Sunday, February 20, 2005

And the sun sets on winter skies

And inside the small girl cries.

A week of things that I can't yet write. But we shall see.

I've started my driving lessons. Half the time I forget that I've never done this before, and then the rest? Well I sit there, arms tense beneath long sleeves trying to leave dents in the steering wheel with my thumbs. I nearly ran over a suicidal pheasant today. A Buzzard nearly flew in to my car. I can use third gear. I stop too soon at junctions.

I do feel free though. I know enough now that if I needed to run away, to go, I could steal a car and I'd know enough to comfortably cruise at 40mph whatever the speed limit like my Dad. Gear changing is instinctive, which scares me somewhat.

This week a head filling cold as filled my life with mucus, but it hasn't been that bad.

I stayed at Lizzy's on Sunday night. Some how it's good to find a girly friend to whom I don't have to explain poetry, or someone who feels okay to be quiet with me or cry at the sad bits without laughing. And there were plenty of sad bits in '100 greatest tearjerkers' on Channel 4 so we cried together. And it was grand.

Monday we got up early to go to a rehearsal at school that I left considerably early due to my ill health. Busy appears to be falling slowly and perftly apart with les than a month before curtain up. Still, the dancers will be perfect. Brew will expect nothing less so we, again may rescue the show.

Rob came over that after noon and we lay together on my floor, talking, holding each other, whilst he tried to convince me to stay at home. But I refused. After all it was Valentines day and he'd booked a table at a Chinese Restaurant in his home town. According to a newpaper article one of the most unromantic places to take a Valentine, but for us it was wonderful. Afterall it is the people around you, the atmosphere of a place and your own attitudes that define a romantic evening, and we can make going bowling or to KFC romantic, so we had a wonderful time.

We ordered a set menu and were greeted by a feast. A plate of little starters, like spring rolls, crispy seaweed, prawn seasame toasts, and spare ribs, then crispy aromatic duck with panckes and hoisin sauce. Then came rice with stir fried vegetables and sweet anf sour chicken. For me owever the piece de resistance was beef in a spicy black bean sauce that came to table very nearly done but was then poured onto a hot-stone platter and sizzled it's final chemical changes in front of us. Pure theatre and delicious to boot. I rounded the meal off with a deep fried ice cream, rather in the Baked Alaska line, replacing meringue with a batter made from egg whites and dessicated coconut. Hot on the outside, cool on the inside and a fitting end to a beautiful evening. What we said to each other doesn't matter. He made me happy.


Rob stayed in our front room that night and on Tuesday we spent the whole day together, playing talking, and watching films. I was too ill to go into school to do art see and so Rob looked after me like any good future husband would. He then took me into town so we could buy ingredients for the evenings entertainment.

The dinner party was a great sucess. Kudos to Lizzy for providing the house for the venue. 6 people, Nachos, Bacon and Kiwi salad, Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese parcels, Lasagne, Garlic Bread, Salad, were followed by a culinary triumph. Meringue Swans. [JON they were great]

Then came an abandoned game of Trivial Persuit, a half watched dvd of Wimbeldon, and Chocolate Fondue, Strawberries and Milkyway Buttons at 12:30am. We talked, we laughed, we swapped jokes. We teased Sam for patronising Sarah's efforts to serve the lasagne. Then we slept.

The morning brought dreary faces, and bacon sarnies. Rob and I managed to skip the cleaning with guilty conciences as he whisked me off to my departmental open day at Southampton Uni. We atelunch there bit only stopped for the talk. I wasn't well, and couldn't face walking around things I'd explored for myself the last open day. We missed the turnings on the way home for Rob to stop and buy his game in Southampton, and then Salisbury doesn't have a HMV as we found, having to pay 90p's parking for the privilage.

He left me at home and Thursday brought me in bed for most of the day feeling poorly. I worked in the evening thinking hard about work and nothing else and surprisingly the time flew by. Which reminds me I have to pick up my wage slip.

Friday Rob surprised me and took me to Bath on the spur of the moment. He bought his game and I bought a beautiful skirt. I bought Aloe flabour vaseline for my chapped lips. We ate KFC in the car park. It was grand. Then I went to his house, and knitted a bit whilst he played his game and we played it, and we cooked spagetti before going to music practice. Which was joke as we couln't get in for ages.

A rite of passage has been marked in our house. My biggest littel sister, Ellie, got her first pair of pointe shoes, [toe shoes] So last night saw me teaching her how to balance, all week I've been darning the toes of her shoes, as she can't do it, though she sewed the ribbons on herself. She's got that feeling of beinga real ballet dancer now. How she'll grow to love those shoes as they mark her feet, scar her, and cause toenails to fall off. Because when she sees herself in a mirror or on film, she won't see the blood or blisters, she'll see the make believe effortlessness of a corru across the floor and that will mkae it worth it.

And the sun sets on winter skies

And inside the small girl cries.

A week of things that I can't yet write. But we shall see.

I've started my driving lessons. Half the time I forget that I've never done this before, and then the rest? Well I sit there, arms tense beneath long sleeves trying to leave dents in the steering wheel with my thumbs. I nearly ran over a suicidal pheasant today. A Buzzard nearly flew in to my car. I can use third gear. I stop too soon at junctions.

I do feel free though. I know enough now that if I needed to run away, to go, I could steal a car and I'd know enough to comfortably cruise at 40mph whatever the speed limit like my Dad. Gear changing is instinctive, which scares me somewhat.

This week a head filling cold as filled my life with mucus, but it hasn't been that bad.

I stayed at Lizzy's on Sunday night. Some how it's good to find a girly friend to whom I don't have to explain poetry, or someone who feels okay to be quiet with me or cry at the sad bits without laughing. And there were plenty of sad bits in '100 greatest tearjerkers' on Channel 4 so we cried together. And it was grand.

Monday we got up early to go to a rehearsal at school that I left considerably early due to my ill health. Busy appears to be falling slowly and perftly apart with les than a month before curtain up. Still, the dancers will be perfect. Brew will expect nothing less so we, again may rescue the show.

Rob came over that after noon and we lay together on my floor, talking, holding each other, whilst he tried to convince me to stay at home. But I refused. After all it was Valentines day and he'd booked a table at a Chinese Restaurant in his home town. According to a newpaper article one of the most unromantic places to take a Valentine, but for us it was wonderful. Afterall it is the people around you, the atmosphere of a place and your own attitudes that define a romantic evening, and we can make going bowling or to KFC romantic, so we had a wonderful time.

We ordered a set menu and were greeted by a feast. A plate of little starters, like spring rolls, crispy seaweed, prawn seasame toasts, and spare ribs, then crispy aromatic duck with panckes and hoisin sauce. Then came rice with stir fried vegetables and sweet anf sour chicken. For me owever the piece de resistance was beef in a spicy black bean sauce that came to table very nearly done but was then poured onto a hot-stone platter and sizzled it's final chemical changes in front of us. Pure theatre and delicious to boot. I rounded the meal off with a deep fried ice cream, rather in the Baked Alaska line, replacing meringue with a batter made from egg whites and dessicated coconut. Hot on the outside, cool on the inside and a fitting end to a beautiful evening. What we said to each other doesn't matter. He made me happy.


Rob stayed in our front room that night and on Tuesday we spent the whole day together, playing talking, and watching films. I was too ill to go into school to do art see and so Rob looked after me like any good future husband would. He then took me into town so we could buy ingredients for the evenings entertainment.

The dinner party was a great sucess. Kudos to Lizzy for providing the house for the venue. 6 people, Nachos, Bacon and Kiwi salad, Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese parcels, Lasagne, Garlic Bread, Salad, were followed by a culinary triumph. Meringue Swans. [JON they were great]

Then came an abandoned game of Trivial Persuit, a half watched dvd of Wimbeldon, and Chocolate Fondue, Strawberries and Milkyway Buttons at 12:30am. We talked, we laughed, we swapped jokes. We teased Sam for patronising Sarah's efforts to serve the lasagne. Then we slept.

The morning brought dreary faces, and bacon sarnies. Rob and I managed to skip the cleaning with guilty conciences as he whisked me off to my departmental open day at Southampton Uni. We atelunch there bit only stopped for the talk. I wasn't well, and couldn't face walking around things I'd explored for myself the last open day. We missed the turnings on the way home for Rob to stop and buy his game in Southampton, and then Salisbury doesn't have a HMV as we found, having to pay 90p's parking for the privilage.

He left me at home and Thursday brought me in bed for most of the day feeling poorly. I worked in the evening thinking hard about work and nothing else and surprisingly the time flew by. Which reminds me I have to pick up my wage slip.

Friday Rob surprised me and took me to Bath on the spur of the moment. He bought his game and I bought a beautiful skirt. I bought Aloe flabour vaseline for my chapped lips. We ate KFC in the car park. It was grand. Then I went to his house, and knitted a bit whilst he played his game and we played it, and we cooked spagetti before going to music practice. Which was joke as we couln't get in for ages.

A rite of passage has been marked in our house. My biggest littel sister, Ellie, got her first pair of pointe shoes, [toe shoes] So last night saw me teaching her how to balance, all week I've been darning the toes of her shoes, as she can't do it, though she sewed the ribbons on herself. She's got that feeling of beinga real ballet dancer now. How she'll grow to love those shoes as they mark her feet, scar her, and cause toenails to fall off. Because when she sees herself in a mirror or on film, she won't see the blood or blisters, she'll see the make believe effortlessness of a corru across the floor and that will mkae it worth it.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Feeling the same way all over again.

Up and down I feel like I'm on a delicious roller coaster speeding towards my future.

Still knitting my art pictures, my baby jumper and numerous other things.

Ahh... Konstatine by Something Corporate. I love this and again it's on my speakers.

Since I last wrote.

I invited a dear friend to my church and whilst she wasn't miraculously converted she appeared to have got something from the service.
We all ate together afterwards because we had a visiting pastor and it was nuce to eat good food with friends.
Rob whisked me away to Bath after that, to the cinema and Pizza Hut for a treat. It's so nice to be spoiled so. We watched Oceans's 12. I loved the capoeria villian..:-)

This week at school nothing much of note happenned besides two things:-

I began organising our leavers ball. With the help of half the Sixth Form council. lol I just wrote the Sith Council. Hell yeah they're all part of the dark side...heheh

We're having a oriental theme for decorations but not for costumes. Chinese laterns from the ceiling, red baloons with gold chinese characters filled helium in the middle of the tables.

I've nearly finished what might be one of the best pieces of painting I've ever done.


I received a lovely painting of myself and a gorgeous rainbow scarf from Lori. For a person who has never met me you certainly know my taste. The scarf is so me, and the colours of the painting are my favourites.

Last night I had music practice for church and it was strange trying to sing witha sore throat. I also started to give a very much non singer some singing lessons o see if I could get her to sing in tune. Man is this going to be fun.

Rob treated me to a chinese last night too. He's really rather wonderful really. Don't you think?

Feeling the same way all over again.

Up and down I feel like I'm on a delicious roller coaster speeding towards my future.

Still knitting my art pictures, my baby jumper and numerous other things.

Ahh... Konstatine by Something Corporate. I love this and again it's on my speakers.

Since I last wrote.

I invited a dear friend to my church and whilst she wasn't miraculously converted she appeared to have got something from the service.
We all ate together afterwards because we had a visiting pastor and it was nuce to eat good food with friends.
Rob whisked me away to Bath after that, to the cinema and Pizza Hut for a treat. It's so nice to be spoiled so. We watched Oceans's 12. I loved the capoeria villian..:-)

This week at school nothing much of note happenned besides two things:-

I began organising our leavers ball. With the help of half the Sixth Form council. lol I just wrote the Sith Council. Hell yeah they're all part of the dark side...heheh

We're having a oriental theme for decorations but not for costumes. Chinese laterns from the ceiling, red baloons with gold chinese characters filled helium in the middle of the tables.

I've nearly finished what might be one of the best pieces of painting I've ever done.


I received a lovely painting of myself and a gorgeous rainbow scarf from Lori. For a person who has never met me you certainly know my taste. The scarf is so me, and the colours of the painting are my favourites.

Last night I had music practice for church and it was strange trying to sing witha sore throat. I also started to give a very much non singer some singing lessons o see if I could get her to sing in tune. Man is this going to be fun.

Rob treated me to a chinese last night too. He's really rather wonderful really. Don't you think?

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Well today...

Alex did these things....


Alex got up and plaited her hair whilst in bed waiting for the bathroom to be free.

This is okay as Alex cannot wash her hair everyday.

She gets triangle head.


Alex then managed to strip her bed - which is as high as a bunkbed - whilst sitting on it, and dropping approximately 10 books to the floor from ther reading pile on her bed.

She's reading 'Wild Swans', and Reagan's autobiography.


Alex went to dance today in her friends car. Friend is a very new but good driver. Alex enjoyed the extra minutes at home going with someone else who can't be organised by her mum provided.


Alex wanted to dance at her dance lesson today, but spent three hours providing suggestions for the costumes of her dance teachers show. Most of these were unacceptable. As the show is 'The Magician's Nephew', Alex is Aslan and gets a white shiny catsuit to be painted up, well, 'Cats' style.


Alex has bought a small bit of her wedding outfit today, made vegan brownies, and sticky, transparent, peppermint ice toffee, and found documents for her french research.


Alex also babysat and earn't money whilst fending off a scary dog, teachinga teenage boy how to get further on the the Bounce game provided on Nokia phones and plaiting a little girls hair.

Alex feels she sincerely rocks for this.


Alex also watched a while rugby match today for the first time and found her closet rugby fan. She almost understood it too. Alex feels sheepish for secretly rooting for Wales not England.


Alex is happy.


Again.


Got a Problem With That.


PS...Alex also knitted and frogged the same swatch x lots.


Well today...

Alex did these things....

Alex got up and plaited her hair whilst in bed waiting for the bathroom to be free.
This is okay as Alex cannot wash her hair everyday.
She gets triangle head.

Alex then managed to strip her bed - which is as high as a bunkbed - whilst sitting on it, and dropping approximately 10 books to the floor from ther reading pile on her bed.
She's reading 'Wild Swans', and Reagan's autobiography.

Alex went to dance today in her friends car. Friend is a very new but good driver. Alex enjoyed the extra minutes at home going with someone else who can't be organised by her mum provided.

Alex wanted to dance at her dance lesson today, but spent three hours providing suggestions for the costumes of her dance teachers show. Most of these were unacceptable. As the show is 'The Magician's Nephew', Alex is Aslan and gets a white shiny catsuit to be painted up, well, 'Cats' style.

Alex has bought a small bit of her wedding outfit today, made vegan brownies, and sticky, transparent, peppermint ice toffee, and found documents for her french research.

Alex also babysat and earn't money whilst fending off a scary dog, teachinga teenage boy how to get further on the the Bounce game provided on Nokia phones and plaiting a little girls hair.
Alex feels she sincerely rocks for this.

Alex also watched a while rugby match today for the first time and found her closet rugby fan. She almost understood it too. Alex feels sheepish for secretly rooting for Wales not England.

Alex is happy.

Again.

Got a Problem With That.

PS...Alex also knitted and frogged the same swatch x lots.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Yesterday,

I worked on my dance. It's going quite well, but I'm sure that my poor dancers are getting fed up with me. I am, by my own admittance, a hard task mistress. However this once, I'll let myself be as it's my Alevel and I want it to be good. Today I must work through the 'Grief' motif.


When i got in after a history lesson that almost bored me to sleep, I didn't do everything I thought I'd do. You know how it is you get in and get entraced by something, and then you're off on one. I did however use my mum'd cross stitch pattern generating program to make a knitting chart for a piece of art.


Yes a piece of art. I thought I'd marry my two loves in order to inspire me to actually do some art. It's working so far, and I've worked about two inches. Floowing my pattern is hard though as I stupidly printed it in black and white and am now unable to see the grid on the black sections. But I think I'll make it. Next tome I'll follow my mum's instructions and go for red and white or something so the black grid shows through.


It's being worked in black acrylic I found in a stash bag, and some shiny white acylic that looks as if it were hand spun, but isn't if that makes sense.


Lizzy finally emailed me the nice picture of me trying on wedding dresses when I went to Monsoon about a week after getting engaged. As I won't be buying them it doesn't matter if Rob sees so you can see them on a blog near you at some point.


Tonight I'm going to Robs again to cook, like last week. THis is a nice habit I'm getting into, and it makes me feel very happy.



YAY!



Yesterday,

I worked on my dance. It's going quite well, but I'm sure that my poor dancers are getting fed up with me. I am, by my own admittance, a hard task mistress. However this once, I'll let myself be as it's my Alevel and I want it to be good. Today I must work through the 'Grief' motif.

When i got in after a history lesson that almost bored me to sleep, I didn't do everything I thought I'd do. You know how it is you get in and get entraced by something, and then you're off on one. I did however use my mum'd cross stitch pattern generating program to make a knitting chart for a piece of art.

Yes a piece of art. I thought I'd marry my two loves in order to inspire me to actually do some art. It's working so far, and I've worked about two inches. Floowing my pattern is hard though as I stupidly printed it in black and white and am now unable to see the grid on the black sections. But I think I'll make it. Next tome I'll follow my mum's instructions and go for red and white or something so the black grid shows through.

It's being worked in black acrylic I found in a stash bag, and some shiny white acylic that looks as if it were hand spun, but isn't if that makes sense.

Lizzy finally emailed me the nice picture of me trying on wedding dresses when I went to Monsoon about a week after getting engaged. As I won't be buying them it doesn't matter if Rob sees so you can see them on a blog near you at some point.

Tonight I'm going to Robs again to cook, like last week. THis is a nice habit I'm getting into, and it makes me feel very happy.


YAY!


Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I'm moved

Listening to Konstantine - Something Corporate and crying my eyes out with happiness and sheer sadness.


It's moved me in an unknown way. I had an overwhelming desire to tell Rob how much i care for him, to show him that I'm so happy. I really really love him.



Today has been interesting. I went trampolining. I love that feel of freedom, of being in mid air.


I saw two yellow peugeots parked next to each other.


I observed what it's like to be totally smitten.


I'm so happy.


Self esteem = Success

--------

Expectation


I lowered my expectations and now i'm so much happier. I don't need to go to oxford to be happy. I don't need to get a phd to be happy. Can you aspire to mediocracy? In a meritocracy? Alain de Bottan is right. A rigid class system can leave people happier.


And somehow I know what my place should be.



:-)




I'm moved

Listening to Konstantine - Something Corporate and crying my eyes out with happiness and sheer sadness.

It's moved me in an unknown way. I had an overwhelming desire to tell Rob how much i care for him, to show him that I'm so happy. I really really love him.

Today has been interesting. I went trampolining. I love that feel of freedom, of being in mid air.

I saw two yellow peugeots parked next to each other.

I observed what it's like to be totally smitten.

I'm so happy.

Self esteem = Success
--------
Expectation

I lowered my expectations and now i'm so much happier. I don't need to go to oxford to be happy. I don't need to get a phd to be happy. Can you aspire to mediocracy? In a meritocracy? Alain de Bottan is right. A rigid class system can leave people happier.

And somehow I know what my place should be.


:-)