NaBloPoMo 14: a wondering we will go.

Woke up at 6 am enjoyably not hungover. A miracle given the night before. Hunkered down and dozed for a bit, then when Jess woke up we had a cuppa and breakfasted.

Out and about for about 9am, mooching through the shopping streets to Hema, a kind of Dutch Woolworths. There used to be one in Victoria station when our London offices were in Victoria and I enjoyed perusing the nice cheap bits and bobs 

Stocked up on Sinterklaas chocolate letters for St Nicholas' day and other gifty bits. My bag is going to be so full on the way home!

Thought we'd do a boat tour next, and spent an enjoyable hour touring about. Everything looks quite different from the water. I liked spotting the wonky houses, caused by piles sinking into the marshy ground, and the varied tops of the gables. 

Tour done, we wandered over to the Nine Streets District for lunch of fondue and basque cheesecake at Smelt. The atmosphere was so cosy, and who knows Brussels Sprouts went so well with fondue. Had a glass of Gruner Veltliner, a new wine on me yesterday, and very much enjoyed it again. 

Spent the rest of the afternoon looking in little shops and wondering over towards the Jordaan District slowly. Highlights included coming across a street party with funfair style organ on a vintage car outside a sweetshop, staff handing out balloons and sweets to kids and sparkling wine and canapes to adults. From the sign, I think they'd been there for 25 years. 

I also enjoyed looking round some beautiful lingerie shops and some fantastic toys shops and markets. Oh and we found a stroopwafel stand!

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Back to the hotel for about 4pm for another cuppa and I then went down to the spa for a bit. Had the place pretty much to myself and may have had an accidental nap in the sauna...oops!

Dressed for dinner and we were back of out again to the Branbantse Aap for another cosy pub evening, this time with added fresh warm bread and hot chocolate alongside our drinks and borrel.

We'd ended up walking through the red light district again on our way to the pub, so wanted to walk home another way. Jess found out that there was a Christmas market in the Leidesplein on social media so we decided to check it out on our way back. It was just a gluwein bar under a Christmas pyramid and a sausage stand, but it was fun to see all the Christmas lights on the way. I have enjoyed how each district has had themed lights. 

I also enjoyed how the Dutch not always going for net curtains means at night you can see into the lit up rooms of certain houses, making them appear like giant dolls houses. 

NaBloPoMo 13 in love with museums

I woke up about 7am ahead of my alarms today, gently roused by the light. Bimbled doing bathroom bits until Jess woke up and then cracked into our breakfast treasure from Albert Heijn last night. filet Americain and rundelvleessalade for me!

Then once dressed, a quick march to the Rijksuseum for a pleasant few hours following their treasures of the museum audio tour. I loved the unapologetic interpretation a out the conservation work happening on the Night Watch and seeing the conservators at work. 

Rijksmuseum is such a peaceful and welcoming museum. I had a lovely time going at my own pace, looking at all the beautiful things 

We stopped for hot chocolate in the cafe and I enjoyed seeing one of the Tulip vases in action.

Once museumd out we went for a stroll soaking up the atmosphere, aiming for the Albert Cuyp market. I picked up a little watercolor print to add to our travel art collection then we hit up Albert Heijn again for lunch. 

I picked up some more filet Americain, this time with egg mayo to go with my roll. We walked to a nearby park and sat eating on a bench watching the tour boats go by. I'm always struck in watery cities like this that there aren't more water taxis.

Post lunch we bimbled back to the hotel taking in the atmosphere and little shops. Then it was gym time where Jess joined in with my workout and we sauna'd for a bit.  Then back to the room for showers and getting ready for dinner. 

We're at Contra this evening, a jazz bar and restaurant. Joost Patocka the drummer is the guest of honour and we're enjoying a 5 course tasting menu, with wine and dirty martinis for me. All so cool!

NaBloPoMo 12: Amsterdam baby

Up ridiculously early at 5am wondering down the dark silent streets, stars out and streetlights off. Down to Bitterne station to catch my first train of the day to Southampton. Unsurprisingly very quiet!

Then the 630 train from Southampton to Waterloo. Got a coffee on the platform before and settled in at a table to read my book and doze. All on time and uneventful, watching the train fill up with commuters.

On to  train 3 and 4, tube to St Pancras. Managed to miss Euston so had to go back on myself one stop to get back on the Bank branch. Popping out at St Ps into the light is always so enjoyable staring up at the soaring delicate ribs breaking up the sky.

Had a wander, bought some decongestants in Boots to stave off this incoming cold, and a look in the open shops whilst waiting for Jess. When she arrived and after the obligatory squealing we breakfasted in Le Pain Quotidien to kill time feasting on bread and jam and unusual drinks, and buying lunch for the train.

Managed to be first in the queue for ticket check in by wondering past the Eurostar employee at the right time, and followed them around to the queuing pen past the shops and back on ourselves, returning to where we'd started in a comedy fashion. 

Once through check in and security we felt we had won by scoring seats in the waiting area, but our joy began to melt away as our train was delayed and delayed again. Eventually boarded 1hr 20 late, having enjoyed listening in to friendly Americans chatting to people in the queue. Apparently one of our queue mates was an up and coming musician having enjoyed the luxury shopping at Harrods which was so much better than Beverley Hills.

On the train we ate our lunch and 'enjoyed' some very reduced World Cup BuzzBalls Jess had found as train drinks... I love watching the world whizz past on the train, the excitement of my ears popping as we go into the tunnels. We chatted away, read our books and I knitted a bit. 

But... As we approached Brussels an announcement said the train was going to terminate there due to issues with the channel tunnel earlier in the day. Turns out there had been a bomb scare at a local Calais station that had affected all trains. So we got off and queued around Brussels station for another train, with our fellow passengers' patience audibly fraying around us.

The train we were put on went to Rotterdam and Schiphol before Amsterdam so added to our delay. Jess was very sharp elbowed in the crush to get on and got us comfy seats. After more dozing, books and chat we eventually got into Amsterdam at 18:15 into the cold and light rain.

Central Amsterdam looks so beautiful in the dark, with old style street lamps along the canals in the mist. The higgedly buildings with sporadic lighted windows giving glimpses into people's lives. And because we're here ahead of Sinterklaas arriving, Christmas lights everywhere, beautiful lit up wreaths, garlands and trees on the bigger buildings and in the squares.

Our hotel is the Grand Hotel Amrath, itself an art nouveau esque dream in the Amsterdam School style and the old headquarters of a shipping conglomerate, with grand staircases and historic paternoster elevators. Our room has a ceiling at least 4 Alexs high.

Once we'd unpacked and enjoyed a cuppa and our complimentary stroopwafels we headed out again into the dark to explore. I had in mind I wanted a cosy pub and some bitterballen so took Jess on a merry dance till I spotted the Branbantse App, where we settled in for a bit. 

It was a buzzy atmosphere with bunches of young locals drinking on dates or in groups and an older group pregaming before what looked liked going to a masquerade party based on them tieing on each other masks and wearing tuxedo and sequins.

We enjoyed a plate of various borrel fried delecies and in my case a couple of halves of the house witte beer and a raspberry beer and chatted away getting more raucous. I thought Jess was brave going for a shot of the house licorice and banana liqueur as a digestif but she claims it was delicious.

Home via a supermarket sweep of the nearby Albert Heijn To Go with 10 mins before closing enjoyably merry and trying not to buy the whole shop. Got myself some filet americain and some tuna potato salad for breakfast with crackers and my fave fizzy iced tea, all things I can't get at home. 

Also rescued a lad from North Wales trying to find the station on our walk home who asked for directions having heard us speaking English. Away alone for the weekend and off his head on mushrooms and a happy brownie else walked with him along the canals until we got to the edge of the station. I hope he made his ferry!

Very quick sauna just before the spa closed for the night, appreciated that it stayed open till 11pm so could rest our aching legs. Then bed!

NaBloPoMo 11: productive-ish

Woke up to a Phoebe in my bed. With Tom away, plenty of space so I'd not woken up. Kids look so cute when they are asleep, I almost didn't have the heart to wake her.

Got her clothes so we could have a getting dressed race and woke Lydia on my way past. She got dressed quickly as she was excited to wear her cubs uniform to school for Armistice Day.

Breakfast was a bit more stressy but we just about made it out the door ok. Got to school, lots of comparing of scout badges in the playground. Then up to the infant school Phoebe asking me questions about what ballet dancers wear to work ahead of 'dress up as you what you want to be when you grown up' day for Children in Need on Friday, and if footballers' families go to watch them play the way we went to watch her in her ballet show.

Rushed home for work calls. Today was a Comms unit annual planning session and a catch up on recruitment with my co-lead. In between, prepped induction materials and pitch emails for YouTubers. Mug courtesy of my dancing buddy Peter!

Finished up a little later to cover work needed ahead of being on leave Thurs and Fri. Then turned the house upside down again looking for Phoebe's ballet uniform. Couldn't find it so packed her show costume for her to wear instead. 

Went to the gym. Day B today, but feeling weak for some reason so had to drop weight in some sets.

Barbell RDL on smith machine:  5 sets x 5 reps 31kg

Dumbbell OHP: 3 sets x 5 reps 14kg or 7kg each arm

Lat pull down: 3 sets x 5 reps 29kg down to 25kg

Hip Thrust: 3 sets x 10 reps 41kg 

Seated Cable Row: 3 sets x 10 reps 16kg

Shoulder Press Machine: 3 sets x 10 reps 11kg down to 7kg

Leg Extension: 3 sets x 10 reps 29.6kg  down to 25kg

Tricep Pushdown: 3 sets x 10 reps 7.9kg

Finished up in time but then got stuck in traffic. Made it to school 5 mins after the bell so picked Phoebe up from reception. Rushed over to Portswood for tea before ballet. The Sainsbury's cafe, Phoebe's preferred cafe on a Wednesday wasn't serving food for some reason, so we bought her a meal deal instead after getting her changed in the loos.

Whilst she was dancing, treated myself to a karak chai and tikka wrap from Chaiiwala for my own dinner as I fancied something hot. 

Once I'd picked her up, all excited about having a certificate for doing the show, home via a parcel locker pick up of Christmas presents and a quick granny phone call. When we got home spent 10 mins doing some market research on radio listening habits for a beleaguered looking researcher. Got a £5 voucher for my troubles. Then back out to pick up Lydia from our friend's. Stopped for a cuppa to try and ease the exit process. Still got a torrent of shouting about wanting sleepovers and to go to holiday club in the Christmas holidays all the way home. 

Tom home from his course just as we got in, so tag teamed bedtime. Both girls wanting extra cuddles as I'm going away. Finished up the last min packing and now an early bedtime for me ahead of an early wake up.

NaBloPoMo 10 pretty much nothing

Felt a bit sub par today, coldy and sinusy.

Usual sort of a day, Lydia helpfully getting herself ready, I had to help Phoebe. She'd been up in the night but managed to get her back in her bed.

Uneventful school run but got soaked on the rain. Back home for a morning of recruitment discussions, handling a contentious issue and listening in on the new regional director introducing himself on an all hands call.

Had a nap and did some packing this afternoon for my Amsterdam trip with Jess on Thurs.

Pouring with rain so picked kids up in car. Lots of bickering all round this evening. Noise was doing my head in. Easy tea of Pizza. Then took big girls to cubs and ran errands with Phoebe on way home, getting my train tickets and dropping of a parcel. Did some tidying.

Phoebe went to sleep relatively quickly. Then left Lydia to pretty much get herself ready for bed whilst I sorted things. Cannot find Phoebe's ballet leotard anywhere so she'll be in her show costume tomorrow. Read Lydia a quick story, did bare minimum to tidy kitchen before finishing my packing and having a shower. Bed time now.

NaBloPoMo 9: London again

Awful early start with Phoebe and I screaming at each other over hair and me trying to rush out the door to catch my London train. Every morning I feel like I've done a full day at work before I've actually sat at my desk. Had a cry waiting for my mercifully delayed train and then again when I realised I didn't have a spoon to eat my breakfast. 

Knitted all the way into London to try and calm down. Nipped into Boots at Waterloo to buy some mascara and slap some tester blusher on to make me feel more human. The liminal space of the tunnels between lines I find very soothing, with the whoosh of warm air and the slap of feet on floor and very little talking.

. Did not envy the three classes worth on a school trip on the Tube, the many teachers and helpers coralling the tiniest, stopping them from eating their snacks and leaving their coats behind.

As it happened they were off to the same museum as me. Spent the day with other Comms leads from visitors attractions hearing about the industry and case studies, very helpful and excellent food.

Home on the slow train. Back into chaos, though had a steak dinner waiting for me. Children wanted to get ready for bed with me whilst I changed for dance, so suffered through that and read Phoebe a quick story.

Dance not as great tonight, quiet and I wasnt feeling it

 As it happened, the online shopping order didn't arrive, so I went off to the 24hr Asda to buy pizzas for tomorrow and breakfast items and randomly emergency school shoes for friends tearing their hair out having lost their kid's shoes. Right place at the right time and all that. Left them on their door handle on the way home.

NaBloPoMo 8: sticky fingers

Up early for a Sunday as it was dance show day today for the kids. Got myself dressed, then went downstairs to hoick Phoebe away from the TV and into her clothes and resting breakfast before going to wake Lydia. She'd not gone to sleep till late, nerves I think. 

Body doubled Lydia so she dressed and then set her to breakfast as well whilst getting to alay her nerves. 

Then off to the Thornden Hall for 9am with three packed lunches as I was going to help with doing hair for the dance school. Super foggy on the drive, with the kids singing alphabet songs together and bickering alternately as we went. Discussed faking it till you make it and how the most important thing today was to smile throughout your performance even if you go wrong.

Always strikes me when I go to the Thornden School with its excellent facilities the difference in funding and feel between these suburban or small town schools and the city centre schools. 

Then having dropped the kids in their respective age group rooms, walked into the chaos of pre-show prep. Today, I was grateful for years of life experience and feeling confident enough to just muck in, asking for help and guidance when I needed it but with enough knowledge and experience to get on with the job despite not knowing any of the helpers and kids.

I think I must have done around 40 or so buns and pony tails, through from centre part slick backs with tiaras and pearl pins for the seniors, butterfly buns for the middles and high ponies for the littlest ones. This year I was not afraid of the gel and slathered it on, fighting over the one bristle brush with the perfect firmness of bristles to smooth all the fly aways. My hands are still sticky after having been washed multiple times.  

Once all the hair was done, I quickly ate some lunch and went to help with dressing the tiniest before waiting for Tom and his Mum to arrive to watch the first performance. 

Happily everyone did very well, including both my girls. Both remembered to smile, Lydia had particularly expressive arms, hands and upper body movements, and Phoebe was one of the most confident in her class, giving it some sass. Had a little happy cry as I've been anxious about this, whether it would be too much for Lydia or if Phoebe would be too scared. We had good seats in the second row so had a fab view.

After the show, said goodbye to the mother in law, and went to meet my sister and family in the car park as we were looking after my niece Aoife whilst they went to see Bill Bailey. She was full of the joys of her recent birthday parties and trips to see live action Frozen at the theatre. 

Tom went out to pick up the second hand bike we'd bought Aoife for her birthday and whilst he was out, I set Aoife up with colouring and building toys whilst I made dairy free chocolate pudding for dessert this evening. Then we went out to the shop on the way to pick up the girls to choose bunches of flowers for them. I have such memories of my grandparents always presenting us with flowers after our dance shows whilst we were growing up, 'just like real ballerinas'.

When we got there, the audience were just leaving so left Aoife with my parents who'd arrived to watch the second show whilst I queued to pick up the girls. Phoebe came out full of beans and joy, Lydia distraught that she'd not got a medal in the prize giving, feeling keenly it was unfair. So had to spend the time walking to the car trying to calm her. I'd built up in my head that they'd both be excited and this would be a nice memory for us all but instead I'm there trying to be someone's emotional regulation yet again, being yelled at yet again.

Once home, Lydia calmed down whilst arranging her flowers, but Phoebe kept losing her cool over music up dance to in the game they were all playing. So much for a nice hour catching up with my parents whilst dinner was cooking.

Managed to get everyone round the table eventually for the roast gammon dinner Tom had made, and Ellie and Andy arrived back just as we were finishing our main course. Never knowingly under catered worked in our favour so were able to rustle up another couple of plates for them. Aoife birthday cake and chocolate pudding for dessert and a few peaceful moments whilst the kids played to help my mum with her email login woes.

Everyone left at kid bedtime, and I spent the evening snuggling Lydia trying to get her to calm down. I've since been prepping for work tomorrow and am about to do some Christmas shopping.

NaBloPoMo 7 grumpy day

My day for a lie in scuppered by Phoebe needing help this morning and only Mummy will do. Lack of sleep from late nights and disturbed nights massively catching up with me and I've had zero tolerance for anything all day.

Spent the morning shopping in town for this year's selection of autumn socks and the highlight of the day being using my free tea and cake My John Lewis vouchers.

Then spent rest of morning getting kids to do their homework and gradually getting more and more annoyed by their whining. Nipped out to get bread and sausages rolls and took lots of deep breaths but it didn't help. 

This afternoon, put washing away, successfully refresh my curls and had a nap which helped a bit, then helped Tom prep dinner. Dinner was hard with kids refusing to use cutlery or sit still.

I often worry a lot that me being grumpy at my kids what feels like all the time will lead to them hating me when they're older and needing therapy. It sucks because I wanted them so badly and worked so hard to have them, and now I find parenting so very hard. I thought I'd be naturally good at it, but it turns out I suck and have no patience. I lost it all after having PND with Phoebe.

Did first half of bedtime and then prepped the Vinted parcels and Autumn socks parcels for postage. Listed some unworn shoes of Tom's that sold really quickly. Once he'd taken over bedtime, dropped parcels off on the way to the gym and lifted heavy things for my mental health. PBd my squat which was cool. 

Barbell squat 5 x 5 28kg

Dumbbell bench 5 x 5 2x10kg

Dumbbell row 3 x 8 2 x10kg

 Leg Press 3 sets x 8 x 47kg

 Chest Press Machine 3 sets x 8 reps x 14kg 

Lat Pulldown 3 sets x 8 reps x 25kg 

Leg Curl→3 sets x 10 reps x 20kg 

Cable Curl 3 sets x 8 reps x 14kg  

I know they're not huge numbers but they represent huge improvement for me. 

   

   

NaBloPoMo 6: London Baby

Up bright and early to get into London today for a day of interviews. No Phoebe wake ups, but she did appear in my room around 630am as I was rushing around.

Drove up to Southampton Airport Parkway whilst stuffing my breakfast in my gob and parked the correct side for the London train for once. Train delayed slightly, but got in with plenty of time. Less enamoured with the three lads blaring music from their phones and arguing about how to book trains on the Uber app to use their discount. Stuck my headphones in and actually did some work.

Once at Waterloo, marched over Waterloo Bridge enjoying the brutalism on the South Bank and stopped to buy a pastry for my colleague and I to see us through the day of interviews.

morning

evening.

Full on day of interviews. I have been the interviewer more than interviewee these days. 

Had a bit of time before my train home so took my colleague out for a drink and a chin wag. Train journey uneventful. Just about made it home in time for a quick outfit change before going to the cinema with Tom to see the Ghosts film with a snuck in sushi and canned cocktails tea. Really only makes sense if you've watched the TV series, but it was charming and laugh out loud funny.