Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
And in knitting news
I've converted the flat into a bunch of knitters.
We have a weekly stitch and bitch night as well. Facilitated by the lovely Rach donating wool and needles that her mum didn't want anymore.
Even Marsh is knitting his gf a hat for christmas.
I feel like my role as a knitting evangelist is being fufilled.
On my knitting front, I have baby triplets needing preemie baby wear asap, a 1/4 done arisaig and a funny shawl scaf thing that will eventually have a lovely lacy edging.
Got to go find some preemie patterns
We have a weekly stitch and bitch night as well. Facilitated by the lovely Rach donating wool and needles that her mum didn't want anymore.
Even Marsh is knitting his gf a hat for christmas.
I feel like my role as a knitting evangelist is being fufilled.
On my knitting front, I have baby triplets needing preemie baby wear asap, a 1/4 done arisaig and a funny shawl scaf thing that will eventually have a lovely lacy edging.
Got to go find some preemie patterns
And in knitting news
I've converted the flat into a bunch of knitters.
We have a weekly stitch and bitch night as well. Facilitated by the lovely Rach donating wool and needles that her mum didn't want anymore.
Even Marsh is knitting his gf a hat for christmas.
I feel like my role as a knitting evangelist is being fufilled.
On my knitting front, I have baby triplets needing preemie baby wear asap, a 1/4 done arisaig and a funny shawl scaf thing that will eventually have a lovely lacy edging.
Got to go find some preemie patterns
We have a weekly stitch and bitch night as well. Facilitated by the lovely Rach donating wool and needles that her mum didn't want anymore.
Even Marsh is knitting his gf a hat for christmas.
I feel like my role as a knitting evangelist is being fufilled.
On my knitting front, I have baby triplets needing preemie baby wear asap, a 1/4 done arisaig and a funny shawl scaf thing that will eventually have a lovely lacy edging.
Got to go find some preemie patterns
Friday, November 18, 2005
Home is never far away
Sat here in Rob's chair, having been typing up todays notes, home alone as everyone's out at music practice or prayer meetings.
I feel like I've never been away. I'm cosy, had a cup of tea, been on a train, been dancing around station... After an hour an hour on a train in the dark with essays pouring out my fingers into my laptop.
It feels like I never left. Comfy happy warm.
Sleeping in nice soft beds.
having takeaway.
Just wish I could have the best of both worlds now...Have fun at the Cube flat mates - I'm having slap up chinese;)
I feel like I've never been away. I'm cosy, had a cup of tea, been on a train, been dancing around station... After an hour an hour on a train in the dark with essays pouring out my fingers into my laptop.
It feels like I never left. Comfy happy warm.
Sleeping in nice soft beds.
having takeaway.
Just wish I could have the best of both worlds now...Have fun at the Cube flat mates - I'm having slap up chinese;)
Home is never far away
Sat here in Rob's chair, having been typing up todays notes, home alone as everyone's out at music practice or prayer meetings.
I feel like I've never been away. I'm cosy, had a cup of tea, been on a train, been dancing around station... After an hour an hour on a train in the dark with essays pouring out my fingers into my laptop.
It feels like I never left. Comfy happy warm.
Sleeping in nice soft beds.
having takeaway.
Just wish I could have the best of both worlds now...Have fun at the Cube flat mates - I'm having slap up chinese;)
I feel like I've never been away. I'm cosy, had a cup of tea, been on a train, been dancing around station... After an hour an hour on a train in the dark with essays pouring out my fingers into my laptop.
It feels like I never left. Comfy happy warm.
Sleeping in nice soft beds.
having takeaway.
Just wish I could have the best of both worlds now...Have fun at the Cube flat mates - I'm having slap up chinese;)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
yesterday
yesterday
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Piccies of my room
The water stain where my radiator leaked!
My empty wardrobe - *dies of shock*
My sink area.
My very messy desk area - just like home.
My bed and pinboard, which has since been reorganiszed as I knocked the pic lowest on the board off in my sleep.
Piccies of my room
The water stain where my radiator leaked!
My empty wardrobe - *dies of shock*
My sink area.
My very messy desk area - just like home.
My bed and pinboard, which has since been reorganiszed as I knocked the pic lowest on the board off in my sleep.
Updato Fernando
Well this reading thing is a malarky. I can do it! yay!
As for knitting, the arisaig is on hold till I can photo blog my efforts and ask for advice. I'm knitting this wee shawl thing for someone. Blue and lacy and lovely.
Loads of people here requiring knitting type attention. Hats for cold heads, scarves and woolley socks all required. See we're students. Can't afford heat!
I have to be a hairdresser too.
It's all good.
Found a hug buddy for lonely days as well, Chris my next door neighbour. He's going to be my dancing partner as well so I don't feel left out when the flat goes out. He plays violin too - what is it with me and musical friends?
Missing Rob like crazy. Missing in jokes, laughter and familiar smells. I must work out what washing powder he uses. That's a little more subtle than spraying myself with lynx. I love my man. So much.
As for knitting, the arisaig is on hold till I can photo blog my efforts and ask for advice. I'm knitting this wee shawl thing for someone. Blue and lacy and lovely.
Loads of people here requiring knitting type attention. Hats for cold heads, scarves and woolley socks all required. See we're students. Can't afford heat!
I have to be a hairdresser too.
It's all good.
Found a hug buddy for lonely days as well, Chris my next door neighbour. He's going to be my dancing partner as well so I don't feel left out when the flat goes out. He plays violin too - what is it with me and musical friends?
Missing Rob like crazy. Missing in jokes, laughter and familiar smells. I must work out what washing powder he uses. That's a little more subtle than spraying myself with lynx. I love my man. So much.
Updato Fernando
Well this reading thing is a malarky. I can do it! yay!
As for knitting, the arisaig is on hold till I can photo blog my efforts and ask for advice. I'm knitting this wee shawl thing for someone. Blue and lacy and lovely.
Loads of people here requiring knitting type attention. Hats for cold heads, scarves and woolley socks all required. See we're students. Can't afford heat!
I have to be a hairdresser too.
It's all good.
Found a hug buddy for lonely days as well, Chris my next door neighbour. He's going to be my dancing partner as well so I don't feel left out when the flat goes out. He plays violin too - what is it with me and musical friends?
Missing Rob like crazy. Missing in jokes, laughter and familiar smells. I must work out what washing powder he uses. That's a little more subtle than spraying myself with lynx. I love my man. So much.
As for knitting, the arisaig is on hold till I can photo blog my efforts and ask for advice. I'm knitting this wee shawl thing for someone. Blue and lacy and lovely.
Loads of people here requiring knitting type attention. Hats for cold heads, scarves and woolley socks all required. See we're students. Can't afford heat!
I have to be a hairdresser too.
It's all good.
Found a hug buddy for lonely days as well, Chris my next door neighbour. He's going to be my dancing partner as well so I don't feel left out when the flat goes out. He plays violin too - what is it with me and musical friends?
Missing Rob like crazy. Missing in jokes, laughter and familiar smells. I must work out what washing powder he uses. That's a little more subtle than spraying myself with lynx. I love my man. So much.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
It feels more like home now.
More flat mates :-
Dave - is quiet, and polite, and everso everso in the nicest way possible a bit of a nerd. Poor thing got beaten up on the way home the other night.
Elisa - Loud from London, short, pretty, a singer doing music.
Erin - A Christian from round here who wanted to stay close to her home church. Bonde in the funniest way poss.
I feel settled, I've started calling it home.
I'm just about to start doing my washing.
I've dressed people up as school childrend, I've cooked and frozen food for myself. I've even had my first lectures. Which were introductionry ones and therefore boring.
Strangely, though I got my choice of WW1, I've been assigned to Early Jewish Magic rather than Childhood and Youth in Early Modern Britain. This is going to be interesting. Now when I was trying ot choose my options, this one did stand out at me as if bolded, like God was tryingot say somethig, but I ignored it as I didn't think it'd be applicable to any of my further studies.
But I'm on it anyway. I wonder what God's going to try and teach me.
I met a mature student on my course today. His name is Geoff. 50ish, ex - army, with a Latvian (I think that's right) father. The man is fascinating. And he's a nice not shove it in your face Christian. So far that's 2 on my floor, one in the room below and one on my course at least. God is looking after me.
I'm going to the circus society tonight. Should be fun. What does one wear to that I wonder?
But you know what sucks?
Really sucks?
Missing Rob.
I've been hanging out with Ruth and Sam and their friend. And man do couples make you sick in the nicest way. In jokes, having someone to hug you, company when you need it, understanding when you don't. I miss companionship. Specifically yours Rob.
Especially the sick sense of humour ;-)
Dave - is quiet, and polite, and everso everso in the nicest way possible a bit of a nerd. Poor thing got beaten up on the way home the other night.
Elisa - Loud from London, short, pretty, a singer doing music.
Erin - A Christian from round here who wanted to stay close to her home church. Bonde in the funniest way poss.
I feel settled, I've started calling it home.
I'm just about to start doing my washing.
I've dressed people up as school childrend, I've cooked and frozen food for myself. I've even had my first lectures. Which were introductionry ones and therefore boring.
Strangely, though I got my choice of WW1, I've been assigned to Early Jewish Magic rather than Childhood and Youth in Early Modern Britain. This is going to be interesting. Now when I was trying ot choose my options, this one did stand out at me as if bolded, like God was tryingot say somethig, but I ignored it as I didn't think it'd be applicable to any of my further studies.
But I'm on it anyway. I wonder what God's going to try and teach me.
I met a mature student on my course today. His name is Geoff. 50ish, ex - army, with a Latvian (I think that's right) father. The man is fascinating. And he's a nice not shove it in your face Christian. So far that's 2 on my floor, one in the room below and one on my course at least. God is looking after me.
I'm going to the circus society tonight. Should be fun. What does one wear to that I wonder?
But you know what sucks?
Really sucks?
Missing Rob.
I've been hanging out with Ruth and Sam and their friend. And man do couples make you sick in the nicest way. In jokes, having someone to hug you, company when you need it, understanding when you don't. I miss companionship. Specifically yours Rob.
Especially the sick sense of humour ;-)
It feels more like home now.
More flat mates :-
Dave - is quiet, and polite, and everso everso in the nicest way possible a bit of a nerd. Poor thing got beaten up on the way home the other night.
Elisa - Loud from London, short, pretty, a singer doing music.
Erin - A Christian from round here who wanted to stay close to her home church. Bonde in the funniest way poss.
I feel settled, I've started calling it home.
I'm just about to start doing my washing.
I've dressed people up as school childrend, I've cooked and frozen food for myself. I've even had my first lectures. Which were introductionry ones and therefore boring.
Strangely, though I got my choice of WW1, I've been assigned to Early Jewish Magic rather than Childhood and Youth in Early Modern Britain. This is going to be interesting. Now when I was trying ot choose my options, this one did stand out at me as if bolded, like God was tryingot say somethig, but I ignored it as I didn't think it'd be applicable to any of my further studies.
But I'm on it anyway. I wonder what God's going to try and teach me.
I met a mature student on my course today. His name is Geoff. 50ish, ex - army, with a Latvian (I think that's right) father. The man is fascinating. And he's a nice not shove it in your face Christian. So far that's 2 on my floor, one in the room below and one on my course at least. God is looking after me.
I'm going to the circus society tonight. Should be fun. What does one wear to that I wonder?
But you know what sucks?
Really sucks?
Missing Rob.
I've been hanging out with Ruth and Sam and their friend. And man do couples make you sick in the nicest way. In jokes, having someone to hug you, company when you need it, understanding when you don't. I miss companionship. Specifically yours Rob.
Especially the sick sense of humour ;-)
Dave - is quiet, and polite, and everso everso in the nicest way possible a bit of a nerd. Poor thing got beaten up on the way home the other night.
Elisa - Loud from London, short, pretty, a singer doing music.
Erin - A Christian from round here who wanted to stay close to her home church. Bonde in the funniest way poss.
I feel settled, I've started calling it home.
I'm just about to start doing my washing.
I've dressed people up as school childrend, I've cooked and frozen food for myself. I've even had my first lectures. Which were introductionry ones and therefore boring.
Strangely, though I got my choice of WW1, I've been assigned to Early Jewish Magic rather than Childhood and Youth in Early Modern Britain. This is going to be interesting. Now when I was trying ot choose my options, this one did stand out at me as if bolded, like God was tryingot say somethig, but I ignored it as I didn't think it'd be applicable to any of my further studies.
But I'm on it anyway. I wonder what God's going to try and teach me.
I met a mature student on my course today. His name is Geoff. 50ish, ex - army, with a Latvian (I think that's right) father. The man is fascinating. And he's a nice not shove it in your face Christian. So far that's 2 on my floor, one in the room below and one on my course at least. God is looking after me.
I'm going to the circus society tonight. Should be fun. What does one wear to that I wonder?
But you know what sucks?
Really sucks?
Missing Rob.
I've been hanging out with Ruth and Sam and their friend. And man do couples make you sick in the nicest way. In jokes, having someone to hug you, company when you need it, understanding when you don't. I miss companionship. Specifically yours Rob.
Especially the sick sense of humour ;-)
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Day 3 - I might survive.
Fortunately the people on my floor are lovely.
There's Sam, music student, in a long term relationship with Ruth who's also here to do music but not in this building, plays spanish guitar and sings tenor and cooks me bacon in the morn.
There's Chris who's quiet and always listening but always interested and genuine.
There's Amy who's an ex of a friend from home who has cool tattoos and does martial arts...
and loud london Amey who went backpacking in NZ for a year and who I don't think has slept yet.
more People from hall in my next post - I'll keep you waiting.
I feel settled now. Everything is unpacked and lovely and homey. I've cooked a proper meal. Made a friend. Told people about knitting. Ridden my bike. Registered!
I think I'll be ok
There's Sam, music student, in a long term relationship with Ruth who's also here to do music but not in this building, plays spanish guitar and sings tenor and cooks me bacon in the morn.
There's Chris who's quiet and always listening but always interested and genuine.
There's Amy who's an ex of a friend from home who has cool tattoos and does martial arts...
and loud london Amey who went backpacking in NZ for a year and who I don't think has slept yet.
more People from hall in my next post - I'll keep you waiting.
I feel settled now. Everything is unpacked and lovely and homey. I've cooked a proper meal. Made a friend. Told people about knitting. Ridden my bike. Registered!
I think I'll be ok
Day 3 - I might survive.
Fortunately the people on my floor are lovely.
There's Sam, music student, in a long term relationship with Ruth who's also here to do music but not in this building, plays spanish guitar and sings tenor and cooks me bacon in the morn.
There's Chris who's quiet and always listening but always interested and genuine.
There's Amy who's an ex of a friend from home who has cool tattoos and does martial arts...
and loud london Amey who went backpacking in NZ for a year and who I don't think has slept yet.
more People from hall in my next post - I'll keep you waiting.
I feel settled now. Everything is unpacked and lovely and homey. I've cooked a proper meal. Made a friend. Told people about knitting. Ridden my bike. Registered!
I think I'll be ok
There's Sam, music student, in a long term relationship with Ruth who's also here to do music but not in this building, plays spanish guitar and sings tenor and cooks me bacon in the morn.
There's Chris who's quiet and always listening but always interested and genuine.
There's Amy who's an ex of a friend from home who has cool tattoos and does martial arts...
and loud london Amey who went backpacking in NZ for a year and who I don't think has slept yet.
more People from hall in my next post - I'll keep you waiting.
I feel settled now. Everything is unpacked and lovely and homey. I've cooked a proper meal. Made a friend. Told people about knitting. Ridden my bike. Registered!
I think I'll be ok
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Here I am
with tears in my eyes, as I am all alone for the first time in my life.
I've unpacked most of my stuff, Rob's only just left, but I feel lonely.
I don't want to go to the bar, the kind of people I feel comfortable with won't be there. I'll get smokey and I hate smelling of smoke.
Maybe I'll go cook something later.
I hope it gets better than this.
I've unpacked most of my stuff, Rob's only just left, but I feel lonely.
I don't want to go to the bar, the kind of people I feel comfortable with won't be there. I'll get smokey and I hate smelling of smoke.
Maybe I'll go cook something later.
I hope it gets better than this.
Here I am
with tears in my eyes, as I am all alone for the first time in my life.
I've unpacked most of my stuff, Rob's only just left, but I feel lonely.
I don't want to go to the bar, the kind of people I feel comfortable with won't be there. I'll get smokey and I hate smelling of smoke.
Maybe I'll go cook something later.
I hope it gets better than this.
I've unpacked most of my stuff, Rob's only just left, but I feel lonely.
I don't want to go to the bar, the kind of people I feel comfortable with won't be there. I'll get smokey and I hate smelling of smoke.
Maybe I'll go cook something later.
I hope it gets better than this.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Baby knitting.
I'd forgotten how quickly you can knit things for babies. That something you can knit in a few hours can be so satifying.
Baby booties rock.
Any knitted requests out there?
Baby booties rock.
Any knitted requests out there?
Baby knitting.
I'd forgotten how quickly you can knit things for babies. That something you can knit in a few hours can be so satifying.
Baby booties rock.
Any knitted requests out there?
Baby booties rock.
Any knitted requests out there?
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Packing
Grr I hate hate hate it!
I'm packing for uni. I have stuff everywhere. And man does it seem like so much stuff. Too much stuff. Stuff everywhere. How many tops/jeans will I need?
I have a room full of things to go with me. Most of it is food that my rents kindly bought me, but it seems a huge amount. I need to put it all in boxes so it looks tidy.
I might not be a tidy person but i like things to look tidy. At least look it.
Hence why I'm squeezing all my clothes into one bag....Help me!
I'm packing for uni. I have stuff everywhere. And man does it seem like so much stuff. Too much stuff. Stuff everywhere. How many tops/jeans will I need?
I have a room full of things to go with me. Most of it is food that my rents kindly bought me, but it seems a huge amount. I need to put it all in boxes so it looks tidy.
I might not be a tidy person but i like things to look tidy. At least look it.
Hence why I'm squeezing all my clothes into one bag....Help me!
Packing
Grr I hate hate hate it!
I'm packing for uni. I have stuff everywhere. And man does it seem like so much stuff. Too much stuff. Stuff everywhere. How many tops/jeans will I need?
I have a room full of things to go with me. Most of it is food that my rents kindly bought me, but it seems a huge amount. I need to put it all in boxes so it looks tidy.
I might not be a tidy person but i like things to look tidy. At least look it.
Hence why I'm squeezing all my clothes into one bag....Help me!
I'm packing for uni. I have stuff everywhere. And man does it seem like so much stuff. Too much stuff. Stuff everywhere. How many tops/jeans will I need?
I have a room full of things to go with me. Most of it is food that my rents kindly bought me, but it seems a huge amount. I need to put it all in boxes so it looks tidy.
I might not be a tidy person but i like things to look tidy. At least look it.
Hence why I'm squeezing all my clothes into one bag....Help me!
Monday, September 19, 2005
Pared down blogging.
I write better without the distractions of the full post creating mumbo jumbo. I write better when using the 'blog this' button from the Google Toolbar. Could anyone explain why?
Now then, now then.
I went to an acoustic night last night at Jon's. The A- Foo- Stics were playing, which should give you some idea of the set list. The Foo's held sway and it was heart breakingly beautiful, particularly on 'Best of You' where Jon's voice cracked and he had to laugh and it just made me sad to think that I'm leaving. Especially Lizzy, who's always the side kick in such enterprises. Best woman material no doubt.
I'm happier now about all that. Of course I don't want to leave Rob. In fact I cry a little each time I think about it, but Scott and Lori, bless their cotton socks give me heart. If they can sustain a relationship with oceans in the way, then Rob and I can manage an hour and a half's drive. It will be fine. :)
I've been reading books from my list, half heartedly packing as I hate packing, and finding out all sorts of people I know are going round my way so I won't be lonely. Everyone seem to be afraid I'll turn into a recluse. I'm sure that won't happen, but I'm looking forward to some alone time in a way. Having always lived with lots of people, it'll be nice to have some space that no one can walk into without my key.
Rob went to a JJ72 concert last night and fell in 'love' with their bass player. The fickle man;) Just coz she's hot and in a band. Joking aside they are a great band.
That is it.
Now then, now then.
I went to an acoustic night last night at Jon's. The A- Foo- Stics were playing, which should give you some idea of the set list. The Foo's held sway and it was heart breakingly beautiful, particularly on 'Best of You' where Jon's voice cracked and he had to laugh and it just made me sad to think that I'm leaving. Especially Lizzy, who's always the side kick in such enterprises. Best woman material no doubt.
I'm happier now about all that. Of course I don't want to leave Rob. In fact I cry a little each time I think about it, but Scott and Lori, bless their cotton socks give me heart. If they can sustain a relationship with oceans in the way, then Rob and I can manage an hour and a half's drive. It will be fine. :)
I've been reading books from my list, half heartedly packing as I hate packing, and finding out all sorts of people I know are going round my way so I won't be lonely. Everyone seem to be afraid I'll turn into a recluse. I'm sure that won't happen, but I'm looking forward to some alone time in a way. Having always lived with lots of people, it'll be nice to have some space that no one can walk into without my key.
Rob went to a JJ72 concert last night and fell in 'love' with their bass player. The fickle man;) Just coz she's hot and in a band. Joking aside they are a great band.
That is it.
Pared down blogging.
I write better without the distractions of the full post creating mumbo jumbo. I write better when using the 'blog this' button from the Google Toolbar. Could anyone explain why?
Now then, now then.
I went to an acoustic night last night at Jon's. The A- Foo- Stics were playing, which should give you some idea of the set list. The Foo's held sway and it was heart breakingly beautiful, particularly on 'Best of You' where Jon's voice cracked and he had to laugh and it just made me sad to think that I'm leaving. Especially Lizzy, who's always the side kick in such enterprises. Best woman material no doubt.
I'm happier now about all that. Of course I don't want to leave Rob. In fact I cry a little each time I think about it, but Scott and Lori, bless their cotton socks give me heart. If they can sustain a relationship with oceans in the way, then Rob and I can manage an hour and a half's drive. It will be fine. :)
I've been reading books from my list, half heartedly packing as I hate packing, and finding out all sorts of people I know are going round my way so I won't be lonely. Everyone seem to be afraid I'll turn into a recluse. I'm sure that won't happen, but I'm looking forward to some alone time in a way. Having always lived with lots of people, it'll be nice to have some space that no one can walk into without my key.
Rob went to a JJ72 concert last night and fell in 'love' with their bass player. The fickle man;) Just coz she's hot and in a band. Joking aside they are a great band.
That is it.
Now then, now then.
I went to an acoustic night last night at Jon's. The A- Foo- Stics were playing, which should give you some idea of the set list. The Foo's held sway and it was heart breakingly beautiful, particularly on 'Best of You' where Jon's voice cracked and he had to laugh and it just made me sad to think that I'm leaving. Especially Lizzy, who's always the side kick in such enterprises. Best woman material no doubt.
I'm happier now about all that. Of course I don't want to leave Rob. In fact I cry a little each time I think about it, but Scott and Lori, bless their cotton socks give me heart. If they can sustain a relationship with oceans in the way, then Rob and I can manage an hour and a half's drive. It will be fine. :)
I've been reading books from my list, half heartedly packing as I hate packing, and finding out all sorts of people I know are going round my way so I won't be lonely. Everyone seem to be afraid I'll turn into a recluse. I'm sure that won't happen, but I'm looking forward to some alone time in a way. Having always lived with lots of people, it'll be nice to have some space that no one can walk into without my key.
Rob went to a JJ72 concert last night and fell in 'love' with their bass player. The fickle man;) Just coz she's hot and in a band. Joking aside they are a great band.
That is it.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Last night
Gosh almighty!
We had our first band practice for the youth service when I'm being worship leader... it was incredible.
These kids are 12 - 14 and they sound amazing - Rob was excellent getting everyone motiviated and organised, we learnt 2 songs in 2 hours!
I felt proud watching him. This man who I'm going to marry. He's working away at something he's passionate about. Being professional. Teaching these little people big things in a way they can pick up first time round.
I'm happy today.
I want to dance - but i have to go get money out for my driving lesson.
We had our first band practice for the youth service when I'm being worship leader... it was incredible.
These kids are 12 - 14 and they sound amazing - Rob was excellent getting everyone motiviated and organised, we learnt 2 songs in 2 hours!
I felt proud watching him. This man who I'm going to marry. He's working away at something he's passionate about. Being professional. Teaching these little people big things in a way they can pick up first time round.
I'm happy today.
I want to dance - but i have to go get money out for my driving lesson.
Last night
Gosh almighty!
We had our first band practice for the youth service when I'm being worship leader... it was incredible.
These kids are 12 - 14 and they sound amazing - Rob was excellent getting everyone motiviated and organised, we learnt 2 songs in 2 hours!
I felt proud watching him. This man who I'm going to marry. He's working away at something he's passionate about. Being professional. Teaching these little people big things in a way they can pick up first time round.
I'm happy today.
I want to dance - but i have to go get money out for my driving lesson.
We had our first band practice for the youth service when I'm being worship leader... it was incredible.
These kids are 12 - 14 and they sound amazing - Rob was excellent getting everyone motiviated and organised, we learnt 2 songs in 2 hours!
I felt proud watching him. This man who I'm going to marry. He's working away at something he's passionate about. Being professional. Teaching these little people big things in a way they can pick up first time round.
I'm happy today.
I want to dance - but i have to go get money out for my driving lesson.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Just writing by
Stream of consciousness mind splut time.
I've finished working. No more money is coming into this account. Things, oh I don't know, things, are pottering by. It is less than a month till I leave for university and I don't want to go.
By that sentence you must have realised that I passed my Alevels. 3 A's and a B. Yadda, yadda, yawn. You know I feel hurt. And lonely. I actually typed lovely first there, But I don't feel that. I've been out of sorts since forever.
I'm pleased I did well and cross at the same time. I don't want to go now at all. I'm scared. Really scared. I've wanted this since I knew what university meant, since I knew what I could achieve.
I screwed up a few weeks ago. I went to a party alone. Rob didn't want to come. For some reason, no good reason, because I could and it was there, I just drank and drank and drank till I blacked out and can't remember what I did. I don't know how I got home. My friends rang to my parents.
And I am so ashamed of it. I can't live with myself. Rob went mental, as he was well within his rights to do so. Fortunately, I did nothing apart from get drunk to shame him also, but I can't live like this. I'm glad I did it here and not there, the horrible there, where anyone could have done anything. He put me on a two week probation which finished at the end of our holiday. I had to show him I was worth his time and effort.
I passed thank God.
I sacrificed my holiday to him, I worked hard to make sure he could see I love him. I bit my tongue. It's been like I've forgotten how to love and feel and be anything good really. So I tried and it worked, there in the cool Irish mists and mountains.
God was there, you know? I've been running so far away from him, desperate to be normal, to have a life. I don't like the plans he has for me and I know inside I have to surrender to them, but I don't want them. I don't want to have to lived here in Wiltshire where all is desolate. I don't want anything but a happy marriage and a house and a dog and a baby. All things I am so unworthy of all things I don't deserve. I am just wrong . Just wrong.
I don't want to go. I'm so scared. I can't talk to anyone about this. Rob just brushes over it, saying it's what you've always wanted. My friends, my so called, say you'll enjoy when you're there. My parents say you can't not go just because it's complicated.
But I feel like I can't cope with all the money things, I feel like I'm going to get into lots and lots of debt. I fell like I won't know what to do or say.
I don't how I'll cope being away from Rob especially when things are all new and growing again.
It will be three years on the 15th. I want another 50, another 100. I'll be 19 soon too. I don't want a party or anything or presents or cake. I just wish everything would become transparent. So I could see through it, so I could understand it.
And not feel like this.
I've finished working. No more money is coming into this account. Things, oh I don't know, things, are pottering by. It is less than a month till I leave for university and I don't want to go.
By that sentence you must have realised that I passed my Alevels. 3 A's and a B. Yadda, yadda, yawn. You know I feel hurt. And lonely. I actually typed lovely first there, But I don't feel that. I've been out of sorts since forever.
I'm pleased I did well and cross at the same time. I don't want to go now at all. I'm scared. Really scared. I've wanted this since I knew what university meant, since I knew what I could achieve.
I screwed up a few weeks ago. I went to a party alone. Rob didn't want to come. For some reason, no good reason, because I could and it was there, I just drank and drank and drank till I blacked out and can't remember what I did. I don't know how I got home. My friends rang to my parents.
And I am so ashamed of it. I can't live with myself. Rob went mental, as he was well within his rights to do so. Fortunately, I did nothing apart from get drunk to shame him also, but I can't live like this. I'm glad I did it here and not there, the horrible there, where anyone could have done anything. He put me on a two week probation which finished at the end of our holiday. I had to show him I was worth his time and effort.
I passed thank God.
I sacrificed my holiday to him, I worked hard to make sure he could see I love him. I bit my tongue. It's been like I've forgotten how to love and feel and be anything good really. So I tried and it worked, there in the cool Irish mists and mountains.
God was there, you know? I've been running so far away from him, desperate to be normal, to have a life. I don't like the plans he has for me and I know inside I have to surrender to them, but I don't want them. I don't want to have to lived here in Wiltshire where all is desolate. I don't want anything but a happy marriage and a house and a dog and a baby. All things I am so unworthy of all things I don't deserve. I am just wrong . Just wrong.
I don't want to go. I'm so scared. I can't talk to anyone about this. Rob just brushes over it, saying it's what you've always wanted. My friends, my so called, say you'll enjoy when you're there. My parents say you can't not go just because it's complicated.
But I feel like I can't cope with all the money things, I feel like I'm going to get into lots and lots of debt. I fell like I won't know what to do or say.
I don't how I'll cope being away from Rob especially when things are all new and growing again.
It will be three years on the 15th. I want another 50, another 100. I'll be 19 soon too. I don't want a party or anything or presents or cake. I just wish everything would become transparent. So I could see through it, so I could understand it.
And not feel like this.
Just writing by
Stream of consciousness mind splut time.
I've finished working. No more money is coming into this account. Things, oh I don't know, things, are pottering by. It is less than a month till I leave for university and I don't want to go.
By that sentence you must have realised that I passed my Alevels. 3 A's and a B. Yadda, yadda, yawn. You know I feel hurt. And lonely. I actually typed lovely first there, But I don't feel that. I've been out of sorts since forever.
I'm pleased I did well and cross at the same time. I don't want to go now at all. I'm scared. Really scared. I've wanted this since I knew what university meant, since I knew what I could achieve.
I screwed up a few weeks ago. I went to a party alone. Rob didn't want to come. For some reason, no good reason, because I could and it was there, I just drank and drank and drank till I blacked out and can't remember what I did. I don't know how I got home. My friends rang to my parents.
And I am so ashamed of it. I can't live with myself. Rob went mental, as he was well within his rights to do so. Fortunately, I did nothing apart from get drunk to shame him also, but I can't live like this. I'm glad I did it here and not there, the horrible there, where anyone could have done anything. He put me on a two week probation which finished at the end of our holiday. I had to show him I was worth his time and effort.
I passed thank God.
I sacrificed my holiday to him, I worked hard to make sure he could see I love him. I bit my tongue. It's been like I've forgotten how to love and feel and be anything good really. So I tried and it worked, there in the cool Irish mists and mountains.
God was there, you know? I've been running so far away from him, desperate to be normal, to have a life. I don't like the plans he has for me and I know inside I have to surrender to them, but I don't want them. I don't want to have to lived here in Wiltshire where all is desolate. I don't want anything but a happy marriage and a house and a dog and a baby. All things I am so unworthy of all things I don't deserve. I am just wrong . Just wrong.
I don't want to go. I'm so scared. I can't talk to anyone about this. Rob just brushes over it, saying it's what you've always wanted. My friends, my so called, say you'll enjoy when you're there. My parents say you can't not go just because it's complicated.
But I feel like I can't cope with all the money things, I feel like I'm going to get into lots and lots of debt. I fell like I won't know what to do or say.
I don't how I'll cope being away from Rob especially when things are all new and growing again.
It will be three years on the 15th. I want another 50, another 100. I'll be 19 soon too. I don't want a party or anything or presents or cake. I just wish everything would become transparent. So I could see through it, so I could understand it.
And not feel like this.
I've finished working. No more money is coming into this account. Things, oh I don't know, things, are pottering by. It is less than a month till I leave for university and I don't want to go.
By that sentence you must have realised that I passed my Alevels. 3 A's and a B. Yadda, yadda, yawn. You know I feel hurt. And lonely. I actually typed lovely first there, But I don't feel that. I've been out of sorts since forever.
I'm pleased I did well and cross at the same time. I don't want to go now at all. I'm scared. Really scared. I've wanted this since I knew what university meant, since I knew what I could achieve.
I screwed up a few weeks ago. I went to a party alone. Rob didn't want to come. For some reason, no good reason, because I could and it was there, I just drank and drank and drank till I blacked out and can't remember what I did. I don't know how I got home. My friends rang to my parents.
And I am so ashamed of it. I can't live with myself. Rob went mental, as he was well within his rights to do so. Fortunately, I did nothing apart from get drunk to shame him also, but I can't live like this. I'm glad I did it here and not there, the horrible there, where anyone could have done anything. He put me on a two week probation which finished at the end of our holiday. I had to show him I was worth his time and effort.
I passed thank God.
I sacrificed my holiday to him, I worked hard to make sure he could see I love him. I bit my tongue. It's been like I've forgotten how to love and feel and be anything good really. So I tried and it worked, there in the cool Irish mists and mountains.
God was there, you know? I've been running so far away from him, desperate to be normal, to have a life. I don't like the plans he has for me and I know inside I have to surrender to them, but I don't want them. I don't want to have to lived here in Wiltshire where all is desolate. I don't want anything but a happy marriage and a house and a dog and a baby. All things I am so unworthy of all things I don't deserve. I am just wrong . Just wrong.
I don't want to go. I'm so scared. I can't talk to anyone about this. Rob just brushes over it, saying it's what you've always wanted. My friends, my so called, say you'll enjoy when you're there. My parents say you can't not go just because it's complicated.
But I feel like I can't cope with all the money things, I feel like I'm going to get into lots and lots of debt. I fell like I won't know what to do or say.
I don't how I'll cope being away from Rob especially when things are all new and growing again.
It will be three years on the 15th. I want another 50, another 100. I'll be 19 soon too. I don't want a party or anything or presents or cake. I just wish everything would become transparent. So I could see through it, so I could understand it.
And not feel like this.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Possible wedding music
Rob gave me some happy and welcome new over this weekend.
He said to me, that no matter what happens in the next few month, we can begin planning the wedding officially in March of next year.
He got a great new job see, and a promotion on top of that, making him a Band D in the Ministry of Defense and a start of a career.
So things seem more stable.
These 7 months before the almighty plan begins give me time to think through possibles, and the below are possible pieces of music to play in the church before the service begins.
Passacaglia - by Bear McCready - from the Battlestar Galactica OST
Pavane - by Regina Cater - It's a jazz version of the famous Pavane, very moving.
Jupiter - by Holst - For sheer exuberance
Sleepers Awake - by Bach - I'm walking down the aisle to this. It's so powerful and different.
He said to me, that no matter what happens in the next few month, we can begin planning the wedding officially in March of next year.
He got a great new job see, and a promotion on top of that, making him a Band D in the Ministry of Defense and a start of a career.
So things seem more stable.
These 7 months before the almighty plan begins give me time to think through possibles, and the below are possible pieces of music to play in the church before the service begins.
Passacaglia - by Bear McCready - from the Battlestar Galactica OST
Pavane - by Regina Cater - It's a jazz version of the famous Pavane, very moving.
Jupiter - by Holst - For sheer exuberance
Sleepers Awake - by Bach - I'm walking down the aisle to this. It's so powerful and different.
Possible wedding music
Rob gave me some happy and welcome new over this weekend.
He said to me, that no matter what happens in the next few month, we can begin planning the wedding officially in March of next year.
He got a great new job see, and a promotion on top of that, making him a Band D in the Ministry of Defense and a start of a career.
So things seem more stable.
These 7 months before the almighty plan begins give me time to think through possibles, and the below are possible pieces of music to play in the church before the service begins.
Passacaglia - by Bear McCready - from the Battlestar Galactica OST
Pavane - by Regina Cater - It's a jazz version of the famous Pavane, very moving.
Jupiter - by Holst - For sheer exuberance
Sleepers Awake - by Bach - I'm walking down the aisle to this. It's so powerful and different.
He said to me, that no matter what happens in the next few month, we can begin planning the wedding officially in March of next year.
He got a great new job see, and a promotion on top of that, making him a Band D in the Ministry of Defense and a start of a career.
So things seem more stable.
These 7 months before the almighty plan begins give me time to think through possibles, and the below are possible pieces of music to play in the church before the service begins.
Passacaglia - by Bear McCready - from the Battlestar Galactica OST
Pavane - by Regina Cater - It's a jazz version of the famous Pavane, very moving.
Jupiter - by Holst - For sheer exuberance
Sleepers Awake - by Bach - I'm walking down the aisle to this. It's so powerful and different.
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