to wake Lydia at 7, but she got dressed without too much struggle, then got Phoebe and myself dressed and drove Lydia to preschool. 

Home to make Tom some breakfast, got some washing on. Fed Phoebe. Had abortive attempt to take Tom to Andover to see his dad, realised we didn't have enough time and Phoebe was screaming for milk. Had meltdown about feeling like a failure at being an adult on way back and had a big cry when we got in.

Once Phoebe fed and changed, left her in her bouncer near Tom so he could entertain her whilst I hung up washing and put more on. Emptied bins. Sorted out one bag of clothes to give away. Made Tom some lunch.

Went to swimming, Phoebe went under the water 4 times today. 

After swimming picked up Tom and went to see Jon and Hannah for a chat. Cut lots of greenery from their shrubs for making the advent wreath tomorrow. 

Picked Lydia up on way home, Tom went to see his dad, played with Lydia making silly faces with my camera app then bedtime. She was really sad so cheerrd her up with my Barry the Badger hot water bottle cover.

NaBloPoMo 23: nothing much

Phoebe awake at 530, fed her in bed until Lydia came in. Tom got her dressed and have gave her a croissant whilst I sorted Phoebe. 

Tried to put some clothes away before Tom's mum came, but only really managed to have my own breakfast and put the tumble dryer on. 

Tom's mum took Lydia to preschool climbing club again, apparently she enjoyed herself and was braver than before. 

Lots of feeding for Phoebe, didn't manage to do anything else before they came back for lunch.

Went to Deepdene or helicopter park as Lydia calls it all together after lunch with Phoebe in the carrier. Very involved imaginative game from Lydia about being a coastguards helicopter pilot.

Home for hot drinks and snacks, more feeding and playing. Tom's mum left early, as they're housetraining their puppies, just as Tom came home.

Trains for Tom and Lydia whilst I started dinner of leftover roast lamb curry around feeding Phoebe.

Feeling very washed out today.

NaBloPoMo 22 and 23

So busy yesterday I didn't get to writing. First breakfast of pastries for kids, then cooked breakfast for grownups. Lots of playing and a walk to the park, all organised chaos. Huge shout out to John and Adele who kept on top of the washing up all day, much appreciated. Tom roasted some hogget for lunch with a Persian spice rub, an absolute triumph.

Everyone left mid afternoon then Lydia watched a bit of TV whilst we tidied up a bit and I fed Phoebe. Leftovers for tea and a bit of Christmas planning.

Today I've made lasagna for Ellie and Andy around Phoebeing whilst watching the 'An Audience with Adele' and catching up with Strictly. Then drove over to Totton to deliver the lasagna, and took some tins of pilchards to my granny that my mum had left for her at Ellie's. Also took home a load of vintage bonnets to try on Phoebe for the christening.

Phoebe very happy and smiley today and had a good old play with the pram toys whilst I was cooking, carefully bringing things to her mouth to explore now she can grab things.

NaBloPoMo 20: friends

After an evening of takeaway and sharing wine, life almost felt normal when I went to bed last night. Even did my trick of getting all the breakfast things out the night before like I used to.

Up early with all the children, pastries and Jess' cinnamon rolls all round.

Then off to Town Quay for a day trip on the Hythe Ferry and electric train on the pier, a perfect day out for all the transport fans. Got to see all the big cruise ships and containers ships whilst we were on the water and the Queen Mary 2 was on her way out whilst we came home. 

We lunched at Seashells on Hythe High Street which also had good views of the water and excellent food, and was relatively child friendly. Also had a fun run around in the memorial gardens and on the waterfront.

Home for tea and cake and a pickybits tea for the children then extensive cheese board and chocolate for the adults after kid bedtime. The chaps planned their next Bradshaw trip, think they're off to Norfolk next summer. 

NaBloPoMo 19: honoured

Everyone woke up late this morning where Tom didn't have to go to work for to annual leave to take his dad back to the opticians. I fed Phoebe then raced around getting Lydia and myself dressed. Pijamas and spotty clothes for Children in Need for Lydia today. She wore her giraffe pijs and I put her hair up in space buns to look like girrafe ossicones which she liked.

I took Lydia up to preschool as Tom was still getting dressed and he got Phoebe ready. When I got back, he was getting breakfast for everyone so I had some toast and did my lateral flow test then packed the car to go and see Ellie, Andy and Aoife. Inevitably Phoebe did a huge poo then wanted feeding as I tried to get out the door. 

An hour later than I planned, made it to Waitrose, abandoned all thoughts of going to multiple shops to keep prices down and bought some supplies for us, Ellie and Tom's dad, then walked down the road to get some bits from Boots for Ellie. Phoebe was all smiles till the end of my shopping trip when she needed a sleep and got grumpy.

She did eventually sleep while I raced her up and down Portswood High Street and in the car on the way over to Totton.

At Ellie and Andy's, Andy helped me unload all the bits and bobs, then I did exactly as my mum did for me with my babies, making tea, sending them to rest, making snacks, cuddling Aoife and sorting bits out. I was also honoured to be asked by Ellie for some advice on breastfeeding. Helping my sister with feeding was a 'woah the great continuum of women' moment, the almost holy feeling of passing on millennia old knowledge. 

Aoife is an absolute fairy child and feels so tiny compared to the giant babies I grow, even though she's a nice average weight. I got some lovely cuddles and told her we are going to be best buddies. It feels very special to have Andy and Ellie nearby whilst we have our children. I always thought I'd move away from home and have my own adventures, content with seeing family at Christmas or similar, but especially since having Lydia, and since the pandemic, all I want to do really is see my family. I hope the girls enjoy having a cousin so close and we all play together.

Tom had been ringing me to try and arrange handover of his Dad's shopping but I was distracted. When he got through, he'd sweetly decided to buy dad's shopping again and leave me to it. Most of it was store cupboard stuff so it doesn't matter if he has it twice. He went to pick up Lydia and then took her to take his dad back home.

I went home when Andy's mum arrived, got myself some lunch on the way home, and tried to unpack the shopping a bit and prep some tea for Lydia before Phoebe needed a big feed.

When Lydia and Tom got home, we had Friday night disco after Lydia had her tea which was so much fun. We also prepped rooms for friends to stay in as the Treharnes and John and Adele were coming for a Bradshaw write up weekend. 

Jon and Adele arrived around 8pm and we had tasty Indian takeaway for dinner and the Treharnes arrived about 9pm

NaBloPoMo 18: nothing much

Adorably, Andy phoned at bedtime to check if you needed the heating on all night with a new baby. It made me feel very special to be asked.

I got up with Phoebe and fed her this morning, Tom got Lydia dressed. Did Lydia's hair in 'fountains on the side of my head' as requested. Tom took her to preschool whilst I finished Phoebe's feed.

Then off to church to meet Anna who runs the running community to talk through some Comms things.

Back home to feed and change Phoebe then off to swimming for us. She seemed to enjoy today, was busy watching everything, and only was a little bit sick right at the end of class. She didn't cry too much whilst I changed her either.

Went into Shirley after to pick up some Milk for Jon and Hannah, then on to theirs for a cup of tea and sensory time for the babies. They had out the load of baby toys they'd been given from a friend clearing out and Phoebe did a good amount of tummy time.

Home just about in time for my counselling lecture, counsellor was flustered because his computer crashed just as he was calling me. Only useful think I learnt was the difference between a flashback and an intrusive thought. I'm wondering if I'd be better off finding some private psychotherapy as I want to talk to someone about my thoughts and feelings rather than be taught coping mechanisms, which I already knew and mostly used. 

Walked up to collect Lydia from preschool after this, Tom had gone to collect his dad from a cataract operation. Stuck a hivis vest on the buggy hood as it was completely dark when I was walking up. Took a while to walk back as we stopped for Lydia to finish her snack and Phoebe needed a feed. Tom rang to see where we were just as we were at the front door. 

Bit of playing with Lydia before bed, then we had some Beef Bourgogne for dinner and tried to convince Tom's dad to sleep on the sofa bed but he insisted he wanted to sleep in a chair. 

NaBloPoMo 17: busy

Woke up with Tom's alarm of 6:45 and fed Phoebe, Lydia came in for a cuddle. Tom got her dressed and took her down for breakfast whilst I sorted Phoebe out.

Had breakfast myself whilst sorting many bags out for going out for the day. The plan was dentist, walk, swimming, walk, ballet. Pretty much nailed it but I'm knackered now.

Left early for the dentist as Tom had said traffic was bad, but got there in good time. Lydia's teeth all fine, she did a great job and was thrilled with her sticker.

Stopped for snack time and fed Phoebe on the common then had a bit of a walk about, enjoying the autumn sunshine and trying to catch leaves. Which she actually managed once. Saw squirrels and birds too.

 Shame about the dog that ran up to Lydia from behind when she'd walked on a little ahead of me and tried to jump up and lick her face. She was petrified but unhurt and it took all my of strength to stay calm and reassure her after. It was mere seconds, but felt like a lifetime as I tried to run to her with Phoebe strapped to me. The owner tried calling the dog off whilst running to intervene too, and I was like' no just get your dog' in my head. They did the classic 'he's just trying to be friendly, we have kids at home' and his partner did stop to check we were ok. But dog owners, please put your dogs on leads in public places, even on the Common. My kid is not the problem, she was just minding her own business dancing and singing to the falling leaves. 

We chatted about what happened and how she felt scared, and to stop and turn her back on the dog if it happens again. And she was inevitably very scared of any dogs walking past after. I don't particularly like dogs myself, but am able to grab a dog collar and put it away from me now if they're jumping up after years of practice.

We had picnic lunch in the car after that, then went on to swimming. We were a bit early there too, so I let Lydia shower extensively before the lesson and changed Phoebe's nappy to fill some time. Fed Phoebe whilst waiting. Lydia did well in her lesson, and then I got her changed into her ballet things. 

After that, I was gasping for a hot drink, so we went to Portswood and had a hot chocolate and a babyccino in the garden at Trago Lounge, fed Phoebe, and used their baby change and loos. Lydia loved this, going to a cafe is such a big treat for her.

Then it was off to ballet. Which she enjoyed too, and I had a natter to other ballet mums. 

Home by 5pm. Tom did cold bits for Lydia's tea whilst I unpacked bags and fed Phoebe. 

Am giving Phoebe another bedtime feed as she had one at 7 and settled for a bit before being grumpy. 

Laura's here now to help us clear out stuff.

NaBloPoMo: art

 Lydia only up once in the night - bit better!

Woke up at 6:45am to Phoebe grinning at me. So cute! She'd weed through her night nappy so had to completely strip her and the cradle before her feed. She was starving so wrapped her up in a blanket over her nappy to feed her. I soaked through my PJ top with milk whilst trying to get her changed so I was topless too for our feed, accidental skin to skin time. Good job having a baby on your lap is like hugging a hot water bottle. Spent a lot of time all morning praying and anxiously checking my phone to see if my sister Ellie had had her baby, as we'd been texting yesterday and last night as she went through a long labour.

Lydia came in for a cuddle for a bit, then I got her dressed whilst Tom sorted Phoebe's outfit. Lydia had her hair in little plaits today, which looked adorable. Then downstairs for breakfast, pancakes again. I was looking after both girls today as Tom's mum is having a well deserved holiday. I did the world's smallest amount of washing up and sorted bags ready to go out whilst Lydia played and had a bit of TV time, then fed Phoebe, who had been having a kick and play whilst I worked.

Next up we tried to get out the house to go to the art gallery. Lydia has really been enjoying the Mister Maker's Arty Party programme so I thought we'd go to art gallery and have a look about. I have so many happy memories of going to the gallery as a kid whilst my gran worked there as a gallery attendant. My favourites are dancing about in front of the hidden camera that fed a TV in a filing cabinet in some installation, advising fashion students from Solent Uni or the Institute as it was then that putting 'Blue with a Black Border' on a hat was going to be easier than copying something figurative and gaily being sat there copying a painting when some bloke came to tell me I was doing a good job. Turns out it was the artist of the work in in question though I forget who!

However just as I was pulling off the drive, a warning light came on in the car for the engine coolant, so we had to go to get some of that first. Whilst Tom was ordering what I needed, I changed Phoebe's nappy and took an extremely happy video call from my brother and sister-in-law to show me that my first niece, baby Aoife Hope had safely arrived. I was completely overwhelmed with emotion as I'd been so worried for them, and was also up to my elbows in poo which made for quite a short but funny phone call full of happy tears. She is absolutely beautiful, and they are all currently doing well but are very tired understandably. Lydia was so excited too, and wanted to video call them but I convinced her to do a video message instead so as not to disturb them, in which she told them she loved the her name, so sweet.

Got the coolant, filled the car up with it, and it was lunch time already, so went to IKEA first for some lunch in their cafe and to pick up some photo frames. Was much busier than I expected, but managed to steer clear of most people and Lydia was amazing about wearing her mask. She had chicken nuggets and chips and I had a prawn open sandwich and some salmon, followed by donuts. Think Lydia ate most of mine though! It was really nice to have a positive time with Lydia. She does love a cafe lunch. Phoebe amenably slept through all this.

Then we walked up to the gallery. I'd forgotten how far it was for little legs but Lydia managed admirably. Where we weren't in a rush, I let her kick all the leaves and walk on all the walls. Something I used to do around the civic centre too as a kid. Once we arrived Phoebe had woken up and was a bit grumpy, so we went to get the baby change/disabled loo key from the library. Phoebe was dry, but Lydia and I both needed to loo. Top town centre tip that, the loos in the art gallery are nice and clean!

 Turns out Phoebe was hungry, so I worked out a way to kind of feed in her the carrier, advanced parenting skill unlocked there. We had a quick look around the gallery at 3 year old speed. Her favourites were the one with the elephant dung and one of a man in a fedora hat. I had a speed read of the interpretation of the Arthur Jeffress exhibition, which was very interesting, would like to go back and look in more detail.

Phoebe needed a proper feed, so on the way back from the gallery, we stopped in the Millvina Dean memorial garden for a sit down and a snack. It was a great place to stop for a little while, Lydia was entertained by finding conkers and the traffic going by. 

We went back to the car via Asda so I could buy Lydia her 'well done for completing your sticker chart for good behaviour' comic. She chose a Paw Patrol one this time with a plastic tat spy kit, she was very taken with it. Lydia also adorably insisted we needed to buy Aoife a cuddly toy, so we chose her a nice soft rabbit comforter. Found a lonely IKEA trolley all the way up by Decathlon on our way back to the car, so gratefully took my rucksack off and stuck it on the trolley and put Lydia in the child seat, which saved my back a bit. I'm suffering now from carrying all 7.5kg of Phoebe all day.

The parking machines at IKEA were on the blitz so our parking was free for the day which was a pleasant surprise. Home for a bit more TV time for Lydia whilst I had a cup of tea and sit down and Tom made dinner. Bacon, crispy kale and roast veg warm salad for tea. Then playing with both Lydia and Phoebe and sticking my pictures in picture frames before the girls bedtime. Phoebe had missed the 5pm nap so was very grumpy just before bed, and has gone to sleep on a very lumpy mattress where I was trying to get the foam filling into the freshly washed and barely dry cover whilst she cried.

Have been helping a friend with a job application this evening since, and then hopped on here to write up. Bed time very soon. Am so happy and excited for my sister and brother in law. They are such lovely, kind, generous people and they are going to make wonderful parents. 

NaBloPoMo 15: extended family

Lydia up in the night about 4 times. I kind of love the way she comes to find me and snuggles up right into me, fitting perfectly somehow, even though she's all arms and legs now. She wraps herself around my neck almost fiercely, not really awake and soon fast asleep again.

All of us woke up properly with the sunshine alarm clock at 645am. Lots of milk for Phoebe, Lydia very sad that the pants she wanted didn't exist. Managed to get Phoebe to lie looking at her mobile, so went to help Tom with Lydia. She calmed down eventually. And apparently was much more with it once she'd eaten a pancake whilst he took her to nursery.

Got dressed slowly around sorting Phoebe out, then had my NHS counselling/guided self help call at 9am. Overall I'm feeling way more positive mood wise, so we looked at ways to manage letting go of the intrusive thoughts and worries. I'm at my best when I've seen people, and I've been focusing on making that happen. Along side the scary 'What if?' type thoughts, I've realised that I've missed having opportunities I got with Lydia to show Phoebe off and get positive feedback on how cute she is and my parenting. This is probably one of the reasons I love seeing family so much at the moment as they tend to coo at the baby and be really positive about her, which makes me feel more positive.

After going shopping in the morning to get the bits I didn't pick up at the weekend, I dropped the food back home and went on to see my grandparents and then my aunt and uncle. They all cooed beautifully over the baby, and my grandparents were on great form after having been knocked for six by health issues in recent months. Thinking about the kind person who offered to unload my shopping into my car because I had Phoebe in the carrier.

Ran some errands for my brother in law on the way home, then home to do bedtime for both girls. Feeding Phoebe to sleep at the moment. 

NaBloPoMo 14: family

Phoebe woke at 5ish for milk. Lydia came into our room asking for help with getting clothes out. Think she'd forgotten my parents were here, was surprised when my mum put her head round the door to say good morning.

Packed Lydia and Mum off downstairs to have breakfast, tried to go back to bed but Phoebe wanted feeding non stop. Got up for loo and breakfast at 830. Lydia and my mum were putting up her toy tent in the garden.

Had breakfast with Dad then went and showered and got dressed. Dad was doing cafe church on Zoom this morning, spent rest of morning playing with mum Lydia and Phoebe whilst Tom made roast beef for lunch. Had quick walk round the block en masse to try and get Phoebe to nap but she was having none of it. 

Tried again after lunch on a walk to the park and she did actually drop off and stay asleep from about 3 to 6,  having all her naps in one go today. Mum and dad went home not long after the park after a cup of tea. Was so nice to spend time with them. We had fun telling Tom all the food we wanted him to cook for Christmas. My dad was clearly in a lot of pain with his back though.

Lydia had sandwiches for tea, then we did a spot of facepainting and she had a bath. Phoebe bath time after and I got to read Lydia both her bedtime stories. It's 8:30 now and Phoebe's just fed to sleep. Heating up some leftovers for my tea.

NaBloPoMo 13: breathe

So I went to sleep after Phoebe's bedtime feed last night and almost missed the dream feed too, Tom had to wake me when he came up to do it! Clearly I needed sleep.

Both girls slept in a bit this morning. Lydia not massively keen on getting dressed but got there in the end by getting her to choose both mine and Phoebe's clothes. Lydia wanted pancakes for breakfast so humoured her whilst Tom was getting Phoebe changed. Inevitably Phoebe wanted milk so I fed her with one hand and got Lydia to do more of the cooking whilst I supervised. Fortunately Phoebe went to sleep pretty quickly as it was 830am and first nap of the day time, and I was able to finish cooking the pancakes by the time Tom came down from getting dressed. Made scotch pancakes/drop scones so I could make shaped ones at Lydia's request. Today's most complicated ones were star shaped and person shaped ones. I hope this is what she remembers of her early childhood and not me and Tom getting annoyed with her.

I'm a very empathetic ( think that's the right word), sensitive to other people's moods, and both Tom and I were pretty grumpy this morning and Lydia's behaviour was winding us up. Then I got in a loop of being grumpy because Tom and Lydia were grumpy with me. In the end I asked to start again  once I worked this out, in the car on the way to the country park, which helped a bit!

We took a packed lunch to Royal Victoria Country Park, and met up with some is our NCT friends. We had been meeting on Friday nights once a month for tea at IKEA pre pandemic, but that's not really possible now with people moving further away and school approaching, so we're doing a weekend meet up instead and it's a very much come if you're free kind of thing.

Had a nice time trailing after the kids and going on the train. Then home to get tea on before my parents arrived. Originally due to come on Friday, we'd been waiting on Dad's PCR test to come back after he'd been Track and Traced due to exposure to someone who was asymptomatic. 

I love having them to stay. Having kids really brought home to me how much they love me and I them. I think it's seeing how they interact with my children and seeing how they must have been with me when I was a baby and small child. The bit of my life I can't remember. And also being grateful for the enormous amount of work they put in looking after me at that age, which I appreciate now I have to do it for my own kids. Dad spent ages sat on the floor trying to get a smile out of Phoebe whilst she was on her playmat, and Mum played a board game with Lydia, even though I know she doesn't really like board games.

Chicken, leek and tarrgon stew with dumplings for dinner, then mum did Lydia's bedtime, I started Phoebe's early as she was getting grumpy. Tom tidied the kitchen and dad worked on his cafe church presentation for tomorrow.

Once Phoebe was asleep, took mum to Sainsbury's to get their groceries as they were going to get them on the way home but I thought getting them tonight would save some time that we can all spend together. Mum enjoyed going round a massive supermarket after a year of not really going round one.

Then home for bed and the dream feed. 

NaBloPoMo 11 + 12: managing

Yesterday, got Lydia up and dressed and walked her to preschool with Phoebe in the carrier which was way easier than pushing the pram. Will do that again. Phoebe had nice long sleep in the carrier on walk home too.

Rest of the days naps were in the wrong place though. Need to work a bit harder on lining them up. Went to Shirley early before swimming to stay out the way of the cleaner and got a cute Christmas dress with robins on it for Phoebe for £2.00 in a charity shop. She then needed a feed and change and the baby change in Sainsbury's was closed so had a cheeky chai in Costa to make up for using their loo.

Went on to swimming, only two of us in the class this week, Phoebe made it through the whole class without needing a snack or being sick which made things less stressful. Fed her in the car for a long while after then on to Jon and Hannah's. No Rebecca today so we ended up just chatting about babies and drinking tea.

Home just in time for my counselling call. Today's mini lecture was on self care. No useful advice on how to actually fit stuff like that in. Some stuff on thinking about your values and living them, again not sure how that works with a tiny baby.

Tom got Lydia from preschool then went off to see his dad. Lydia had extensive evening snack whilst listening to Sarah and Duck radio until bedtime. She went to bed relatively smoothly for her at the moment.

Phoebe was still feeding when my friends Jo and Claire arrived for dinner about 8pm and wouldn't settle. Ended up feeding her at the kitchen table as I was starving and she eventually went to sleep about 9pm. Lydia came down once crying because of a bag dream too.

Jo had bought nibbles and Claire onion tart to go with the pear and walnut coleslaw I'd made earlier. We'd all had days of it so it was good to have a moan together. Tom joined us for a glass of wine when he got back and they left about 1030. Phoebe fed to sleep ok, Lydia in to our room once in the night.

Today, Lydia came in around 645am and I helped her get dressed. She was a bit of a pickle. Hasn't been very good at listening to instructions recently. Tom took her up to nursery on his way to work.

I then got Phoebe dressed and tried on some of the clothes from my maybe pile. Phoebe needed a long feed so I missed the first 20 mins of my live Pilates class. Decided to do 20 mins of a prerecorded one as something is better than nothing. 

Did a nappy change and as I was getting things from the car ready to go out, Tom arrived back from work and carried some stuff in for me. Made it to church for v about 1030am and arranged my Remembrance flowers around feeding Phoebe. Was pretty hard work as she wasn't very happy to settle for a nap. Think the flowers came out ok.

Home about 1pm, Just enough time to grab some food before Tom and Lydia collected me on the way back from getting Lydia. Then off to Andover to see Tom's dad. Had to stop once in the way to wake Lydia up.

Spent about an hour and a half with Tom's dad. He seemed much brighter compared with when I saw him the other day. Lydia did really well but was climbing the walls by the end. We went for a walk around the town centre after to try and tire her out. Had said we could have chips for tea, so picked up some of those on the way home for a car picnic. Phoebe had more milk whilst everyone else ate.

The chippy is in the parade of shops in the new housing development on the land that was Tom's grandparents' farm. He did a bit of the 'when I were a lad, all this were fields". Drove home in time for Lydia bedtime. Kept Phoebe up an extra 30 mins to allow for her last nap being late due to being in the car. Let's see what happens when I try to put her down....

NaBloPoMo 10: terrible

Tom left early again, girls both up late again. Got Lydia dressed eventually, she upset we didn't have time to make pancakes before swimming. Think she has a latent memory of us doing that on Wednesdays before Phoebe was born.

Got to swimming nice and early, Lydia managed to put face in water at the end after my prompting before the lesson.

Packed lunch in car on way home, window fitter came to measure up the bay windows, half heatedly managed to do some housework, then out to ballet.

Found myself being invited with some other ballet mums for a very quick cuppa at one of their houses nearby whilst the lesson was on. I needed that cuppa today. Lydia has been extremely argumentative and I am feeling extremely drained and physically achy which has led to me being very shouty. Lydia told me she didn't like me because I was shouting. I did apologise and she's just come in for a cuddle whilst I do Phoebe bedtime as she was scared so I hope I'm forgiven. Just can't cope with much today.

NaBloPoMo 9 : tired

Getting weary, so a quick one tonight.

Laura helped Tom and I a lot and I bit have a large give away pile of clothes and a maybe pile. Going to photograph the give away pile to see if anyone on the local Facebook groups wants them.

Tom out early for work, Lydia didn't wake up till 730am. She wasn't that interested in getting dressed but liked the idea of having a shower with me. Phoebe hung out in her bouncy chair whilst I did that. Quite a good way of fitting in a shower, might do it again

I don't know how normal capable people fit stuff like having showers and doing the washing up in to their days everyday.

Tom's mum arrived to us making porridge for Lydia for breakfast at 9am. She had a coffee whilst Lydia finished up then they went off to Finkley Farm for the day.

Bagel with pate and fruit for breakfast for me, put washing on and then long feed for Phoebe before going out to church Comms meeting in the car as had to drive to doctor's appointment after.

Doctor prescribed some emmolient for Phoebe, said to keep up food diary for a bit longer to see if any allergy correlations but was happy eczema was all mild. Phoebe was making eyes at the med student in the appointment which I think made him smile, and the doc wanted to know if Tom was tall given his big Phoebe is! I said, no, I just grow giant babies.

Delivered some tie dye to a friend, a little just because present to another friend, bought bread and some red fabric for Phoebe's Christmas stocking. Then home to hang washing and feed the Phoebe again

Lydia and Tom's mum back at 3pm and she left pretty sharpish as she was tired. Hung up washing and started dinner whilst Lydia had telly time, and tried helping one if the church wardens set up their email. Baked risotto wasn't going to be ready in time for Lydia tea so she had curry leftovers from yesterday.

Had first CBT call with NHS counseling team, asked me lots of questions, but felt the practitioner was really listening to my answers. Had to do it on headphones whilst Phoebe was feeding and Lydia watching TV.

Played a board game with Tom and Lydia after, Lydia a bit too tired and got cross when things didn't go her way. Read first bedtime story to Lydia at her request whilst Phoebe attempted rolling in the floor, then did Phoebe bedtime. First Phoebe laugh today whilst I was playing and shaking her hands. Long feed finished so hoping she'll go down now and I can go eat.

NaBloPoMo 8: shopping

We all overslept this morning as hadn't turned on our daylight alarm clock last night. I fed Phoebe whilst Tom got Lydia dressed and first breakfasted then took Phoebe in her pijamas to take Lydia to nursery. Squeaked in at 8:15am so she got her second preschool breakfast.

Had taken shopping bags with me so went straight to Aldi after. Another feed for Phoebe in the carpark, then into the carrier for her. She was a bit unsettled but then fell asleep as I walked around.

Going shopping still feels like a bit of a treat after not going much last year. Where we're in the bit of my maternity leave where my pay is reduced, we need to be sensible about our outgoings and food and eating out is easily some of the largest after bills and childcare. So I was merrily buying the Aldi version of as much as possible on the shopping list, then on to Waitrose for the other pieces. 

We do shopping for Tom's dad now too, and one of the things he wanted was a nailbrush. None in Aldi or Waitrose, or Superdrug and Boots only had giant wooden ones. Ended up getting one in Portswood Hardware Store, which like all such Aladdin's Cave type stores has everything you might ever need. Whilst going around it I found a small can of brass colour spray paint we can use to spray the toilet flush button so they match the brass fittings in the rest of the bathroom in the loft.

Had to abandon ship half way around Waitrose as Phoebe was sad enough to be worrying the staff, and go and feed and change her nappy in the car. They kindly held by shopping trolley at customer services until I came back.

Went and got a cuppa at McDonald's drive through to drink with a couple of reduced hotcross buns for my lunch whilst feeding Phoebe again after that bout of shopping. Pondered the Aldi Christmas catalogue, much like the Waitrose one, seeing a much smaller/simpler range of Christmas food this year, probably Brexit and Covid related. 

Also took a jaunt through October Books whilst in Portswood and bought Phoebe a nice board book about community for her Christmas stocking. As the second child and only being 4 months old at Christmas, she doesn't really need anything, but I wanted something for her. 

Shopping done, came home with Phoebe asleep in the car mid afternoon, so brought in the shopping and unpacked it whilst she woke up. She watched the washing machine for a bit when she did wake. Then it was nappy change and milk time and lunch and Strictly Come Dancing for me.

Next up was bath time for Phoebe. She really likes her bath. Lots of smiles and spent some time trying to moisture her eczema on her scalp. She liked playing with the towels too. 

Was giving Phoebe her 5pm feed when Tom and Lydia got back from preschool, and spent some time chatting with Lydia and playing. Then we all came back downstairs, and Laura arrived about 6pm. She's come today to help us tidy up our bedroom ahead of the move to the loft as we're going to be a wardrobe down due to the sloping ceilings.

Tom did Lydia bedtime and I and Laura took over making the curry Tom had started until I needed to do Phoebe bedtime. I'm currently feeding Phoebe to sleep in front room as we're going to put her to have her first night sleep in the carrycot so we can tidy the bedroom.

NaBloPoMo 7: homeward

Phoebe woke at 545, and I fed her, then tried to get her back down which was partially successful. Tom was going to take her for a bit but in the end I got her dressed and took her down so I could eat and she could have a play on the playmat around 845 after the second feed, as Tom wanted a shower. Lydia was watching telly as Granny had got up with Lydia and they had already breakfasted. Crossiants with jam, butter and blueberries for me.

Swapped when Tom came down and went and got washed and dressed and packed up as much of our stuff as I could. Then back downstairs to feed Phoebe again.

Tom and Lydia and Phil went out on the ATV whilst I fed Phoebe and Granny started lunch. They love whizzing about the fields in the mud. Back in time for Lydia snack time, I did another round of feeding and trying to get Phoebe to nap, then cajoled Lydia into playing and listening to Sarah and Duck radio. I know I'm really bad for it too but the other grownups don't get down on the floor to encourage her to play and then she just wants the TV.  A good reminder to me to start imaginative games with her etc.

Lunch was roast chicken and apple crumble, mainly from the in-laws garden which is awesome. Another round of feeding for me whilst Tom packed the car. I made Lydia a little packed tea for the journey home later, then it was time to go. Loved all the family singing together to keep Lydia awake!

We went home via Andover to have a short visit to Tom's dad.  He'd been in hospital for a couple of days to have some IV antibiotics for yet another lung infection and he's still not in a good way, so Tom had wanted to take the girls to see him to cheer him up. When we got there at 3pm, he'd not eaten the lunch his carers had left him, and was asleep in his chair. He was pleased to see us, and mainly spent the hour we were making conversation about Phoebe as Lydia and Tom sorted through some old photos. He won't wear his hearing aids though which makes chatting challenging. 

When I could see him getting tired, I got us to make a move home. Lydia ate her packed tea in the car, and the journey was packed with i-Spy to try and keep her awake. Once home we unpacked the car and I popped Phoebe in the baby gym whilst Lydia and I did some painting before bed. 

Tom's done Lydia bedtime which went pretty smoothly. I'm doing Phoebe's and she's been doing a piercing cry like something is hurting and not settling. Hoping she'll settle soon, can't see anything obvious.

NaBloPoMo 6: Roboshop

Phoebe fed this morning on and off from about 5am, so I decided to get up when Lydia got up and leave Tom to enjoy the lie in that his mum had kindly offered us. Once dressed, Phoebe and I came down to Granny and Lydia enjoying fruit and Weetabix.

We set up the highchair Tom's mum has in the baby position so Phoebe could sit up to the table whilst I ate breakfast of toast and blueberries.

Whilst Phil was out doing the animals and Tom was sleeping I went with the girls and Tom's mum to the local milk station at a nearby diary farm. They have one of those milk vending machines, and now vending machines selling ice-cream, coffee, dairy  products like butter and cheese and one with things like cold meats and sausage rolls. Such a good idea. We were able to see some of the little calves which Lydia enjoyed looking at, one of which was being halter trained by the farmer and her daughter. 

I tell you though, nothing makes you think about going vegan like trying to explain how a dairy herd works to a three year old. Lydia thought it very odd we'd take calves away from their mothers.

Once home, and after some telly time, Lydia and I briefly painted some of the Frozen models from a painting kit her step cousin had brought for her and left with Tom's mum. It was quite detailed though and she got a bit frustrated by it. 

Then one of Tom's colleagues arrived with his wife to collect one of the puppies so we said goodbye to Olive as she's now known. 

After that it was lunch time of crispy tofu and stir fry, and a special treat of a chocolate pudding for Lydia. We took her out for a ride on her bike in the yard for a bit and then came in when she got frustrated by that. I went off to feed Phoebe whilst Phil's daughter arrived with her family to pick up their puppy.

Lydia was very funny following Sophie, her step cousin, around adorably. Sophie was a very good sport about it. Lydia also showed everyone her dancing to the Stick Stick Stick Sticky Sticky Stick musical Hey Duggee toy that Tom's mum had bought for herself.

I did some more sewing this afternoon between feeding Pheebs. I feel like I should have been making some offering to my ancestors cutting into the tiniest stitching done by generations of women.

Lydia had tea at Lydia tea time, then we went out to walk the younger of Mum and Phil's dogs with Mum whilst Phil sorted live stock and puppies. Had some nice quality time with Lydia walking in the dark whilst she played with her torch and I did her bath when we got in as don't actually get much time just the two of us at the moment.

After delivering Lydia to her room for granny bedtime stories, fed Phoebe to sleep and was downstairs for 7:45pm for Thai takeaway and a really lovely evening chatting to Mum and Phil over some glasses of wine.

Giving Phoebe the dream feed now. 🌜