Readvent 1: Challenging

An awesome blogger I read called Princess Lasertron does this cool thing called Readvent, a serious series of blog post prompts around the subject of self reflection.

Here are my thoughts on her prompts so far.

1: Challenging

At the moment I am being challenged most by one big thing and one small thing. The big thing is my fertility.

At the moment Tom and I don't want any children, and because of my ecoptic pregnancy, I don't know what my future fertility will be like. It has supposedly been reduced by 30% due to the removal of my ectopic pregnancy, but I have a contraceptive implant fitted, and so have no idea what it would be like if the implant were removed.

What I am finding challenging, especially at in the run up to Christmas, a real family orientated time of year, is  a possible future desire for children that I might not be able to have.

Friends and family have started asking about if we were thinking of having children, and a few good friends are expecting much wanted babies or have babies. I have been thinking of Christmas traditions I might like to share with children if we had any, like the reading of a chapter day through advent of Jostein Gaarders 'A Christmas Mystery. I have also attended some family events, and really enjoyed the new large and complex extended family I've gained from my marriage to Tom.

However, I don't want to think about it all too much because, I might not be able to have my own biological children, I'm not sure our families would be welcoming of adoptive children, and I'm not sure I'm unselfish enough to be a parent. I am grateful for our uncomplicated, well fed, well financed child free life at the moment. I don't think I can resolve this one yet, and I need to talk to my parents about it. It just gives me that lump in the throat-tight in the chest feeling when I try and mull it over.

The small challenge I am facing is keeping up with housework and everyday life with my new job that involves lots of travelling. Our house is often a mess as Tom and I are both hoarders, and not good at putting things away. It's not often dirty, just lots of things everywhere. It didn't bother me so much when I was younger, but I'm starting to find less cluttered spaces more relaxing and calming.

I am grateful that I am fortunate enough to have all the random stuff I might want and need. I'm going to resolve it by trying to do one little bit of tidying a day, getting the spare room sorted out for Martin coming to stay on Sat, and completely clearing out and dusting all the rooms by the 22nd when Tom's dad comes to stay.

I don't feel that I totally 'kicked butt' at any challenging thing this year, but I have mastered driving since my horrific learning to drive experience. I've had a couple of minor bumps with parked cars, but I got over my fear of motorways pretty quickly, what with having to drive alot for work. It is liberating being able to just get in the car and go.

How to do christmas decor

Queen Anne's Gate London

How to do christmas decor

See the full gallery on Posterous

Queen Anne's Gate London

Cheered me up this morning

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PdABx0Xats?wmode=transparent]

Cheered me up this morning

NaBloPoMo 30: all the prompts

What is the last thing you do before bed?

Snuggle more under the covers and give Tom a kiss.

Describe an heirloom that has been passed down through generations of your family. What is its significance to you personally?

Coming from a family of hoarders, there's a few of these. I have a big chignon pin, possible tortoiseshell, with little cut glass stones around the curve that was from my Great Granny's house. She was the ultimate hoarder, and I think this hair pin could be Victorian.

We've also got some WW1 medals and memorabilia that was my Great Grandad's on my dad's side. He won a medal for bravery, but as he wasn't an officer, he wasn't mentioned in dispatches. There were other records, but these got bombed in WW2. These are very significant to me as they are one of the things that Dad and I especially are interested in, and one of these days we're going to go to the records in Kew, and do some research to try and find out what Grandad did to win his medals.

Do you like to buy presents ahead of time or right when you need to give them?

I like to buy presents ahead of time as I hate rushing around buying them. It also helps with spreading the cost alot. I'm pleased to report that most of the presents have been bought. I'm in charge of present buying in our house as Tom doesn't like doing it very much, and I think it's a fair swap for all the cooking he does.

Do you enjoy being alone? Would you rather be around other people?

I like both. I like a few days to myself, to listen to my music and bimble around. Thus I'm quite enjoying my working from home days as I get my fill of being alone. But I love people too, and get withdrawl symptoms when I've not done enough social things.

Write about a piece of music that changed your life forever. What do you feel when you hear it now?

The Misa Criolla by Ariel Ramierz
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZl8yMH5TLA?wmode=transparent]

I can't think of any song that especially changed my life, but this piece gave me a love of choral music, and another happy bond with my Dad. We'd play it really loud in the car so we could pick up the soft drum beats. It makes me feel alive, and brimming with possibilities. That's probably linked to all the times we were zooming off to pastures new with this as a soundtrack. Here's the Kyrie, but I urge you to listen to all of it.

I also love this cover of Paramore's Hallelujah by the Vitamin String Quartet

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81XL32QK1p8?wmode=transparent]

I first came across it on this video of dancing when I was looking for inspiration when I started dancing again:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa_DQiVV6y8?wmode=transparent]

It's one of those pieces where I can just move to it, and see how I would dance to it. It's also very uplifting.

NaBloPoMo 30: all the prompts

What is the last thing you do before bed?

Snuggle more under the covers and give Tom a kiss.

Describe an heirloom that has been passed down through generations of your family. What is its significance to you personally?

Coming from a family of hoarders, there's a few of these. I have a big chignon pin, possible tortoiseshell, with little cut glass stones around the curve that was from my Great Granny's house. She was the ultimate hoarder, and I think this hair pin could be Victorian.

We've also got some WW1 medals and memorabilia that was my Great Grandad's on my dad's side. He won a medal for bravery, but as he wasn't an officer, he wasn't mentioned in dispatches. There were other records, but these got bombed in WW2. These are very significant to me as they are one of the things that Dad and I especially are interested in, and one of these days we're going to go to the records in Kew, and do some research to try and find out what Grandad did to win his medals.

Do you like to buy presents ahead of time or right when you need to give them?

I like to buy presents ahead of time as I hate rushing around buying them. It also helps with spreading the cost alot. I'm pleased to report that most of the presents have been bought. I'm in charge of present buying in our house as Tom doesn't like doing it very much, and I think it's a fair swap for all the cooking he does.

Do you enjoy being alone? Would you rather be around other people?

I like both. I like a few days to myself, to listen to my music and bimble around. Thus I'm quite enjoying my working from home days as I get my fill of being alone. But I love people too, and get withdrawl symptoms when I've not done enough social things.

Write about a piece of music that changed your life forever. What do you feel when you hear it now?

The Misa Criolla by Ariel Ramierz

I can't think of any song that especially changed my life, but this piece gave me a love of choral music, and another happy bond with my Dad. We'd play it really loud in the car so we could pick up the soft drum beats. It makes me feel alive, and brimming with possibilities. That's probably linked to all the times we were zooming off to pastures new with this as a soundtrack. Here's the Kyrie, but I urge you to listen to all of it.

I also love this cover of Paramore's Hallelujah by the Vitamin String Quartet

I first came across it on this video of dancing when I was looking for inspiration when I started dancing again:

It's one of those pieces where I can just move to it, and see how I would dance to it. It's also very uplifting.

NaBlopomo 29

Quickly reporting in. Am knackered a night dancing, with Ruth and Lula.

NaBlopomo 29

Quickly reporting in. Am knackered a night dancing, with Ruth and Lula.

NoBloPoMo 27+28 Out and about

Been gadding about again for meetings so am catching up now. So very nearly ready for our Christmas campaign.

Went to the advent carol service in the old church near my mum and dad's and brought the mother-in-law along with us. She and Tom's step-dad joined us for supper at my parent's afterwards. All seemed to go ok.

They'd shaken up the order of service slightly, for the better I think, but still with the hymns I've sung under candle light every year I can remember. When you're tiny the box pews were like a maze to prance along, trying to steal more mince pies during the refreshments after than your dad. He ate 8 in one evening there once. I only had one this year, and contented myself with catching up with all the grownups who've known me since I was knee high to a gnat.

It was also the warmest it's ever been at that service. I had to take my gloves off. Last year we trudged through snow and there was ice inside the windows. What a difference. We did have the second frost of the year today, my last rose in the garden shivering under a dusting of ice.

The lovely Amelia asked me "what is the best thing you have ever made?"

Again I can't answer in one. I loved the cake I made for Dad's birthday I made recently and the look on his face when he cut it open.

I loved the Clangers birthday cake I made for my mum with a blue buttercream craggy moonscape, and pink marzipan Clangers.

I like the oil pastel of my uncle and cousins, and the very large wax screenprint of dancers I made for my A level art course.

I like the dress I made with red silk bought all the way back from China, that doesn't fit any more but I can't bear to throw away because it's perfect, and the head piece I made to wear to my wedding, it's pearly wax petals having been in my grandmother's and mother's headpieces before mine.

I think I may love the gloves I knit for Tom the most, expressions of love made to wear out over time, even more so than socks because all of those tiny tubes for fingers and thumbs, ripped out and re knitted to fit over and over again, in the softest stripiest sock yarn.

 

NoBloPoMo 27+28 Out and about

Been gadding about again for meetings so am catching up now. So very nearly ready for our Christmas campaign.

Went to the advent carol service in the old church near my mum and dad's and brought the mother-in-law along with us. She and Tom's step-dad joined us for supper at my parent's afterwards. All seemed to go ok.

They'd shaken up the order of service slightly, for the better I think, but still with the hymns I've sung under candle light every year I can remember. When you're tiny the box pews were like a maze to prance along, trying to steal more mince pies during the refreshments after than your dad. He ate 8 in one evening there once. I only had one this year, and contented myself with catching up with all the grownups who've known me since I was knee high to a gnat.

It was also the warmest it's ever been at that service. I had to take my gloves off. Last year we trudged through snow and there was ice inside the windows. What a difference. We did have the second frost of the year today, my last rose in the garden shivering under a dusting of ice.

The lovely Amelia asked me "what is the best thing you have ever made?"

Again I can't answer in one. I loved the cake I made for Dad's birthday I made recently and the look on his face when he cut it open.

I loved the Clangers birthday cake I made for my mum with a blue buttercream craggy moonscape, and pink marzipan Clangers.

I like the oil pastel of my uncle and cousins, and the very large wax screenprint of dancers I made for my A level art course.

I like the dress I made with red silk bought all the way back from China, that doesn't fit any more but I can't bear to throw away because it's perfect, and the head piece I made to wear to my wedding, it's pearly wax petals having been in my grandmother's and mother's headpieces before mine.

I think I may love the gloves I knit for Tom the most, expressions of love made to wear out over time, even more so than socks because all of those tiny tubes for fingers and thumbs, ripped out and re knitted to fit over and over again, in the softest stripiest sock yarn.

 

Better image of the new hair

 

Straigh out the hairdressers - hard to keep it like this!

What's your favorite kind of fruit?

I love grapes - portable, tasty and you get to eat more than one.

Ask me anything

New hair

Not great but the best I can do

For my mum

For my mum

See the full gallery on Posterous

New hair

Not great but the best I can do

NaBloPoMo 25+26

Gah, a second fail.

I have now got the shortest hair cur I've ever had in my life. No photos yet as I've not uploaded them yet. I feel swishy and grown up.

Work was manic yesterday, still not done, need to do some later today.

Currently at the mother in law's farm, providing tech support on various computers. Went to a village craft fair in a little church and watched a floristry demonstration. Especially like the versions of standard bay trees made up with winter foliage and flowers. Definitely making one for the doorstep this christmas, and if I'm doing your wedding flowers, I think they'd make fab table centres.

NaBloPoMo 25+26

Gah, a second fail.

I have now got the shortest hair cur I've ever had in my life. No photos yet as I've not uploaded them yet. I feel swishy and grown up.

Work was manic yesterday, still not done, need to do some later today.

Currently at the mother in law's farm, providing tech support on various computers. Went to a village craft fair in a little church and watched a floristry demonstration. Especially like the versions of standard bay trees made up with winter foliage and flowers. Definitely making one for the doorstep this christmas, and if I'm doing your wedding flowers, I think they'd make fab table centres.

NaBloPoMo 24: Tired

Today was the first day of this job where I actually felt rushed of my feet. Interestingly though, it wasn't in a bad way. We've booked in a date for a lovely xmas do too.

Cracking headache now though. Probably due to dehydration and tiredness. Stayed up too late last night. Bizarrely, some of yesterdays work included making a pomander and taking step by step photos of the process. Will reveal all shortly.

Am off dancing tonight with Lula, Ruth and Olivia. Don't know if I will be able to keep my eyes open.

Hair cut tomorrow, am going to go much shorter as an experiment. Hold me to that, I always chicken out.

??