26/5/2007

I seem to have to have lost my mojo. Have you seen it?

Yesterday I did a little latin revision. Today I am going to try practicing my translation by translating a bit of Winnie the Pooh. My mum bought a copy of it in latin for me at the beginning of term. Should be interesting.

I watched the History vs. Archaeology cricket friendly yesterday. I'm not one for sport, but it was something to do. History were the more experienced team and were doing fairly well until a third of the way through the Archaeology innings (I think that's the right word). Archaeology very nearly caught up, but some good catching meant History ultimately prevailed. I almost sound like I know what I'm talking about. It was nice to sit in the sun and drink Pimms and try and revise.

I then went to the pub and ate tea with my future housemates. We spent the evening discussing the foilables of studying history and all sorts of things. It was interesting, but I still feel very removed from History folk. I'm so very much a historian, and love studying it, but the politics of it upset me and leave me cold.

We also talked about what our passions were. Alex and Dave can't live without their music. It made me think about what I am passionate about, and it made me sad to realise there isn't really anything. I love my knitting and my art and my making, but if I couldn't do it, and to be honest this week is the first week that I've picked up the needles for a long time, I wouldn't miss it much. I danced so much when I was at school, and it tailed off when I came to uni. I miss it, but it doesn't consume me. I would like something that filled me with joy, a never ending supply of sustinance.

I'm feeling very numb and empty today. Much like I've felt since Christmas really. Some days are so full of colour and things and noises and other days are like walking in grey treacle.

Amy is hopefully coming round later, and I have a birthday party to go to. I don't really feel like it. I don't really feel like anything much. Maybe if I could disappear for a bit. That would be nice.