Sunday, December 30, 2012

Who needs Tyrells?

A glimpse of Christmas

Here is a small glimpse of our Christmas living room.

I'm feeling very cosy and festive despite the stinking cold that Tom has shared with me.

We have been well gifted and well travelled. The boat home from France was rather rough, but it was lovely to see Tom's dad.

We've also been down to Dorset to see Tom's mum and had my family for lunch before the family party.

One of my favourite gifts was Rachel Held Evan's A Year of Biblical Womanhood where she tries to live for the year according to bible verses that supposedly apply to women. It's funny and touching and I need to read it again.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Radvent 2 - 4

Radvent 2: Self Worth

1. Consider the origins of your self-worth. Think about when you feel self-conscious or less worthy as a person, and what context that is usually in. How can you increase the sources of your self-worth and diversify the sources you can pull strength from when you do occasionally feel down?

I measure my worth through my performance. Am I achieving? I think this comes from being a first child, being praised for my marks at school, rather than being praised for the hard work. The little sisters are much better at this than I. I work in a field where success is easily measured and demonstrable. 

I feel most self concious when I think I am failing. I also feel often that I am being judged, and the opions of others matter to me. 

I am working on taking my worth from my inherant value as a human, as all humans are equal and worth something, especially to God. I am also working on taking my value from my usefulness rather than my performance. Being there for a friend, creating something beautiful all have value.

2. Consider a compliment you received recently. 

Lots of people have been very complimentary about my new hair cut. Vain, but pleasing. In taking small risks with my appearance, I hope to help teach myself that playing it safe is boring, and that it is worth trying something that may go wrong. I normally try and avoid situations where I might fail.

4. Realize you affect others. 

I have noticed that lots of people have started asking me for advice. I don't claim to have my life sussed or sorted. But I am good at listening, and I've made a concious decision to be open and honest, and not to stand any nonsense. This seems to have led to me having an affect on others. I hope I can inspire them to note their own instrict value, and to love themselves a little more. We all need more love.

Radvent 3: Compilation

1.Make a greatest hits list for your year

Here are my songs for the year. Songs that I have jived to, songs I have sung to in the car, songs I have cried to and songs that have inspired me. Can you guess which are which?

2. Audit your life playlist. Consider how the media you consume but maybe don’t even think about makes you uncomfortable. Does it perpetuate standards you don’t agree with? Once in a while I think we have to check this because bad media habits are so easy to form.

I have been becoming more aware of the marginalisation of women in society this year. Not one to notice lyrics, being more of a music and rhythm girl, I have found myself becoming uncomfortable with song lyrics that promote the oppression of women in some way. Sometimes the music is still too infectious to ignore, like the Bellowhead track above, but I have been editing what I listen to.

I have also found myself taking a break from listening to lots of news. I used to listen to Radio 4 all the time whilst driving, but the relentless news coming through so often found me worrying about things I cannot change. I'd rather focus my worrying.

Radvent 4: Sincerely

Let someone know how they’ve made a difference to you.

 

Tom, 

You make a difference to me everyday. Your food fills my belly and adds pounds and curves, some of which I relish. Your influence and dose of cynicism makes me want to change the world. Your calming presence and insistence I rest from time to time have improved my mental health. And knowing you love me and support me have improved my condfidence.

Love Alex

x

 

 

Dear friends,

Ben, Laura, Jon, John, Hannah, Sandy and Marmers

This year I know what it means to have a community around me who loves me and wants to help no matter what again, just like when I was at Chaplaincy.

I can't say thank you enough. I love you all very much, and I want you all to tell me how I can love you back. You make a difference by physically showing up.

Mel, Ian, Andy, Jess, Cecil, Amey, Jo, Sarah, George, Holly, Nikki.

I love that you love me enough to keep in touch no matter how far apart we are.

Love Alex

 

Dear family,

Mum and Dad, you influence me everyday when I remember the outrageous radical hospitality you show people. Nothing is ever too much trouble. Thank you.

Rich and Clair and Riley.

I love having family that's my age. I love that I can talk to you about anything. You influence me by showing me how things can carry on no matter what, that family is important no matter how oddly shaped it is. And you give me hope.

Love Alex.

Radvent 2 - 4

Radvent 2: Self Worth

1. Consider the origins of your self-worth. Think about when you feel self-conscious or less worthy as a person, and what context that is usually in. How can you increase the sources of your self-worth and diversify the sources you can pull strength from when you do occasionally feel down?

I measure my worth through my performance. Am I achieving? I think this comes from being a first child, being praised for my marks at school, rather than being praised for the hard work. The little sisters are much better at this than I. I work in a field where success is easily measured and demonstrable. 

I feel most self concious when I think I am failing. I also feel often that I am being judged, and the opions of others matter to me. 

I am working on taking my worth from my inherant value as a human, as all humans are equal and worth something, especially to God. I am also working on taking my value from my usefulness rather than my performance. Being there for a friend, creating something beautiful all have value.

2. Consider a compliment you received recently. 

Lots of people have been very complimentary about my new hair cut. Vain, but pleasing. In taking small risks with my appearance, I hope to help teach myself that playing it safe is boring, and that it is worth trying something that may go wrong. I normally try and avoid situations where I might fail.

4. Realize you affect others. 

I have noticed that lots of people have started asking me for advice. I don't claim to have my life sussed or sorted. But I am good at listening, and I've made a concious decision to be open and honest, and not to stand any nonsense. This seems to have led to me having an affect on others. I hope I can inspire them to note their own instrict value, and to love themselves a little more. We all need more love.

Radvent 3: Compilation

1.Make a greatest hits list for your year

Here are my songs for the year. Songs that I have jived to, songs I have sung to in the car, songs I have cried to and songs that have inspired me. Can you guess which are which?

2. Audit your life playlist. Consider how the media you consume but maybe don’t even think about makes you uncomfortable. Does it perpetuate standards you don’t agree with? Once in a while I think we have to check this because bad media habits are so easy to form.

I have been becoming more aware of the marginalisation of women in society this year. Not one to notice lyrics, being more of a music and rhythm girl, I have found myself becoming uncomfortable with song lyrics that promote the oppression of women in some way. Sometimes the music is still too infectious to ignore, like the Bellowhead track above, but I have been editing what I listen to.

I have also found myself taking a break from listening to lots of news. I used to listen to Radio 4 all the time whilst driving, but the relentless news coming through so often found me worrying about things I cannot change. I'd rather focus my worrying.

Radvent 4: Sincerely

Let someone know how they’ve made a difference to you.

 

Tom, 

You make a difference to me everyday. Your food fills my belly and adds pounds and curves, some of which I relish. Your influence and dose of cynicism makes me want to change the world. Your calming presence and insistence I rest from time to time have improved my mental health. And knowing you love me and support me have improved my condfidence.

Love Alex

x

 

 

Dear friends,

Ben, Laura, Jon, John, Hannah, Sandy and Marmers

This year I know what it means to have a community around me who loves me and wants to help no matter what again, just like when I was at Chaplaincy.

I can't say thank you enough. I love you all very much, and I want you all to tell me how I can love you back. You make a difference by physically showing up.

Mel, Ian, Andy, Jess, Cecil, Amey, Jo, Sarah, George, Holly, Nikki.

I love that you love me enough to keep in touch no matter how far apart we are.

Love Alex

 

Dear family,

Mum and Dad, you influence me everyday when I remember the outrageous radical hospitality you show people. Nothing is ever too much trouble. Thank you.

Rich and Clair and Riley.

I love having family that's my age. I love that I can talk to you about anything. You influence me by showing me how things can carry on no matter what, that family is important no matter how oddly shaped it is. And you give me hope.

Love Alex.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Radvent 1 - Knowing

I'm playing along with Princess Lasertron's Radvent this year, as I like being given a reason to blog everyday. I'm even spelling it right this year, compared with last time!

Today, think about what you know for sure.

I don't think I know many things for sure. I know my parents and Tom love me.  I know that achieving anything in life will involve hard work. I know food tastes better when you're hungry. I know that I can always get the right search phrase in a search engine for the information you are looking for, and I can usually caress a printer into working.

Make a list of things you’d like your daughter or son, or a good friend to know.

1. God loves you.
2. No one can make you miserable without your permission.
3. Be polite - good manners can get you far.
4. Don't be too polite - know when to stand up for yourself and for others.
5. Friends and family round a dinner table talking into the night are worth more than their wait in gold.
6. Small new people deserve a hand made thing made with love.
7. Always be willing to drop everything to run and help someone, as you never know when you'd need the same.


Ask the person closest to you to meet for coffee and share your favorite thing you know about them.


Having recently had dinner with Amey, my oldest friend, I spent alot of time telling her that she'd made me cry with laughter. I think that's my favourite thing about her.

NaBloPoMo 30 - well that was annoying

I failed on the last day. I was going to share these pictures of flower arrangements I'd created, for want of anything else.

We're at the mother in law's for the weekend, it's beautifully frosty on the farm.

One of the arrangements, the one with the candles us for the Christmas Fayre at Church today, the other was nectar the mother in law loves gerberas.



Thursday, November 29, 2012

NaBloPoMo 29 - Ice cream and intrigue

Today I went on a research trip to Kensington Palace. They are using a very different method of interpretation and visitor experience. They told stories using quotes, sound and video. I was particularly taken with how they told the love story of Victoria and Albert.

We then went out for a drink to say goodbye to a colleague who is leaving and had a throughly good time seeing the weird to rights.

I went on in the evening to see the lovely Amey. I needn't have worried. It was like we had never been apart. We reminisced, swapped gossip, loved being in London, ate Thai food, then went for milkshakes and pancakes. There is such joy in a very old friend who knows all of you.



Theatrical interpretation

China print birds in the queen's state apartments at Kensington Palace

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

NaBloPoMo 28 - living observing reporting

In a swirling haze I woke up today. Bare days now until Tom's back. Thoughts streaming.

I've got to go and put some more paint on the bare bits of the wall. It's my one concession to being useful whilst he's been away.

Today has been copying and pasting codes into systems and begging for a cleverer way of doing it.

It's also been nipping out into chill darkness to collect Christmas presents I missed when out this week and last.

The mechanism of online shopping intrigues me. I press my button, the order whizzes off, fufilled by automaton, or handpicked. It flies across the country by van and usually, the post office approach my door with whatever it was.

There was a huge queue at the delivery office today, probably all Christmas shoppers too. Some like me with more than one card, we're never in.

I had to do a merry dance in the car park. Too many people all looking to go to gym, which is next to the post office, or for their parcels.

Bizarrely my jade plant seems to have thrived behind the competition of the cyclamen in front of it on the mantle, whilst the cyclamen was in here whilst we decorating.

I suppose I ought to dust before we put the Christmas decorations up. Anyone know a good cleaner in Southampton?

I'm seeing an old friend in London tomorrow, after my work meetings. I'm horribly nervous about it. We've not seen each other since my wedding. She was my foil at school. I fought with my bully to be her friend, from when I was seven. I once stabbed her in the wrist in a fit of pique with a fountain pen in a maths class. She was my dancing buddy, the evil queen to my Aslan. I envied her confidence, her beauty, her sense of adventure. She's working in London now, living with her partner in a converted church. She was braver than I, studied dance and languages at uni, went to live in Spain for her course. Will we still have anything at all to talk about?


Nom Nom Christmas pudding

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

NaBloPoMo 27 selling and sweets

HuHello you lot. Christmas pudding mission accomplished. Here are some very poor quality pictures.
Key points to remember are plenty of brandy, apple, add glace cherries, make a fold in your paper and foil to allow for expansion, and make a string handle for picking it out the saucepan after steaming.
Excellent day today despite being sat in traffic a lot. I was trained on Google Adwords, this made me ridiculously excited. I love learning how new things work, especially things with data and stats.
When I eventually made it home, I made a tasty roast dinner and Laura came to help me eat it. We knitted, caught up on the past week and died her hair blue. Well blue black. It looks awesome. Oh and there was cheesecake.




Monday, November 26, 2012

NaBloPoMo 26 - scraping in again

Today, just!

Late home due to dancing. I actually danced so hard my toes are bleeding. No wonder my feet were hurting. New dance shoes and time to cut my toe nails I think.

Dancing was epic. Dancing dancing dancing yay dancing.

Need to check with Tom that I'm around to go to the ball.

Awesome new hair looks awesome curly too.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

N.T. Wright on women bishops

NaBloPoMo 25 - dammit

I completely ran out of time to make my Christmas pudding today.

Do you think it will taste ok with one or two days less maturing time?

Tom and I had a lazy lie in this morning before church after rushing around yesterday. It was Christ the King at church today, and the songs were excellent. Nothing like a sing.

We had a delicious lunch of pumpkin based lasagne at Toddy's, followed by an epically big spotted dick and cheese and biscuits to celebrate his graduation. It was fantabulous catching up, and getting to know Adam better.

After that, I waved Tom off at the station for another week, and then drive to Chieveley services to merry up with Ellie and give her her bag back.

This evening, I have watched Strictly and compiled Tom's expenses. But I have not made Christmas pudding. Dammit.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

NaBloPoMo 24 uninspired + vindaloo

I am not feeling inspired today.

Had a cost lie in. Tried to rationalise the mess in the dining room and kitchen so Tom could make curry for Ellie and Andy. They had a nightmare trying to get to us, with foggy cars and bad traffic. Ellie had also put her hand in her pudding.

When they arrived, lent Andy some upholstery cleaner so he could get cake off her car, and set Ellie to c leading cake of her coat.

Tom made Anjum Anand's pork vindaloo. It was delicious, a combination of hot and sour and aromatic. Ellie's chocolate puddle pudding was lovely and we willed away the hours chatting about scifi, religion and the teaching of maths.

After, I went to church to work on some Christmas publicity, and Tom has been DIYing.

We've both been a bit out of sorts today. I hope tomorrow is better.

Here's the vindaloo recipe:
Ingredients

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 tsp coriander seeds

5 black peppercorns, left whole

2 green cardamom pods, seeds only

2 cloves

1cm/½in piece cinnamon

1cm/½in piece ginger, peeled and chopped

7 garlic cloves, peeled and left whole

3 fresh red chillies

3 tbsp white wine vinegar

pinch salt

350g/12oz pork shoulder, flesh cut into 2.5cm/1in cubes

100g/3½oz pork belly, cut into 2.5cm/1in pieces

65ml/2½fl oz vegetable oil

1 small onion, finely chopped

¾ tsp mustard seeds

handful cashew nuts
To serve (optional)

220g/8oz basmati rice, cooked according to packet instructions

4 wheat tortillas

2 handfuls chopped lettuce

4 tbsp soured cream
Preparation method

Using a spice grinder, grind the cumin seeds, coriander seeds, peppercorns, cardamom seeds, cloves and cinnamon to a fine powder.

In a food processor, blend the ginger, garlic, chillies and white wine vinegar to a paste.

Mix the ground spice mixture with the paste until well combined and season with a pinch of salt. Rub the mixture all over the pork using your fingers, then set the pork aside, covered, to marinate for 1½-2 hours.

Heat four tablespoons of the oil in a non-stick pan. When the oil is hot, add the onion and fry for 3-4 minutes, or until golden-brown.

Add the marinated pork pieces and fry for 6-7 minutes, turning once, until golden-brown on all sides. Reduce the heat to low, cover the pan with a lid and cook for 35-40 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the pork is tender. Add small splashes of boiling water to the pan as necessary if the juices in the pan dry out. Add as little water as possible as the resulting sauce should be quite thick.

Heat the remaining teaspoon of oil in a separate pan over a medium heat. When the oil is hot, add the mustard seeds. (CAUTION: the mustard seeds will start to pop. Keep the pan well away from your face and eyes.)

Once the mustard seeds start to pop, add the cashew nuts and fry for 2-3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the nuts are golden-brown.

To serve, either divide the rice among four serving plates, spoon the vindaloo alongside and pour the fried cashew nuts and mustard seeds over the vindaloo, or alternatively spoon the vindaloo into the centre of four wheat tortillas, sprinkle with chopped lettuce and soured cream and roll up into parcels.

Friday, November 23, 2012

23 - home and hair

Photo

Today I wondered off to my favourite hairdressers in my lunchbreak today. The lovely ladies at Cream Hair Design covered me in red hair dye, gave me a hand massage whilst it cooked, and then washed it out as I sat in a massage chair.

After that my locks were cut and blow dried into a new excitingly red bob. A throughly relaxing experience, and I was pleasantly surprised at how blue it makes my eyes look.

Tom is home. His verdict? "It's very red". He also lost me a few times this evening at the supermarket because he was looking for my old hair. I can't wait to see how it looks curly.

He's already put a few doors on the wall cupboards in the kitchen since being home. And we've already had our "you've been away and I've forgotten how to interact with you" fight. We've overcome that by having tasty tasty steak chilli for dinner.

I'm looking forward to my sister coming round for lunch tomorrow with her boyfriend, and lunch with Toddy at the weekend. And lots of snuggles with my lovely husband. Because I missed him.

23 - home and hair

Photo

Today I wondered off to my favourite hairdressers in my lunchbreak today. The lovely ladies at Cream Hair Design covered me in red hair dye, gave me a hand massage whilst it cooked, and then washed it out as I sat in a massage chair.

After that my locks were cut and blow dried into a new excitingly red bob. A throughly relaxing experience, and I was pleasantly surprised at how blue it makes my eyes look.

Tom is home. His verdict? "It's very red". He also lost me a few times this evening at the supermarket because he was looking for my old hair. I can't wait to see how it looks curly.

He's already put a few doors on the wall cupboards in the kitchen since being home. And we've already had our "you've been away and I've forgotten how to interact with you" fight. We've overcome that by having tasty tasty steak chilli for dinner.

I'm looking forward to my sister coming round for lunch tomorrow with her boyfriend, and lunch with Toddy at the weekend. And lots of snuggles with my lovely husband. Because I missed him.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

NaBloPoMo 22 - what do you know about human trafficking?


This evening, whilst we had our bible study on human trafficking, I was able to draw on experiences from my time at SCM to provide a small group in Southampton on human trafficking contacts at the University, and see spaces where I could alert friends and family to the signs of human trafficking. I'm thinking of my mum at playschool, where she might come across trafficked parents, or my mother in law who is a farmer who might encounter trafficked farm workers in her rural location.
You can't be alert to what you don't know about. People can be trafficked to work as sex workers, to work as slave labour, for organs, for benefit fraud, to run cannabis farms amongst other things.

70% of people trafficked to Britain are women, and 50% are children. I can't imagine being a child, away from home, in a strange place, being forced to work against my will. All to satisfy someone's greed.

If you work in a hotel, as a taxi driver or in the fast food industry, you're likely to see instances of trafficked people too.

This useful flyer from Stop the Traffik outlines what to look out for and gives numbers you can use to report incidences:

http://www.stopthetraffik.org/download.php?type=resource&id=111

I might not realise I'm seeing a trafficked person. We can't necessarily directly help trafficked people. Knowing how to respond as a Christian is hard. So I'm going to go with prayer, and education. If I can talk openly and honesty about what I learn, I never know who will be listening. I never know when I will be in the right place at the right time.

The sound of tonights heavy rain in Southampton

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

NaBloPoMo 21 - days

Waking up to the gentle bird song and trickling water of a smart alarm, I roll over into the space where he should be.

The stairs creak as I avoid DIY book left on them. The clothes are warm from the radiator.

I bring my laptop back to bed, and work snuggled under my duvet until lunchtime, as the house is still topsy turvy from doing up the kitchen. I chase people for records, solve Facebook problems and check copy.

At lunch, I scurry away, enjoy my new car on a short drive to my grandmother's house, and we disappear off to have a pub lunch. Something is very satisfying about reminiscing about childhood games, and going to work with her at the art gallery. We eat posh sandwiches and chocolate orange puddings. They come with space dust garnishes that make us laugh when they surprise us crackling in our mouth.

I come home to the quiet house, sigh at the piles of dust and things and tools, and go back to my computer. More chasing, more emails.

When 6pm rolls around, I've just had the satisfaction of knowing I've successfully trained someone over the phone to share content on different Facebook pages.

It's domesticity time. Crates of food and spaces make their way into the new kitchen. The plaster still isn't 100% dry yet, so no painting tonight. Washing up in the dishwasher, clothes in the washing machine. Secret Santa presents bought.

And so to here. Sat quietly, thinking about supper.



Tuesday, November 20, 2012

NaBloPoMo 20 - super chat and sadness

I'm currently feeling sad and angry the house of laity of the general synod of the Church of England did not pass the legislation to allow female bishops.

It did not pass by 6 votes.

I'm worried about the message this sends to the outside world, and to women in the church.

Who knows what God is up to. I'm sure she knows what she's doing. Perhaps she wants all us feminists to go and join the methodists, URC and quakers and it will be the start of a great ecumenical movement.

Whilst I seethe and sulk, have some lovely pictures of the stuffed squash Mel cooked for me this evening. It was lovely to talk to her and Ian this evening. Nothing like old and good friends.



Monday, November 19, 2012

NaBloPoMo 19 -autumn socks day

Here are some of this year's autumn socks.

What you mean you don't get socks on November 19th?

Quick start your own individual tradition.

And lo, the Tom did say "Autumn sucks." And the Alex said "No, autumn rocks."

And the Tom was confused and said "No, autumn socks".

Thus autumn socks day was born and happy socks were bought and exchanged for ever more.  For it is written, you can never have enough socks.

Especially stripy ones.


Sunday, November 18, 2012

NaBloPoMo 18 - weary and lonesome

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So here I am again, all alone. Tom's off in Loughborough for his work course again and the house feels awful big and quiet after it being filled with lovely working people all week.

The kitchen is looking good. I can start putting food back in it. It needs tiling, skirting boards, ends on the work tops, small walls painting, new cooker hood installing and cupboard doors for the wall cupboards. Which sounds like alot, but isn't really. I'm so pleased with how it looks especially the new sink and sexy tap.

I popped down to Westbury today to sing happy birthday to my dad. He was very pleased to see me and I had a cracking time chatting to both my parents in their cosy house.

Right, bed time.

NaBloPoMo 18 - weary and lonesome



So here I am again, all alone. Tom's off in Loughborough for his work course again and the house feels awful big and quiet after it being filled with lovely working people all week.
The kitchen is looking good. I can start putting food back in it. It needs tiling, skirting boards, ends on the work tops, small walls painting, new cooker hood installing and cupboard doors for the wall cupboards. Which sounds like alot, but isn't really. I'm so pleased with how it looks especially the new sink and sexy tap.
I popped down to Westbury today to sing happy birthday to my dad. He was very pleased to see me and I had a cracking time chatting to both my parents in their cosy house.
Right, bed time.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

NaBloPoMo 17 - are we there yet?

Well.

Drinking the night before you are supposed to be doing DIY isn't such a good idea.

Not that we were excessive.

Just we were all very tired this morning.

I did manage to get up to church to drop of my flower arrangements. There were some other lovely things. I hope they made enough money for the Christmas flower arrangements.

The kitchen is getting there. We now have a sink and a very glamorous tap. There are some cupboards and some drawers. All the wall cupboards are waiting to go up.

I am a bit ready for it to be finished now. Need to have one functioning downstairs room for Bible study on Thursday.

Still can't get over how lovely and useful our friends are. Even Tom's Mum and step dad came to help.






Friday, November 16, 2012

NaBloPoMo 16 - more flowers more friends.

Today, John, Sandy, Tom, Markets and I have been working hard. The first unit is in, the final cost of plaster is up, and the floor is done. The washing machine and the dishwasher are back in their rightful place.

I did a spot of flower arranging for a coffee morning this Saturday, band I think they came out nicely.

This evening we took our workers it for a thank you dinner. We had tasty tapas, sangria and cava at La Esquina. I had so much fun!