KELR+ Exp>+ SPM+ Steel++ Wood? Bam? Pl+ Cas? AddiT? Den? Boye?
Syn++ Nov++ Cot++ Wool Lux? Hemp? Stash+ Scale+ Fin>+ Ent? FI+>++ Int Tex>+++ Lace++ Felt?
Flat++ Circ+ DPN ML-- Swatch KIP++++ Blog SnB? EZ? FO15 WIP4 Gauge F--S DK++ WB>+++++
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Knit Geek Code
KELR+ Exp>+ SPM+ Steel++ Wood? Bam? Pl+ Cas? AddiT? Den? Boye?
Syn++ Nov++ Cot++ Wool Lux? Hemp? Stash+ Scale+ Fin>+ Ent? FI+>++ Int Tex>+++ Lace++ Felt?
Flat++ Circ+ DPN ML-- Swatch KIP++++ Blog SnB? EZ? FO15 WIP4 Gauge F--S DK++ WB>+++++
Syn++ Nov++ Cot++ Wool Lux? Hemp? Stash+ Scale+ Fin>+ Ent? FI+>++ Int Tex>+++ Lace++ Felt?
Flat++ Circ+ DPN ML-- Swatch KIP++++ Blog SnB? EZ? FO15 WIP4 Gauge F--S DK++ WB>+++++
Monday, December 27, 2004
Christmas in pictures.
My two little cousins above and below.
Views around the dinner table.
Stash enhancement Santa Style.
Christmas in pictures.
My two little cousins above and below.
Views around the dinner table.
Stash enhancement Santa Style.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I am so proud.
Today after buying the last of my christmas presents, I also bought a cheapo digital camera. Lots of Knitting photos coming your way.
I also worked out how to install all the drivers from a cd that wouldn't sutirun like a nice child.
I am proud.
Today was a good day. I finished a baby hat for a teacher who is dear to me and expecting a boy in March. It's small and red, from a free internet patter, with a lovely eyelet detail.
And........
I went to see Rob and had a nice time talking and playing Age of Wonders. What with one thing and another, and me being ill and stressed we've been getting snappy with each other lately, but today things were back to normal, and I was a fidigit, trying not to sit, bounce or fall on Rob's leg in my fidgityness. Life is okay again. Prayers for Rob's leg always welcome...thanks Uncle K.
I also worked out how to install all the drivers from a cd that wouldn't sutirun like a nice child.
I am proud.
Today was a good day. I finished a baby hat for a teacher who is dear to me and expecting a boy in March. It's small and red, from a free internet patter, with a lovely eyelet detail.
And........
I went to see Rob and had a nice time talking and playing Age of Wonders. What with one thing and another, and me being ill and stressed we've been getting snappy with each other lately, but today things were back to normal, and I was a fidigit, trying not to sit, bounce or fall on Rob's leg in my fidgityness. Life is okay again. Prayers for Rob's leg always welcome...thanks Uncle K.
I am so proud.
Today after buying the last of my christmas presents, I also bought a cheapo digital camera. Lots of Knitting photos coming your way.
I also worked out how to install all the drivers from a cd that wouldn't sutirun like a nice child.
I am proud.
Today was a good day. I finished a baby hat for a teacher who is dear to me and expecting a boy in March. It's small and red, from a free internet patter, with a lovely eyelet detail.
And........
I went to see Rob and had a nice time talking and playing Age of Wonders. What with one thing and another, and me being ill and stressed we've been getting snappy with each other lately, but today things were back to normal, and I was a fidigit, trying not to sit, bounce or fall on Rob's leg in my fidgityness. Life is okay again. Prayers for Rob's leg always welcome...thanks Uncle K.
I also worked out how to install all the drivers from a cd that wouldn't sutirun like a nice child.
I am proud.
Today was a good day. I finished a baby hat for a teacher who is dear to me and expecting a boy in March. It's small and red, from a free internet patter, with a lovely eyelet detail.
And........
I went to see Rob and had a nice time talking and playing Age of Wonders. What with one thing and another, and me being ill and stressed we've been getting snappy with each other lately, but today things were back to normal, and I was a fidigit, trying not to sit, bounce or fall on Rob's leg in my fidgityness. Life is okay again. Prayers for Rob's leg always welcome...thanks Uncle K.
Monday, December 20, 2004
poem
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
poem
-->As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
John Donne
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
poem
-->As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
poem
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
poem
-->As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
John Donne
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
poem
-->As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant,
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
I need to pluck my eyebrows!
They look so unruly. I have just been looking at pictures of myself dressed up as a punk. The untidy eyebrows just spoilt the look a little, needed to be carefully sculpted arcs. Yet the make up really did suit me and I may just wear the lippy tonight to freak some people out at the church Christmas meal tonight.
Over the weekend I have been pooorrrrrrrllllllllly. With the type of fever you thought you grew out of when your were 9. Hot, Cold, Shakey, Tired, Achey. Saturday I fought it and fought it like a tropper because I was determined to dance. I'm like that. Paracetamol kind of kept it at bay for the most part. I went to Rob's to see him and as I was feel so rough I was really quite ratty. Sorry Rob.
Then after some more medicine I was okay, and we went to the church Christmas party where I danced to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker. Although I went wrong 4 times, and Rob is honest self said he saw me go wrong twice, everyone else seemed entranced. My turns were off as teething for wisdom's sake was interferring with my balance. I don't think many people had seen ballet in real life and up close before. That's what made me far me scared there than on stage on Wednesday at the Dance Night at school. Everyone was a minimum of a metre away fom me! I could see their faces as a danced. I'm not used to that. Normally lights are glaring in your face, and the audience a distant mile away.
Yesterday I slept all day. And listened to alot of Radio 4 in between glasses of cranberry juice and water. A child had won a competition on a Children's programme to have his story read by Michael Murporgeo(sp?) the Children's Laureate. He had this one sentence that stuck in my head all day.
"It was really - properly - actually dark!"
The other highlights were a very silly game of 'I'm sorry I haven't a Clue' and the composers of the new music in the new Mary Poppins musical performing their own rendition of Practically Perfect. I also got some good knitting in.
Wednesday was the dance night and it was lovely. Relatively stress free from my perspective, very slick. And all my performance went well. It was like all other up to that point were rehearsals and rehearsals only. I was barely even aware I was performing, just enjoying moving across the stage.
Going on to the 6th Form Christmas Party, I found that my fellow students were more mature than I gave them credit and nothing went majorly wrong. I really enjoyed the nice atmosphere, and even Rob sat with his leg propped up seemed to as well.
I'm a little cross this morning due to unreliable people but that can't be helped. Rob must be right trust no one!
Over the weekend I have been pooorrrrrrrllllllllly. With the type of fever you thought you grew out of when your were 9. Hot, Cold, Shakey, Tired, Achey. Saturday I fought it and fought it like a tropper because I was determined to dance. I'm like that. Paracetamol kind of kept it at bay for the most part. I went to Rob's to see him and as I was feel so rough I was really quite ratty. Sorry Rob.
Then after some more medicine I was okay, and we went to the church Christmas party where I danced to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker. Although I went wrong 4 times, and Rob is honest self said he saw me go wrong twice, everyone else seemed entranced. My turns were off as teething for wisdom's sake was interferring with my balance. I don't think many people had seen ballet in real life and up close before. That's what made me far me scared there than on stage on Wednesday at the Dance Night at school. Everyone was a minimum of a metre away fom me! I could see their faces as a danced. I'm not used to that. Normally lights are glaring in your face, and the audience a distant mile away.
Yesterday I slept all day. And listened to alot of Radio 4 in between glasses of cranberry juice and water. A child had won a competition on a Children's programme to have his story read by Michael Murporgeo(sp?) the Children's Laureate. He had this one sentence that stuck in my head all day.
"It was really - properly - actually dark!"
The other highlights were a very silly game of 'I'm sorry I haven't a Clue' and the composers of the new music in the new Mary Poppins musical performing their own rendition of Practically Perfect. I also got some good knitting in.
Wednesday was the dance night and it was lovely. Relatively stress free from my perspective, very slick. And all my performance went well. It was like all other up to that point were rehearsals and rehearsals only. I was barely even aware I was performing, just enjoying moving across the stage.
Going on to the 6th Form Christmas Party, I found that my fellow students were more mature than I gave them credit and nothing went majorly wrong. I really enjoyed the nice atmosphere, and even Rob sat with his leg propped up seemed to as well.
I'm a little cross this morning due to unreliable people but that can't be helped. Rob must be right trust no one!
I need to pluck my eyebrows!
They look so unruly. I have just been looking at pictures of myself dressed up as a punk. The untidy eyebrows just spoilt the look a little, needed to be carefully sculpted arcs. Yet the make up really did suit me and I may just wear the lippy tonight to freak some people out at the church Christmas meal tonight.
Over the weekend I have been pooorrrrrrrllllllllly. With the type of fever you thought you grew out of when your were 9. Hot, Cold, Shakey, Tired, Achey. Saturday I fought it and fought it like a tropper because I was determined to dance. I'm like that. Paracetamol kind of kept it at bay for the most part. I went to Rob's to see him and as I was feel so rough I was really quite ratty. Sorry Rob.
Then after some more medicine I was okay, and we went to the church Christmas party where I danced to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker. Although I went wrong 4 times, and Rob is honest self said he saw me go wrong twice, everyone else seemed entranced. My turns were off as teething for wisdom's sake was interferring with my balance. I don't think many people had seen ballet in real life and up close before. That's what made me far me scared there than on stage on Wednesday at the Dance Night at school. Everyone was a minimum of a metre away fom me! I could see their faces as a danced. I'm not used to that. Normally lights are glaring in your face, and the audience a distant mile away.
Yesterday I slept all day. And listened to alot of Radio 4 in between glasses of cranberry juice and water. A child had won a competition on a Children's programme to have his story read by Michael Murporgeo(sp?) the Children's Laureate. He had this one sentence that stuck in my head all day.
"It was really - properly - actually dark!"
The other highlights were a very silly game of 'I'm sorry I haven't a Clue' and the composers of the new music in the new Mary Poppins musical performing their own rendition of Practically Perfect. I also got some good knitting in.
Wednesday was the dance night and it was lovely. Relatively stress free from my perspective, very slick. And all my performance went well. It was like all other up to that point were rehearsals and rehearsals only. I was barely even aware I was performing, just enjoying moving across the stage.
Going on to the 6th Form Christmas Party, I found that my fellow students were more mature than I gave them credit and nothing went majorly wrong. I really enjoyed the nice atmosphere, and even Rob sat with his leg propped up seemed to as well.
I'm a little cross this morning due to unreliable people but that can't be helped. Rob must be right trust no one!
Over the weekend I have been pooorrrrrrrllllllllly. With the type of fever you thought you grew out of when your were 9. Hot, Cold, Shakey, Tired, Achey. Saturday I fought it and fought it like a tropper because I was determined to dance. I'm like that. Paracetamol kind of kept it at bay for the most part. I went to Rob's to see him and as I was feel so rough I was really quite ratty. Sorry Rob.
Then after some more medicine I was okay, and we went to the church Christmas party where I danced to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker. Although I went wrong 4 times, and Rob is honest self said he saw me go wrong twice, everyone else seemed entranced. My turns were off as teething for wisdom's sake was interferring with my balance. I don't think many people had seen ballet in real life and up close before. That's what made me far me scared there than on stage on Wednesday at the Dance Night at school. Everyone was a minimum of a metre away fom me! I could see their faces as a danced. I'm not used to that. Normally lights are glaring in your face, and the audience a distant mile away.
Yesterday I slept all day. And listened to alot of Radio 4 in between glasses of cranberry juice and water. A child had won a competition on a Children's programme to have his story read by Michael Murporgeo(sp?) the Children's Laureate. He had this one sentence that stuck in my head all day.
"It was really - properly - actually dark!"
The other highlights were a very silly game of 'I'm sorry I haven't a Clue' and the composers of the new music in the new Mary Poppins musical performing their own rendition of Practically Perfect. I also got some good knitting in.
Wednesday was the dance night and it was lovely. Relatively stress free from my perspective, very slick. And all my performance went well. It was like all other up to that point were rehearsals and rehearsals only. I was barely even aware I was performing, just enjoying moving across the stage.
Going on to the 6th Form Christmas Party, I found that my fellow students were more mature than I gave them credit and nothing went majorly wrong. I really enjoyed the nice atmosphere, and even Rob sat with his leg propped up seemed to as well.
I'm a little cross this morning due to unreliable people but that can't be helped. Rob must be right trust no one!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Some knitting!
This is the start of a ruffle edged hat....
This is the matching a scarf for the hat, it's going to
be a fraternal set with identical twin fringing.
This is a gratuitious shot of my cables from the scarf for a teacher.
I just like it.
No1..
Or No2...
Or No3....
Yes I'm trying to decide what to wear for tomorrow's Christmas party...What do you guys think?
Some knitting!
This is the start of a ruffle edged hat....
This is the matching a scarf for the hat, it's going to
be a fraternal set with identical twin fringing.
This is a gratuitious shot of my cables from the scarf for a teacher.
I just like it.
No1..
Or No2...
Or No3....
Yes I'm trying to decide what to wear for tomorrow's Christmas party...What do you guys think?
Saturday, December 11, 2004
You always think it won't happen to you.
Then it does.
Last night coming home from work, Rob was involved with an accident. He was driving behind a car approaching a junction. The car was turning into the junction, just as another car was turning out of the junction.
This last car didn't see Rob and pulled out. Rob hit the back/side of the car and rolled across the road. His bike is a write off. Forks are bent, exhausts trashed, there's a hole where something should be in the engine.
Rob himself is okay. He grazed his left shin pretty badly, and the lower leg has swollen up. As I speak he and Triss are off to the RUH in Bath to get it x - rayed as it's probably broken. He can't walk on it.
So no biking for Rob for a while. No going to Christmas parties, no Christmas shopping. No picking me upon boxing day. Some guy in a Saab 95 just wrecked Rob's independence for 2 months simply by not looking right twice.
Thank God he was braking and only going 30 - 40 mph. Any faster and he'd probably be a goner.
The insurance company are sorting everything out. New bike most likely.
Last night I just broke down. It was relief more than anything. In one fleeting moment I realised Rob's mortal too. And he won't be here for ever. The one I love will disappear. And memories won't me enough. God
I'm welling up already.
Part of it is selfishness. All the nice things we planned are wrecked now or just going to be really difficult to organise. He was going to watch me dance for the first time of his own volition. He was going to dance with me at the Christmas party. We were going Christmas shopping. I know we have many more Christmases to come, but this one was turning out so nicely. Bloody Saab driver. I hope he has a crappy Christmas too.
I feel crap for feeling all this. I'm such a crappy fiancee really.
In one little moment it was like my world came apart. I could have lost him. Not had him. His cheeky grin. His heart. I wouldn't see him progress, get somewhere, do all the things he wanted. We wouldn't share a life. He wouldn'r fufill his dreams.
And the other part is sheer fear. I don't want to loose him. I don't want a life without him. All this has made me realise I am contemplating 5 to 20 years after his death in the future alone. Without the only person who understands me. Who knows me. And somehow I can't draw spiritual comfort. Fair enough God have have you in his hands, but he can't hug you in the same way, or share you in joke or grip your hand reassuringly.
Rob keeps telling me to stop freaking out. And I suppose he'll never know this huge relief I'm feeling that I've still got him here for a few more years. I just ant to cry without having good reason to. I can't speak about it easily. Mum is so insensitive about it. I came home to say he's gone to be x - rayed and she's like oh well you'll just have to wheelchair him about. Rob is to proud and to stubborn to let me to that. He didn't even want Triss and I helping him into the hospital. He wouldn't let me do that, it would humiliate him.
Dad's killing me with kindness. He means well, saying he'll pick me up and stuff, but that'll just get him and me in trouble with mum, which I can't deal with ATM. He keeps asking about the accident and whether Rob's gone to the police or phoned the insurance. I was short with him a minute ago saying, look Rob Triss and Alan know what they're doing. There's nothing I can do.
That's the other thing. There is nothing I can do to help. I can't drive so I can't transport Rob around. I have offered to loan him some out my savings so he get stuff sorted. He won't accept that though.
All this crap because of one careless driver.
I urge all of you to look right (or left if you're in the US) and then look again as you're turning out a junction. Forget that and you could cause a situation far worse than the one Rob's in.
Last night coming home from work, Rob was involved with an accident. He was driving behind a car approaching a junction. The car was turning into the junction, just as another car was turning out of the junction.
This last car didn't see Rob and pulled out. Rob hit the back/side of the car and rolled across the road. His bike is a write off. Forks are bent, exhausts trashed, there's a hole where something should be in the engine.
Rob himself is okay. He grazed his left shin pretty badly, and the lower leg has swollen up. As I speak he and Triss are off to the RUH in Bath to get it x - rayed as it's probably broken. He can't walk on it.
So no biking for Rob for a while. No going to Christmas parties, no Christmas shopping. No picking me upon boxing day. Some guy in a Saab 95 just wrecked Rob's independence for 2 months simply by not looking right twice.
Thank God he was braking and only going 30 - 40 mph. Any faster and he'd probably be a goner.
The insurance company are sorting everything out. New bike most likely.
Last night I just broke down. It was relief more than anything. In one fleeting moment I realised Rob's mortal too. And he won't be here for ever. The one I love will disappear. And memories won't me enough. God
I'm welling up already.
Part of it is selfishness. All the nice things we planned are wrecked now or just going to be really difficult to organise. He was going to watch me dance for the first time of his own volition. He was going to dance with me at the Christmas party. We were going Christmas shopping. I know we have many more Christmases to come, but this one was turning out so nicely. Bloody Saab driver. I hope he has a crappy Christmas too.
I feel crap for feeling all this. I'm such a crappy fiancee really.
In one little moment it was like my world came apart. I could have lost him. Not had him. His cheeky grin. His heart. I wouldn't see him progress, get somewhere, do all the things he wanted. We wouldn't share a life. He wouldn'r fufill his dreams.
And the other part is sheer fear. I don't want to loose him. I don't want a life without him. All this has made me realise I am contemplating 5 to 20 years after his death in the future alone. Without the only person who understands me. Who knows me. And somehow I can't draw spiritual comfort. Fair enough God have have you in his hands, but he can't hug you in the same way, or share you in joke or grip your hand reassuringly.
Rob keeps telling me to stop freaking out. And I suppose he'll never know this huge relief I'm feeling that I've still got him here for a few more years. I just ant to cry without having good reason to. I can't speak about it easily. Mum is so insensitive about it. I came home to say he's gone to be x - rayed and she's like oh well you'll just have to wheelchair him about. Rob is to proud and to stubborn to let me to that. He didn't even want Triss and I helping him into the hospital. He wouldn't let me do that, it would humiliate him.
Dad's killing me with kindness. He means well, saying he'll pick me up and stuff, but that'll just get him and me in trouble with mum, which I can't deal with ATM. He keeps asking about the accident and whether Rob's gone to the police or phoned the insurance. I was short with him a minute ago saying, look Rob Triss and Alan know what they're doing. There's nothing I can do.
That's the other thing. There is nothing I can do to help. I can't drive so I can't transport Rob around. I have offered to loan him some out my savings so he get stuff sorted. He won't accept that though.
All this crap because of one careless driver.
I urge all of you to look right (or left if you're in the US) and then look again as you're turning out a junction. Forget that and you could cause a situation far worse than the one Rob's in.
You always think it won't happen to you.
Then it does.
Last night coming home from work, Rob was involved with an accident. He was driving behind a car approaching a junction. The car was turning into the junction, just as another car was turning out of the junction.
This last car didn't see Rob and pulled out. Rob hit the back/side of the car and rolled across the road. His bike is a write off. Forks are bent, exhausts trashed, there's a hole where something should be in the engine.
Rob himself is okay. He grazed his left shin pretty badly, and the lower leg has swollen up. As I speak he and Triss are off to the RUH in Bath to get it x - rayed as it's probably broken. He can't walk on it.
So no biking for Rob for a while. No going to Christmas parties, no Christmas shopping. No picking me upon boxing day. Some guy in a Saab 95 just wrecked Rob's independence for 2 months simply by not looking right twice.
Thank God he was braking and only going 30 - 40 mph. Any faster and he'd probably be a goner.
The insurance company are sorting everything out. New bike most likely.
Last night I just broke down. It was relief more than anything. In one fleeting moment I realised Rob's mortal too. And he won't be here for ever. The one I love will disappear. And memories won't me enough. God
I'm welling up already.
Part of it is selfishness. All the nice things we planned are wrecked now or just going to be really difficult to organise. He was going to watch me dance for the first time of his own volition. He was going to dance with me at the Christmas party. We were going Christmas shopping. I know we have many more Christmases to come, but this one was turning out so nicely. Bloody Saab driver. I hope he has a crappy Christmas too.
I feel crap for feeling all this. I'm such a crappy fiancee really.
In one little moment it was like my world came apart. I could have lost him. Not had him. His cheeky grin. His heart. I wouldn't see him progress, get somewhere, do all the things he wanted. We wouldn't share a life. He wouldn'r fufill his dreams.
And the other part is sheer fear. I don't want to loose him. I don't want a life without him. All this has made me realise I am contemplating 5 to 20 years after his death in the future alone. Without the only person who understands me. Who knows me. And somehow I can't draw spiritual comfort. Fair enough God have have you in his hands, but he can't hug you in the same way, or share you in joke or grip your hand reassuringly.
Rob keeps telling me to stop freaking out. And I suppose he'll never know this huge relief I'm feeling that I've still got him here for a few more years. I just ant to cry without having good reason to. I can't speak about it easily. Mum is so insensitive about it. I came home to say he's gone to be x - rayed and she's like oh well you'll just have to wheelchair him about. Rob is to proud and to stubborn to let me to that. He didn't even want Triss and I helping him into the hospital. He wouldn't let me do that, it would humiliate him.
Dad's killing me with kindness. He means well, saying he'll pick me up and stuff, but that'll just get him and me in trouble with mum, which I can't deal with ATM. He keeps asking about the accident and whether Rob's gone to the police or phoned the insurance. I was short with him a minute ago saying, look Rob Triss and Alan know what they're doing. There's nothing I can do.
That's the other thing. There is nothing I can do to help. I can't drive so I can't transport Rob around. I have offered to loan him some out my savings so he get stuff sorted. He won't accept that though.
All this crap because of one careless driver.
I urge all of you to look right (or left if you're in the US) and then look again as you're turning out a junction. Forget that and you could cause a situation far worse than the one Rob's in.
Last night coming home from work, Rob was involved with an accident. He was driving behind a car approaching a junction. The car was turning into the junction, just as another car was turning out of the junction.
This last car didn't see Rob and pulled out. Rob hit the back/side of the car and rolled across the road. His bike is a write off. Forks are bent, exhausts trashed, there's a hole where something should be in the engine.
Rob himself is okay. He grazed his left shin pretty badly, and the lower leg has swollen up. As I speak he and Triss are off to the RUH in Bath to get it x - rayed as it's probably broken. He can't walk on it.
So no biking for Rob for a while. No going to Christmas parties, no Christmas shopping. No picking me upon boxing day. Some guy in a Saab 95 just wrecked Rob's independence for 2 months simply by not looking right twice.
Thank God he was braking and only going 30 - 40 mph. Any faster and he'd probably be a goner.
The insurance company are sorting everything out. New bike most likely.
Last night I just broke down. It was relief more than anything. In one fleeting moment I realised Rob's mortal too. And he won't be here for ever. The one I love will disappear. And memories won't me enough. God
I'm welling up already.
Part of it is selfishness. All the nice things we planned are wrecked now or just going to be really difficult to organise. He was going to watch me dance for the first time of his own volition. He was going to dance with me at the Christmas party. We were going Christmas shopping. I know we have many more Christmases to come, but this one was turning out so nicely. Bloody Saab driver. I hope he has a crappy Christmas too.
I feel crap for feeling all this. I'm such a crappy fiancee really.
In one little moment it was like my world came apart. I could have lost him. Not had him. His cheeky grin. His heart. I wouldn't see him progress, get somewhere, do all the things he wanted. We wouldn't share a life. He wouldn'r fufill his dreams.
And the other part is sheer fear. I don't want to loose him. I don't want a life without him. All this has made me realise I am contemplating 5 to 20 years after his death in the future alone. Without the only person who understands me. Who knows me. And somehow I can't draw spiritual comfort. Fair enough God have have you in his hands, but he can't hug you in the same way, or share you in joke or grip your hand reassuringly.
Rob keeps telling me to stop freaking out. And I suppose he'll never know this huge relief I'm feeling that I've still got him here for a few more years. I just ant to cry without having good reason to. I can't speak about it easily. Mum is so insensitive about it. I came home to say he's gone to be x - rayed and she's like oh well you'll just have to wheelchair him about. Rob is to proud and to stubborn to let me to that. He didn't even want Triss and I helping him into the hospital. He wouldn't let me do that, it would humiliate him.
Dad's killing me with kindness. He means well, saying he'll pick me up and stuff, but that'll just get him and me in trouble with mum, which I can't deal with ATM. He keeps asking about the accident and whether Rob's gone to the police or phoned the insurance. I was short with him a minute ago saying, look Rob Triss and Alan know what they're doing. There's nothing I can do.
That's the other thing. There is nothing I can do to help. I can't drive so I can't transport Rob around. I have offered to loan him some out my savings so he get stuff sorted. He won't accept that though.
All this crap because of one careless driver.
I urge all of you to look right (or left if you're in the US) and then look again as you're turning out a junction. Forget that and you could cause a situation far worse than the one Rob's in.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Proper entry is coming, but this is the good news!
380 points needed to go to Southampton from 4 Alevels. A B = 100 points so I'm looking at having to get BBBC or higher to go to Southampton, my top choice university. YAYAYAYAYAY
Proper entry is coming, but this is the good news!
380 points needed to go to Southampton from 4 Alevels. A B = 100 points so I'm looking at having to get BBBC or higher to go to Southampton, my top choice university. YAYAYAYAYAY
Monday, November 29, 2004
I always think I have nothing to write and then....
I do!
Crisp cold morning. Beautiful. The condensation in the computer room is making hills and vallies/valleys on the windows. I feel strangly calm today even though it's only a week to the mock exams. I'll revise in a minute. But first my weekend.
Friday I picked up my wages, thought "Sod it!" and decided to spend them instead. And surprise Rob at the same time. I'm such a multi tasker! Trawling through town in my lunch 40 mins, [note not a lunch hour but a lunch 40 mins :-( ] I checked out the newst restaurant/cafe/bar. 'Bushbaby and I' is run by some South Africans, and all the food is sourced from SA. The menu is delicious sounding. So I thought after music practice I'd take him there, do it US style and go out for dessert. Or pudding as we British say.
My plan was nearly foiled when Rob rang to say that he'd only be seeing me for an hour after music practice as his Dad had the car and he couldn't bring a bass and a violin to Westbury on the bike, so he was coming with his mum and going back with her after she'd finished at prayer. "Bother" said I.
However God was smiling on me in a humourous way, and we were unable to do music practice as someone was cleaning the hall during our slot so we had an extra half hour or so.
When we got to the restaurant, it was empty so they were quite okay with us just ordering puddings. I had twice baked redcurrant cheesecake, Rob some rediculously alcoholic milkshake thing called a 'Dom Pedro'. Rob [like he likes to do ;-)] caused a little hassle by ordering a Baileys, and the poor staff were unsure as to whether they had any and went running around the building to find some. Which they did. And Rob was happy. I had some very nice cider with my cheesecake. I blame my Gran for giving me the taste for cider. She likes it at Christmas.
We had a lovely evening talking, and eating, especially when our nice waitress provided some complimentary chocolates.
Saturday was also lovely. At dance I worked really hard on my piece for the church Christmas Party. I'm doing a little ballet solo to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker Suite. It's going quite well and I have a minute left to choreograph. My dance teacher has lent me a royal blue tutu skirt which I shal wear either with my long sleeve black leo or if it still fits a sparklely royal blue one I have somewhere at home. Which is a point I must practice that tonight.
Then I went home and knitted. Yes folks she knitted . Quite alot. Working on the blue cabled scarf and crocheted hat. Both I am proud to report are finished and pics are coming to a blog near you soon.
Rob and the MILTB picked me up at half 2ish anfd we went to find the new cinema in Bath. After a scary parking incident where some poor girl had to reverse down ramps and around corners, we did find a space and we did eventually find the cinema. It's very new and very nice bu the prices are extorsionate. Having missed the orginal showing we went for, we went o get FILTB's present and rushed back ready for the INCREDIBLES!
Which literally is incredible. I urge you all to go and see it and I refuse to spoil the story for you. I have to say that PIXAR excelled themselves on animating people very well and the whol ^0's classic feel does just the job.
KFC on the way home topped a great day. And Rob taught me how to use a Mixman digital Dj type thing program which was also cool.
I got up early on Sunday. And I did all my work for the weekend before church!! That was also very very cool:-) which meant Rob could come over for lunch. I could go to the lovely candle lit advent service with no electricity and Spend the evening with Rob.
I'm a happy bunny.
There is a new project in the knitting mix.a scarf for Verity's pressie done in amazing Snowflake self striping yarn that is just sooooooooooooooooo soft. But slippy on the needles.
Crisp cold morning. Beautiful. The condensation in the computer room is making hills and vallies/valleys on the windows. I feel strangly calm today even though it's only a week to the mock exams. I'll revise in a minute. But first my weekend.
Friday I picked up my wages, thought "Sod it!" and decided to spend them instead. And surprise Rob at the same time. I'm such a multi tasker! Trawling through town in my lunch 40 mins, [note not a lunch hour but a lunch 40 mins :-( ] I checked out the newst restaurant/cafe/bar. 'Bushbaby and I' is run by some South Africans, and all the food is sourced from SA. The menu is delicious sounding. So I thought after music practice I'd take him there, do it US style and go out for dessert. Or pudding as we British say.
My plan was nearly foiled when Rob rang to say that he'd only be seeing me for an hour after music practice as his Dad had the car and he couldn't bring a bass and a violin to Westbury on the bike, so he was coming with his mum and going back with her after she'd finished at prayer. "Bother" said I.
However God was smiling on me in a humourous way, and we were unable to do music practice as someone was cleaning the hall during our slot so we had an extra half hour or so.
When we got to the restaurant, it was empty so they were quite okay with us just ordering puddings. I had twice baked redcurrant cheesecake, Rob some rediculously alcoholic milkshake thing called a 'Dom Pedro'. Rob [like he likes to do ;-)] caused a little hassle by ordering a Baileys, and the poor staff were unsure as to whether they had any and went running around the building to find some. Which they did. And Rob was happy. I had some very nice cider with my cheesecake. I blame my Gran for giving me the taste for cider. She likes it at Christmas.
We had a lovely evening talking, and eating, especially when our nice waitress provided some complimentary chocolates.
Saturday was also lovely. At dance I worked really hard on my piece for the church Christmas Party. I'm doing a little ballet solo to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker Suite. It's going quite well and I have a minute left to choreograph. My dance teacher has lent me a royal blue tutu skirt which I shal wear either with my long sleeve black leo or if it still fits a sparklely royal blue one I have somewhere at home. Which is a point I must practice that tonight.
Then I went home and knitted. Yes folks she knitted . Quite alot. Working on the blue cabled scarf and crocheted hat. Both I am proud to report are finished and pics are coming to a blog near you soon.
Rob and the MILTB picked me up at half 2ish anfd we went to find the new cinema in Bath. After a scary parking incident where some poor girl had to reverse down ramps and around corners, we did find a space and we did eventually find the cinema. It's very new and very nice bu the prices are extorsionate. Having missed the orginal showing we went for, we went o get FILTB's present and rushed back ready for the INCREDIBLES!
Which literally is incredible. I urge you all to go and see it and I refuse to spoil the story for you. I have to say that PIXAR excelled themselves on animating people very well and the whol ^0's classic feel does just the job.
KFC on the way home topped a great day. And Rob taught me how to use a Mixman digital Dj type thing program which was also cool.
I got up early on Sunday. And I did all my work for the weekend before church!! That was also very very cool:-) which meant Rob could come over for lunch. I could go to the lovely candle lit advent service with no electricity and Spend the evening with Rob.
I'm a happy bunny.
There is a new project in the knitting mix.a scarf for Verity's pressie done in amazing Snowflake self striping yarn that is just sooooooooooooooooo soft. But slippy on the needles.
I always think I have nothing to write and then....
I do!
Crisp cold morning. Beautiful. The condensation in the computer room is making hills and vallies/valleys on the windows. I feel strangly calm today even though it's only a week to the mock exams. I'll revise in a minute. But first my weekend.
Friday I picked up my wages, thought "Sod it!" and decided to spend them instead. And surprise Rob at the same time. I'm such a multi tasker! Trawling through town in my lunch 40 mins, [note not a lunch hour but a lunch 40 mins :-( ] I checked out the newst restaurant/cafe/bar. 'Bushbaby and I' is run by some South Africans, and all the food is sourced from SA. The menu is delicious sounding. So I thought after music practice I'd take him there, do it US style and go out for dessert. Or pudding as we British say.
My plan was nearly foiled when Rob rang to say that he'd only be seeing me for an hour after music practice as his Dad had the car and he couldn't bring a bass and a violin to Westbury on the bike, so he was coming with his mum and going back with her after she'd finished at prayer. "Bother" said I.
However God was smiling on me in a humourous way, and we were unable to do music practice as someone was cleaning the hall during our slot so we had an extra half hour or so.
When we got to the restaurant, it was empty so they were quite okay with us just ordering puddings. I had twice baked redcurrant cheesecake, Rob some rediculously alcoholic milkshake thing called a 'Dom Pedro'. Rob [like he likes to do ;-)] caused a little hassle by ordering a Baileys, and the poor staff were unsure as to whether they had any and went running around the building to find some. Which they did. And Rob was happy. I had some very nice cider with my cheesecake. I blame my Gran for giving me the taste for cider. She likes it at Christmas.
We had a lovely evening talking, and eating, especially when our nice waitress provided some complimentary chocolates.
Saturday was also lovely. At dance I worked really hard on my piece for the church Christmas Party. I'm doing a little ballet solo to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker Suite. It's going quite well and I have a minute left to choreograph. My dance teacher has lent me a royal blue tutu skirt which I shal wear either with my long sleeve black leo or if it still fits a sparklely royal blue one I have somewhere at home. Which is a point I must practice that tonight.
Then I went home and knitted. Yes folks she knitted . Quite alot. Working on the blue cabled scarf and crocheted hat. Both I am proud to report are finished and pics are coming to a blog near you soon.
Rob and the MILTB picked me up at half 2ish anfd we went to find the new cinema in Bath. After a scary parking incident where some poor girl had to reverse down ramps and around corners, we did find a space and we did eventually find the cinema. It's very new and very nice bu the prices are extorsionate. Having missed the orginal showing we went for, we went o get FILTB's present and rushed back ready for the INCREDIBLES!
Which literally is incredible. I urge you all to go and see it and I refuse to spoil the story for you. I have to say that PIXAR excelled themselves on animating people very well and the whol ^0's classic feel does just the job.
KFC on the way home topped a great day. And Rob taught me how to use a Mixman digital Dj type thing program which was also cool.
I got up early on Sunday. And I did all my work for the weekend before church!! That was also very very cool:-) which meant Rob could come over for lunch. I could go to the lovely candle lit advent service with no electricity and Spend the evening with Rob.
I'm a happy bunny.
There is a new project in the knitting mix.a scarf for Verity's pressie done in amazing Snowflake self striping yarn that is just sooooooooooooooooo soft. But slippy on the needles.
Crisp cold morning. Beautiful. The condensation in the computer room is making hills and vallies/valleys on the windows. I feel strangly calm today even though it's only a week to the mock exams. I'll revise in a minute. But first my weekend.
Friday I picked up my wages, thought "Sod it!" and decided to spend them instead. And surprise Rob at the same time. I'm such a multi tasker! Trawling through town in my lunch 40 mins, [note not a lunch hour but a lunch 40 mins :-( ] I checked out the newst restaurant/cafe/bar. 'Bushbaby and I' is run by some South Africans, and all the food is sourced from SA. The menu is delicious sounding. So I thought after music practice I'd take him there, do it US style and go out for dessert. Or pudding as we British say.
My plan was nearly foiled when Rob rang to say that he'd only be seeing me for an hour after music practice as his Dad had the car and he couldn't bring a bass and a violin to Westbury on the bike, so he was coming with his mum and going back with her after she'd finished at prayer. "Bother" said I.
However God was smiling on me in a humourous way, and we were unable to do music practice as someone was cleaning the hall during our slot so we had an extra half hour or so.
When we got to the restaurant, it was empty so they were quite okay with us just ordering puddings. I had twice baked redcurrant cheesecake, Rob some rediculously alcoholic milkshake thing called a 'Dom Pedro'. Rob [like he likes to do ;-)] caused a little hassle by ordering a Baileys, and the poor staff were unsure as to whether they had any and went running around the building to find some. Which they did. And Rob was happy. I had some very nice cider with my cheesecake. I blame my Gran for giving me the taste for cider. She likes it at Christmas.
We had a lovely evening talking, and eating, especially when our nice waitress provided some complimentary chocolates.
Saturday was also lovely. At dance I worked really hard on my piece for the church Christmas Party. I'm doing a little ballet solo to the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker Suite. It's going quite well and I have a minute left to choreograph. My dance teacher has lent me a royal blue tutu skirt which I shal wear either with my long sleeve black leo or if it still fits a sparklely royal blue one I have somewhere at home. Which is a point I must practice that tonight.
Then I went home and knitted. Yes folks she knitted . Quite alot. Working on the blue cabled scarf and crocheted hat. Both I am proud to report are finished and pics are coming to a blog near you soon.
Rob and the MILTB picked me up at half 2ish anfd we went to find the new cinema in Bath. After a scary parking incident where some poor girl had to reverse down ramps and around corners, we did find a space and we did eventually find the cinema. It's very new and very nice bu the prices are extorsionate. Having missed the orginal showing we went for, we went o get FILTB's present and rushed back ready for the INCREDIBLES!
Which literally is incredible. I urge you all to go and see it and I refuse to spoil the story for you. I have to say that PIXAR excelled themselves on animating people very well and the whol ^0's classic feel does just the job.
KFC on the way home topped a great day. And Rob taught me how to use a Mixman digital Dj type thing program which was also cool.
I got up early on Sunday. And I did all my work for the weekend before church!! That was also very very cool:-) which meant Rob could come over for lunch. I could go to the lovely candle lit advent service with no electricity and Spend the evening with Rob.
I'm a happy bunny.
There is a new project in the knitting mix.a scarf for Verity's pressie done in amazing Snowflake self striping yarn that is just sooooooooooooooooo soft. But slippy on the needles.
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